I have finally gotten divorced, and it seriously feels good

[covertbriar]

He was the perfect boyfriend before marriage. Very caring, sensitive. Would rush to pay for our meals. We talked a lot. He seemed to understand me very well. He opined that a man ought to be both he head of a household as well as disciplinarian. I wanted to break up with him on a few occasions, however he would wait below my flat at 6am to plead with me not to. He would appear very broken-hearted when I initiated breaking off.


I didn’t know that such actions were what they call “love bombing” aka “gaslighting”, or put it simply psychological manipulation. I had a few other suitors back then, so I guess he probably wanted to “triumph" over them.


Right after marriage, he became a totally different person. Zero talk. Zero communication. Kept telling me he had no money. Did zero housework. When I had enough of his stealing (of my hard-earned money) and lies and wanted to divorce, he cried and begged for forgiveness. It took me many years of resignation before I finally decided that if I didn’t want to die as his wife, I’d better divorce while I still could.


Just because I met a scammer/narcissist does not mean all men are like him. Most of my friends and sisters are happily married with sound-minded husbands. I can only say I made the wrong choice and didn’t cut my losses by leaving early.

More at https://shrtcô.de/3NAkLq

 

[sweetiepie]

Seriouslee feel good ? My uncle think after sometime jibye or lanjiao will itchee again lor

 

[glockman]

Very happy for her. It's always better to be alone than to be with a fucked up person. Having said that, since she is available now, is she chio?

 

[blackmondy]

Very happy for her. It's always better to be alone than to be with a fucked up person. Having said that, since she is available now, is she chio?

Bro you beat me to it this time. I was gonna ask that same question....

 

[laksaboy]

Silly woman, here is something for educating yourself.

 

[syed putra]

Why did the guy try so hard to marry thus woman?

 

[red amoeba]

Divorce liao but pussy needs servicing. Ps send photo so that we can assess who is best bro to help.

 

[syed putra]

Divorce liao but pussy needs servicing. Ps send photo so that we can assess who is best bro to help.

That will be easy once you are divorce. No more guilty conscience. Plus not pressured into long term relationship. Every night can be anyone she chooses.

 

[NanoRay]

I wanted to break up with him on a few occasions, however he would wait below my flat at 6am to plead with me not to. He would appear very broken-hearted when I initiated breaking off.

I didn’t know that such actions were what they call “love bombing” aka “gaslighting”, or put it simply psychological manipulation. I had a few other suitors back then, so I guess he probably wanted to “triumph" over them.

It was neither love bombing nor gaslighting.

He was merely appealing to a typical woman's desire to control a man. If a woman feels that she is able to control the man, she feels that she has control of the relationship. This is the No. 1 "feel good factor" that a woman derives from a relationship, and has always been most women's priority when it comes to selecting a man for marriage.

By appearing weak before a woman, he gives power and control to the woman in exchange for the woman's emotion. And when he gives power and control to the woman, naturally he takes a back seat in the relationship and becomes dependent on the woman. At the beginning of the relationship, the woman feels good about the man's dependency on her. The power and control + dependency offer the illusion of love to many women.

The character of the man was never part of the consideration when the woman was selecting a man for marriage. It wasn't because the man was hiding his true character, as the woman would now have us believe. The priority was always "power and control". However, when the novelty of power and control wears off, and dependency becomes lazy and lackadaisical, the woman suddenly remembers that the man has a fuck-up character.

I bet to my last dollar that the guy in question is younger than the woman. It's only when a man is younger than a woman that he can be shameless even he is appearing (as) shameful.

The woman deserves what she gets.

 

[blackmondy]

Is the woman a new member here, I wonder.....?

 

[syed putra]

Divorce liao but pussy needs servicing. Ps send photo so that we can assess who is best bro to help.

She can ask for food deliveries. Deliveroos have vast experience handling this type.

 

[JOKERCHEW]

Very happy for her. It's always better to be alone than to be with a fucked up person. Having said that, since she is available now, is she chio?

She is damn Chio and horny.
She is well endowed and sexy.

Pay me $69K and I will not only give her number, but also her address.

