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Is ‘Stealthing’ Rape? How Sexual Assault Victims Describe ‘Nonconsensual Condom Removal’
“Stealthing” is defined as the act of removing or damaging a condom without a sex partner’s knowledge. Beyond that, though, the definition is up for debate. Is “stealthing” rape — or a form of gendered violence we don’t yet have a name for?
New York-based writer Rae Witte, 31, told IBT her experience with stealthing involved an older male partner.
“He had a condom and I thought he put it on,” she said, adding that she didn’t realize her partner wasn’t wearing a condom until after they’d had sex. “And I yelled at him. I said, ‘What is wrong with you?’” According to Witte, the man told her he committed the violation because he “wanted [Witte] to be the mother of [his] children.”
Portland-based learning and development professional Kayleen Veatch, 29, told IBT in a phone interview that she’s uncertain what to call her experience with stealthing. “When you’re already in the action, it’s hard to stop it. Especially when it’s sex that you want,” she said. She said that in conversations about the incident, a friend said she had been raped....
“Stealthing” is defined as the act of removing or damaging a condom without a sex partner’s knowledge. Beyond that, though, the definition is up for debate. Is “stealthing” rape — or a form of gendered violence we don’t yet have a name for?
New York-based writer Rae Witte, 31, told IBT her experience with stealthing involved an older male partner.
“He had a condom and I thought he put it on,” she said, adding that she didn’t realize her partner wasn’t wearing a condom until after they’d had sex. “And I yelled at him. I said, ‘What is wrong with you?’” According to Witte, the man told her he committed the violation because he “wanted [Witte] to be the mother of [his] children.”
Portland-based learning and development professional Kayleen Veatch, 29, told IBT in a phone interview that she’s uncertain what to call her experience with stealthing. “When you’re already in the action, it’s hard to stop it. Especially when it’s sex that you want,” she said. She said that in conversations about the incident, a friend said she had been raped....