I’ve gone off sex since our child was born, and fear this will hurt our marriage

I forgotten about this.
Boss sam told us about it.
The 'P' shot for men
The 'o' shot for women

The O-Shot: Why Moms Are Loving Orgasm Injections​


After a friend told me she got an orgasm shot at her doctor's office, I had to find out more about the procedure said to be boosting women's sex drive.

What is the O-Shot?

An O-Shot promises to be a non-surgical way to increase sexual arousal and rejuvenate the vagina. (I'm not kidding.) In fact, O-Shot is short for Orgasm Shot.
Charles Runels, M.D., an internist, medical researcher, and former chemist from Alabama, came up with the idea in 2011. One day he and his girlfriend were discussing whether or not the same procedure he'd done to tighten and rejuvenate the skin on her face (the Vampire Facelift) might help her “down there” too. That discussion, and the frequent conversations with female patients that were frustrated with their sub-par sex life, led to his creation of the O-Shot procedure.

“Women really need more scientific solutions,” says Dr. Runels. “The time of counseling, KY Jelly, and a vibrator is over. Those things may still help...but we had that decades ago and unfortunately that’s all most women are still being offered.”
The O-Shot treatment uses platelet-rich plasma (PRP), which is a concentration of a patient's platelets. The activated platelets are injected into the vaginal and clitoral area to stimulate new cell growth. O-Shots are performed by a physician who has undergone training by Dr. Runels to administer one.




And do they hurt? Ida Rastegar, M.D., an OB-GYN affiliated with the Colorado-based Rinnova Skin and Body, has had the shot herself and says there is little to no pain. "The injection is given after topical numbing, so the main discomfort is due to anxiety from the needle rather than the injection itself," she says.
Jennifer Hayes, D.O., an OB-GYN at the Florida-based Visionary Centre for Women, who frequently gives it to patients and has had one done, agrees. “I use powerful numbing creme to make the procedure painless,” she says.

Though moms in their 40s are a big audience for the shot, it’s not limited to that age group. The O-Shot is available to women as early as 18. “Sexual dysfunction can start at any age,” says Dr. Rastegar. “It’s more based on symptoms than age.”

Does it work? The O-Shot Reviews

After several weeks of regrowth, women have reported increases in sexual pleasure. "My orgasms are better, longer, and honestly, I can't get enough of my husband," my friend who is a mom of two told me. "I can't recommend it enough."
Dr. Rastegar attests to the positives. "The benefits of having this treatment include increased sexual desire, greater arousal from clitoral stimulation, and a number of changes in orgasm including stronger, more frequent orgasms, and an increased ability to have orgasms," she says.
Some women are also getting the shot to help with health concerns, such as painful intercourse and urinary incontinence. When combined with laser vaginal therapy, the results are said to help with moms dealing with incontinence related to stress.

The downside? The O-Shot Cost

One shot is expected to last about a year and isn't too cheap. The cost ranges from about $500-$1,800 a shot and isn’t covered by insurance.
More importantly, no procedure is risk-free. “There are some rare complications since a needle is being used, such as infection, granuloma, urethral injury, or nerve damage, which I have never seen,” says Dr. Rastegar. One might experience spotting, hypersexuality, or no effect at all.
The O-Shot also isn’t FDA approved. And other experts aren’t convinced by it. “There has not been enough data to support the success of the O-Shot,” says George Shashoua, M.D., an OB-GYN at the Austin Labiaplasty and Vaginal Rejuvenation in Austin, Texas. “We perform surgeries (at my clinic) in the same areas in which the PRP injections are placed. From a healing standpoint, your body will naturally send growth and healing factors to these areas postoperatively and we do not see increased orgasms or long-term incontinence resolution post-procedure."
Jennifer Gunter, M.D., an OB-GYN and author of The Vagina Bible, has also been vocal about her disapproval of the O-Shot. “There are no studies in indexed, peer-reviewed literature looking at injecting platelet-rich plasma into the vagina or clitoris to improve sexual satisfaction,” she writes in a post on her website.
I know the shot, in theory, could be a well-deserved reward after all the juggling we do as moms. I was also a bit envious of the glow on my friend's face while she was sharing her experience. Yet, I'm not sure if I'm convinced enough to ever get the procedure done, but I will admit it is intriguing
 
The husband to visit my other forum for a wealth of information regarding alternative sources of sexual gratification. There is no need to depend 100% on ones wife for sex in this day and age. There are many, many other options.
Double standards.