Mr. Jho Low, $69K is peanuts to you.

 

[JOKERCHEW]

Seriouslee feel good ? My uncle think after sometime jibye or lanjiao will itchee again lor

WTFF

If itchy, she can go clubbing, sit at bar counter and Buayas like @glockman and @strawberry will be swarming over.

 

[Loofydralb]

Guys lik

Silly woman, here is something for educating yourself.

Guys like @porcaputtana @JohnTan looks like psychopathic if I understand this Dr correctly.

 

[Balls2U]

Bro you beat me to it this time. I was gonna ask that same question....

The writer's name is Ashley Wu. There are a few Ashley Wu on Facebook. Try to guess who is the one.

 

[blackmondy]

The writer's name is Ashley Wu. There are a few Ashley Wu on Facebook. Try to guess who is the one.

Must be the chio-est one.

 

[Balls2U]

Must be the chio-est one.

https://mothership.sg/2017/07/thank...-is-spores-most-famous-public-transport-user/

 

[Willamshakespear]

It was neither love bombing nor gaslighting.

He was merely appealing to a typical woman's desire to control a man. If a woman feels that she is able to control the man, she feels that she has control of the relationship. This is the No. 1 "feel good factor" that a woman derives from a relationship, and has always been most women's priority when it comes to selecting a man for marriage.

By appearing weak before a woman, he gives power and control to the woman in exchange for the woman's emotion. And when he gives power and control to the woman, naturally he takes a back seat in the relationship and becomes dependent on the woman. At the beginning of the relationship, the woman feels good about the man's dependency on her. The power and control + dependency offer the illusion of love to many women.

The character of the man was never part of the consideration when the woman was selecting a man for marriage. It wasn't because the man was hiding his true character, as the woman would now have us believe. The priority was always "power and control". However, when the novelty of power and control wears off, and dependency becomes lazy and lackadaisical, the woman suddenly remembers that the man has a fuck-up character.

I bet to my last dollar that the guy in question is younger than the woman. It's only when a man is younger than a woman that he can be shameless even he is appearing (as) shameful.

The woman deserves what she gets.

As this site is about sharing concerns, I mean you no offense intended, although I dispute your hypothesis on CONTROL by women & its attended misconceptions.

The insignificant nobody me once met a well established & rich local Indian trader at a hi end country club, of which I was not a member, nor ever will be, or even want to be, but only because of work requirements. As the small talk & biz end was sorted out amicably, & he got comfortable with me, I joked about his drinking, or the lack of it, considering that Indians were known to be great drinkers. He took no offense, laughed at me, & told me that he could out-drink any Chinese during his heydays while young, & then started to share his life history to me.

He told me that he worked as a salesman once he got his 'O' levels, & managed to work his way up thru good performance. Being an Indian, his marriage was arranged by his parents. He did grow to love his wife, a simple but good woman who took care of his needs, & even give him 3 handsome sons & 2 beautiful girls. He was a good father, provided for his kids, but the inane nature of drinking did not left him. He would spent most of his salary on drinking, even till 6am on his off days, come home drunk & care not about house chores, & left it to his wife to resolve. His wife did all she could, but it is not easy with 5 kids, with household & education needs, & dealing with in-laws , & none to listen to her woes. She finally broke down, but fortunately, he did love his wife, & finally listened, even while drunk, & attempted to find solutions.

Understanding the situation, he did listen, as he did love her & his kids, & cut down on his drinking which could average more than a thousand dollars a month which would had been better spent helping his family for household & kids needs. His wife is not a nobody, but grew up in Singapore & face conditions as a minority race that others did not, but instead of harboring resentments, she learnt from them, on the opportunities that was meant for every citizen. He allowed her to take control of the family & followed her advises. He did his best to give up on drinking, saving substantial funds for the family, worked harder & save much money thru his wife's management where every cent counts. In time, the family's savings grew, he quit his job & using the savings to start an import/export firm, & eventually, he succeeded not just in his job, but with his family, as each of his kids got a degree from NUS & are helping his company to expand Worldwide.

