I'm currently a J1 student from an elite junior college (via the JAE) and I'm teetering on the brink of suicide. I'm not here to share some long-winded story but just to tell everyone that:
Loneliness kills. It's this sickening feeling of being surrounded by people in your class, your cca mates and not being able to really talk to them. It's not having any friends in your class even though they're literally the group of people you spend most of the time with day in, day out. It's you constantly being the one asking your secondary school friends out without anyone else ever bothering to take the initiative. Loneliness is eating alone every day by yourself whilst everyone else is doing so in groups. Or it could also be that sickening, hopeless sense of fear of missing out (FOMO) when you witness your supposedly closest pals popping up more times on the Instagram stories of others than you do. It's the blood-boiling indignance as you curse the heavens for your shitty predicament. It's seeing other people in class take photos with their friends, knowing damn well that you'd never appear in them.
...........It's spending countless nights crying yourself to sleep, wishing you'd get knocked down by a car so you won't have to feel this way anymore or staring down from the corridor outside your classroom wondering hey wouldn't it be swell if I jumped right now.
More at https://www.domainofexperts.com/2022/05/death-by-loneliness.html
Loneliness kills. It's this sickening feeling of being surrounded by people in your class, your cca mates and not being able to really talk to them. It's not having any friends in your class even though they're literally the group of people you spend most of the time with day in, day out. It's you constantly being the one asking your secondary school friends out without anyone else ever bothering to take the initiative. Loneliness is eating alone every day by yourself whilst everyone else is doing so in groups. Or it could also be that sickening, hopeless sense of fear of missing out (FOMO) when you witness your supposedly closest pals popping up more times on the Instagram stories of others than you do. It's the blood-boiling indignance as you curse the heavens for your shitty predicament. It's seeing other people in class take photos with their friends, knowing damn well that you'd never appear in them.
...........It's spending countless nights crying yourself to sleep, wishing you'd get knocked down by a car so you won't have to feel this way anymore or staring down from the corridor outside your classroom wondering hey wouldn't it be swell if I jumped right now.
More at https://www.domainofexperts.com/2022/05/death-by-loneliness.html