If money is an issue. I doubt men will be treated fairly. Imagine they say that men work so hard to pay off loans. No money to eat or give allowance.

I wonder what will they bitch about.

If men married for companionship. They could get a dog.

My ex wife was with me when I broke. Then when I was well to do. I understand. But when we go back to zero...

Fark. I'm going to be single and did alone
 
No such problem with M&D. If the wife is unable to perform ... there are always alternative ... daughters, sisters, mothers ....

Race and IQ
national-iq-scores.jpg
 
Women need the 'o' shot to get them excited with sex again after childbirth.

Is something bothering you? Do you need a listening ear or a shoulder to lean on? Thelma is here to help. Email [email protected] or write to Dear Thelma, c/o StarLifestyle, Menara Star, 15, Jalan 16/11,46350 Petaling Jaya, Selangor.
Please include your full name, address and a pseudonym. No private correspondence will be entertained.
The Star does not give any warranty on accuracy, completeness, usefulness, fitness for any particular purpose or other assurances as to the opinions and views expressed in this column.
The Star disclaims all responsibility for any losses suffered directly or indirectly arising from reliance on such opinions and views.
Those suffering from mental health issues or contemplating suicide can reach out to the Mental Health Psychosocial Support Service (03-2935 9935/ 014-322 3392); Talian Kasih (15999/ 019-261 5999 on WhatsApp); Jakim’s (Department of Islamic Development Malaysia) family, social and community care centre (0111-959 8214 on WhatsApp); and Befrienders Kuala Lumpur (03-7627 2929 or go to The Befrienders for a full list of numbers nationwide and operating hours, or email [email protected]).


Dear Thelma,

I’m a lost man in my late 30s with a very young kid and an infant. I have a dull relationship with my wife; it is mutually agreed that we no longer have any noticeable love or feelings for each other but just a legal marriage status on paper.

We haven’t even been intimate much in the past few years, even before our first kid was born. And if it happens, it’s probably a need that arose from me, and a sense of obligation from her, and it’s a quick one, nothing like those days when we were dating.



It doesn’t help that I’m working overseas at a place my wife grew up in. Hence, she has her circle of close childhood friends, family and relatives, but I only have her with literally zero close friends that I can meet when I need to.

To make things worse, I also find it hard to make new friends in the current work-centric environment.

I can’t help but feel helpless and bored as I have no friends or love but am all by myself apart from my kids whom I love very much. Even worse so during this pandemic where I can’t return home to see my own family and friends for two to three years now.


Since the pandemic, I tried to take some courses and spend more time to bond with my kids whom I cherish. The courses made me stressed. The kids’ love is great as it is the only place I find love. But something is missing. I’m not sure if it’s because of these, but I don’t feel love at home so I started seeking excitement outside to spice up my life.

I managed to find a few partners but felt guilty and I believe it’s cheating. Knowing I have a family and responsibilities as a father yet I lied to get to know new female friends, but I had to hide my marital status or I’d never be able to get to know someone new.

Only with this, I get to feel the intimacy that I have long lost and yearned for.



STARPICKS

Nurturing purpose-driven women leaders in STEM

Also through these, I can build close rapport with them and share my career ambitions, stress and work politics in my professional career, leisure activities and sports, gastronomic and globetrotting experiences with them – something which is long missing from my wife apart from gastronomic experiences, not without the kids.