But he was firm to me, that he owed his success to his wife, & admitted that if it was not his wife CONTROL - his PARTNER in the journey & relationship of LIFE, he would never had his success today, & probably an all out jiak liao bee drunk beside the road every nite, with every cent he can beg for the day with his culturally known lust for liquor. ( Pardon me for this as I meant no offense, as there may be deeper issues than on surface level why Indians are such capable drinkers.)

My point is NOT about women being better CONTROL in a relationship, as I had seen both male & females failing, & those whom succeeded, in a partnership of life called Marriage. My point is about communications, to discuss openly, the facts, the needs, & giving each other - husband or wife-a chance at a path & direction of life, to see the changes, to admit & correct mistakes, for the SUSTAINABLITY of a shared relationship for life, regardless of whoever is in control.

 

[eatshitndie]

As this site is about sharing concerns, I mean you no offense intended, although I dispute your hypothesis on CONTROL by women & its attended misconceptions.

The insignificant nobody me once met a well established & rich local Indian trader at a hi end country club, of which I was not a member, nor ever will be, or even want to be, but only because of work requirements. As the small talk & biz end was sorted out amicably, & he got comfortable with me, I joked about his drinking, or the lack of it, considering that Indians were known to be great drinkers. He took no offense, laughed at me, & told me that he could out-drink any Chinese during his heydays while young, & then started to share his life history to me.

He told me that he worked as a salesman once he got his 'O' levels, & managed to work his way up thru good performance. Being an Indian, his marriage was arranged by his parents. He did grow to love his wife, a simple but good woman who took care of his needs, & even give him 3 handsome sons & 2 beautiful girls. He was a good father, provided for his kids, but the inane nature of drinking did not left him. He would spent most of his salary on drinking, even till 6am on his off days, come home drunk & care not about house chores, & left it to his wife to resolve. His wife did all she could, but it is not easy with 5 kids, with household & education needs, & dealing with in-laws , & none to listen to her woes. She finally broke down, but fortunately, he did love his wife, & finally listened, even while drunk, & attempted to find solutions.

Understanding the situation, he did listen, as he did love her & his kids, & cut down on his drinking which could average more than a thousand dollars a month which would had been better spent helping his family for household & kids needs. His wife is not a nobody, but grew up in Singapore & face conditions as a minority race that others did not, but instead of harboring resentments, she learnt from them, on the opportunities that was meant for every citizen. He allowed her to take control of the family & followed her advises. He did his best to give up on drinking, saving substantial funds for the family, worked harder & save much money thru his wife's management where every cent counts. In time, the family's savings grew, he quit his job & using the savings to start an import/export firm, & eventually, he succeeded not just in his job, but with his family, as each of his kids got a degree from NUS & are helping his company to expand Worldwide.

But he was firm to me, that he owed his success to his wife, & admitted that if it was not his wife CONTROL - his PARTNER in the journey & relationship of LIFE, he would never had his success today, & probably an all out jiak liao bee drunk beside the road every nite, with every cent he can beg for the day with his culturally known lust for liquor. ( Pardon me for this as I meant no offense, as there may be deeper issues than on surface level why Indians are such capable drinkers.)

My point is NOT about women being better CONTROL in a relationship, as I had seen both male & females failing, & those whom succeeded, in a partnership of life called Marriage. My point is about communications, to discuss openly, the facts, the needs, & giving each other - husband or wife-a chance at a path & direction of life, to see the changes, to admit & correct mistakes, for the SUSTAINABLITY of a shared relationship for life, regardless of whoever is in control.

“advises” should be “advice” when used as a noun, and there’s no “advices” in plural form.

 

[Willamshakespear]

“advises” should be “advice” when used as a noun, and there’s no “advices” in plural form.

Thank you Sir, & those whom supported your post, for the correction of my grammatical mistakes.

The insignificant nobody me shall endeavor to do better to improve my Queen's english, of which all Spore citizens need no longer bow to or speak with a stiff upper lip. As long as the meaning & structure is there in reply to another, it will be understooded...oops, understood, the way Americans & rest of the World had mangled the English lingo which is highly versatile, for trade & survival.

It's not easy to post with the limited time I sadly have. My sincere apologies.