Jokes

[hokkien]

One night a man and a woman are both at a bar knocking back a few beers. They start talking and come to realize that they're both doctors. After about an hour, the man says to the woman, "Hey. How about if we sleep together tonight. No strings attached. It'll just be one night of fun." The woman doctor agrees to it.

So they go back to her place and he goes in the bedroom. She goes in the bathroom and starts scrubbing up like she's about to go into the operating room. She scrubs for a good 10 minutes. Finally she goes in the bedroom and they have sex for an hour or so.

Afterwards, the man says to the woman, "You're a surgeon, aren't you?" "Yeah, how did you know?" The man says, "I could tell by the way you scrubbed up before we started." "Oh, that makes sense", says the woman. " You're an anesthesiologist aren't you?" "Yeah", says the man , a bit surprised. "How did you know?" The woman answers, "Because I didn't feel a thing."

 

[hokkien]

Sadie lost her husband almost four years ago and still has not gotten out of her depression, mourning as if it were only yesterday. Her daughter constantly is calling her and urging her to get back into the world. Finally, Sadie says she'd go out, but didn't know anyone. Her daughter immediately replies, "Mama! I have someone for you to meet."

Well, it was an immediate hit. They took to one another and after dating for six weeks he asks her to join him for a weekend in the Catskills. And we know what that meant. Their first night there she undresses, as he does. There she stood, nude, except for a pair of black lacy panties. He in his birthday suit. Looking at her he asks, "Why the black panties?" She replies, "My breasts you can fondle, my body is yours to explore, but down there I am still in mourning."

He knows he's not getting lucky that night. The following night the same scenario. She standing there with the black panties on and he in his birthday suit; except that he has an erection on which he has a black condom. She looks at him and asks, "What's with this ... a black condom?" He replies, "I want to offer my condolences."

 

[looneytan]

says the woman "You're an anesthesiologist aren't you?"
"no", says the man "I am patholgist and I was examining dead body"

 

[hokkien]

says the woman "You're an anesthesiologist aren't you?"
"no", says the man "I am patholgist and I was examining dead body"

LOL Bro you sibei good

 

[Television]

Q: How do you swat 200 flies at one time
A: Hit an Ethiopian in the face with a frying pan.

Q. How do you know if a Chinese person robbed your house?
A. Your homework is done, your computer is upgraded, but two hours later, the fucker is still trying to back out of your driveway.

 

[Television]

I just went out and bought a Calculator.

 

[hokkien]

Bro what is Ethiopian ???

 

[looneytan]

 

[hokkien]

Bro looneytan's that is Ethiopian ?

 

[hokkien]

Lady: "doctor, I feel very weak."
Dr: "how many times do u have sex?"
Lady: "5 times, mon-fri."
Dr: "cut down Wed."
Lady: "but that's the only day I m with my husband!"

 

[Reddog]

A mini-bus owner and concurrently the chairman of a pap RC, was driving with a busload of seniors citizens from his GRC to visit some durian farms in JB. During the journey, a little old lady tapped his shoulder. She offered him a handful of shelled peanuts, which he gratefully munches.
After about 15 minutes, she tapped him on his shoulder again. She handed him another handful of peanuts. She repeated this gesture for about five times.
When she was about to hand him another batch again, the RC chairman asked the little old lady: 'Why don't you eat the peanuts yourself?'
'I can't chew them because I do not have teeth,' the old lady replied.
The puzzled driver asked: 'Why do you buy them then?'
The old lady replied: 'I just love the chocolate around them.'

 

[looneytan]

sound like story of RonRon

 

[Agoraphobic]

It was a convention and the topic was abortion. The world's religious bodies were represented and the first up the podium was a Catholic priest. When the crowd's murmurs settled down, he began to speak, "Life, begins when the sperm fertilizes the egg, and a living thing is formed. Therefore abortion is murder and is a sin!" The crowd in the hall responded with bursts of claps and boos. Then a protestant pastor took the stand and said, "Life begins when the baby is born and breathes its first breath of oxygen into its lungs and in seeps the life-giving oxygen, therefore abortion is not a sin, and people should have control over their lives!" Again the crowd responded with a mixed cacophony of boos and claps. An aged rabbi then took the podium and said, "I do not know where you guys received your education, but I've been around a long long time and I can tell you - Life begins when the wife dies and the kids leave home."

Cheers!

 

[apogee]

It's a long time, we have jokes in the forum. So I just bump this to have more laughs