<p>What's going to become of you when <em>you</em> die? No, I don't mean the afterlife (if there is one), I mean, what are they going to do with your earthly remains? Here are a few original ideas if you plan to be cremated...</p>
<p><a href="http://www.memorialspaceflights.com/">Space Services, Inc.</a> will launch a sample of your ashes into space.</p>
<p><a href="http://www.eternalascent.com/">The Eternal Ascent Society</a> will send them up attached to a helium balloon (biodegradable, of course) that will automatically pop and scatter them when it reaches 30,000 feet.</p>
<p>Or, for a more conventional last ride, <a href="http://www.airwaytoheaven.com/">Airway to Heaven</a> will dump them from an airplane, while <a href="http://www.seaservices.com/">SeaServices</a> will throw them overboard off a boat. </p>
<p><a href="http://www.eternalreefs.com/">Eternal Reefs, Inc.</a> will make you into part of an artificial reef that forms a habitat for marine life.</p>
<p><a href="http://www.heavensabovefireworks.com/index.htm">Heavens Above Fireworks</a> and <a href="http://www.angels-flight.net/">Angel's Flight</a> will blast a little bit of you up the air as part of a fireworks display.</p>
<p><a href="http://www.jewelrykeepsakes.com/">Jewelry Keepsakes.com</a> will enclose your ashes in a piece of jewelry for a loved one to wear, should any of them be so inclined. But <a href="http://www.lifegem.com/">LifeGem</a> will compress them into a synthetic diamond, letting you actually <em>become</em> a jewel.</p>
<p><a href="http://memoryglass.com/">Memory Glass</a> will put your ashes inside a handcrafted glass paperweight or pendant.</p>
<p>Or, if you prefer ceramics as a final resting place, <a href="http://www.antiquesatoz.com/artatoz/krafft/funerary.htm">Villa Delirium Delftworks</a> can make you into a a lovely hand-painted commutative portrait plate or vase of SPONE® china. Or, if your survivors are more the crafty, do-it-yourself type, the helpful folks on the CLAYART message board have provided this recipe for <a href="http://lsv.ceramics.org/scripts/wa.exe?A2=ind0308b&L=clayart&D=1&O=D&P=21854">Human Ash Glaze</a> for their handmade pottery. </p>
<p><a href="http://www.ashestoportraits.com/">Ashes to Portraits</a> can add your ashes to a special mixture of oil paint and use you to paint a portrait. </p>
<p><a href="http://www.cremationsolutions.com/6/Floramorial-c45.html?CREMATIO=dpds6vngq34p3jcsfbb1itlng1">Floramorial</a> will convert your ashes into a planting medium (a.k.a. dirt) that's loaded with nutrients and suitable for growing a wide variety of memorial plants. </p>
<p><a href="http://www.evrmemories.com/unique.htm">Everlasting Memories, Inc.</a> has a number of interesting containers to store your ashes--from a <a href="http://gallery.bcentral.com/GID5006062P4415728-Unique-Urns/Gas-Tank-Born-to-Ride-Motorcycle-Cremation-Urn-charcoal-white-flame.aspx">Harley gas tank</a> to a <a href="http://gallery.bcentral.com/GID5006062P4129940-Unique-Urns/Teddy-Bear-Urn.aspx">teddy bear</a> (custom made and dressed in your old clothes).</p>
<p>If you're a die-hard baseball fan, <a href="http://www.eternalimage.net/mlb_page.html">Eternal Images</a> has MLB-authorized urns decorated with official team colors and logos. They stand atop a home plate-shaped base and have a place to display a favorite keepsake baseball on top. Initially, they're only releasing designs featuring eight teams, so if your team isn't among them, you'll just have to hang on until they get around to making it. </p>
<p><a href="http://www.creativecremains.com/">Creative Cremains</a> can make a one-of-a-kind container for your ashes. You can spend eternity as a garden statue, or a ceramic tchotchke, or inside a bowling pin or a violin, or anything else you or your survivors can dream up, and pay for. </p>
<p>For something a little more highbrow, <a href="http://funeria.com/">Art Honors Life </a> is a new gallery that carries funerary urns, vessels and other personal memorial objects created by contemporary artists. Among the artists whose work they offer is <a href="http://www.designmuseum.org/design/nadine-jarvis">Nadine Jarvis</a>, whose works include <a href="http://www.designmuseum.org/media/item/61175/45/Nadine-Jarvis-330.jpg">Rest in Pieces</a>, a ceramic globe that holds the ashes until the biodegradable cord holding it breaks, dropping and shattering the globe and scattering the ashes; <a href="http://www.designmuseum.org/media/item/61176/45/ND-Bird-Feeder2-145.jpg">Birdfeeders</a> made of solid castings of bird food, beeswax and ash, which the birds eat and the indigestible (but harmless) ashes...well, they eventually get scattered by the birds, in the way that birds scatter what they've eaten; and pencils with lead that contains the ashes (they can make about 250 from the average person) that will let your friends and relations remember you as they write the Great American Novel, or their grocery list. Also available from Art Honors Life is the <a href="http://funeria.com/exhib_catalog2006.pdf">Urn-a-Matic</a>, a vintage vacuum cleaner that flashes home movies on a built-in screen while playing the 1970s pop song “Seasons in the Sun.”</p>
<p>Do you like how cremation is a quick, tidy, space-efficient way to dispose of your mortal remains, but you have some trouble with that burning part? <a href="http://www.promessa.se/index_en.asp">Promessa</a> has the answer: they'll freeze-dry you and vibrate you down to a hygienic, odorless powder which can then be buried in a biodegradable coffin. An optional shrub can be planted on top, making use of the excellent compost that you've become. </p>
Park yourself more often in this forum and you'll stink more than some parts of Serangoon Road!:p