I wouldn’t get to share these and release my stress, feelings, or libido had I told any of them about my marital status.But deep within me I felt bad. I struggled to hide my status and had to cheat about who I live with, where I am from, and other stuff.

Sometimes I may fall for them or indirectly cause them to fall for me due to our intimate relationship. I two- or triple-timed occasionally. In the end, I had to hurt them or went ghosting when I realised we were getting in too deep or when I knew I would be exposed. I wanted to avoid further trouble and continue to seek new friends.

These friends are just my companions (whether sexual or not), friends with benefits/ no strings attached, or even girlfriend if they wish, all without them knowing my status.

I blame all this on my dull marriage, stressful career, heavy family commitment in terms of finance and care required for kids, and also a society that hardly accepts married men as new close friends.

I don’t wish to divorce my wife or break up my family with my lovable kids and for financial reasons. I’m thinking of forever doing this hiding of new girlfriends and stick to my family but not sure if it’s feasible in the long run as I grow older.

I don’t like my current lifestyle as I have to hide and live in worry of exposure, lack of close friends to have heart-to-heart talks, lack of adrenaline rush like intimacy and cuddles to relieve and spice up my boring sex life.

But am I right? I’m confused if I myself am at fault but am I to blame? How can I approach this for the good of my kids and myself? Am I selfish?

My wife is busy enough with the kids. She doesn’t really need sex or love from me as she complained I suck at it.

Lost Man



Marriage doesn’t always work out, especially cross-cultural relationships where you move abroad. However, you chose to cheat.

You don’t say if your wife has agreed to your affairs. However, you lie to your partners. They think they have a relationship with a single man. You trick them into investing in a relationship that can only end in heartache.

This is selfish and it is why you feel terrible. It is your conscience telling you that you are behaving badly.

Therefore, I strongly suggest you pull yourself together and start living an honest life.

You have three main problems: you don’t enjoy your marriage; you are not happy living abroad; you believe your career to be stressful.

These are all common issues, which is a comfort because it means you will be able to get lots of input.

As you are a parent, your kids need to come first. Your youngest is an infant, so you have to be an active dad until they are adults. That means working with your wife and both your extended families.

It does not mean you need to continue in the relationship as it is.

You say money is the reason you don’t want to divorce. Consider that income is variable and that costs change over time, too. A financial plan will help determine what you can do and when.

But I suggest you start with deciding an end goal. What exactly do you want for yourself in five years’ time when the kids are at school for much of the day? And when the kids are grown, where do you want to be?

As they’re growing up, do you want a separation and to live a single life? Or do you see yourself finding a more compatible partner?

If you were free to date, would you stay in that country or do you want to go home? Would a career change help?

As for the kids, do you want them to grow up in one country or two? Where are the schools better, and do they have support systems?

Lay out all the options, and see what you want. Then talk it all over with your wife. She will need to think about her options too, asking the same questions.

Whatever you do, the plan will have to be adapted as your kids grow up. That can be a boon, as it means easing out of this life and into a new one. You can learn along the way what works best.

For example, you may start with separate bedrooms and leading open but separate lives as you both parent your baby and toddler.

You can separate your finances slowly, and build up independent lives as you go along. Then, when the kids go to school, you might move to your own place and share custody down the middle.

Some couples separate but stay married while the kids are underage. You might also stay together for now but work up to a point where you divorce.

Ideally, you work out a plan that will suit you both. If you think you will argue, hire a mediator or a couples counsellor.

Normally, I’d suggest legal advice too. However, as you are from different countries, figuring out what laws and rights apply can be complicated and very expensive.

To be practical, I urge you to be sensible. Put the kids first, and make a pact with your wife that you two are kind to each other.

Try to get through this as lightly as you can. Aim for an agreement that you’ve reached in good faith, and that is as fair as possible to you all.

Give a little, take a little, and above all, make sure the kids are as happy and settled as possible. When you do the right thing, you will feel better about yourself as well.

Good luck, and let me know how it goes. I’ll be thinking of you all.
 
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