- Joined
- Aug 20, 2022
- Messages
- 19,083
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https://m.facebook.com/story.php?st...QZ9fLsjNdMvaYGipdoaKxrX7Ql&id=100044171602594
Dear Brother Chan Fong,
I’ve been thinking for a long time and I really don’t know who to talk to. I don’t have friends or family around me. Even though I have a boyfriend, it doesn’t feel like I do. I really feel lost.
A few years ago, I left my hometown alone and came to Kuala Lumpur to work. I’ve never had a good relationship with my family, especially my mother who has always shown favoritism to my elder brother. I’ve always been the one who gives but is never seen in a good light by her. My childhood was filled with beatings and cold, harsh words. Even now, when I’m alone and think about it, I still cry. I hold a lot of resentment because such a childhood made me extremely guarded toward people around me, always thinking no one is truly genuine. Whether it’s in work, love, or friendships, I feel exhausted. I’ve forgotten what happiness feels like. People think I’m weird, very cold. I eat lunch alone and don’t want to interact with anyone. Since leaving my hometown, I’ve lost contact even with the one or two good friends I used to have. My siblings and I are almost completely out of touch, only saying a few words when I go back every few months.
Here, I met a man on a dating app who is 10 years older than me. He is sincere and hardworking. We’ve been together for two years. He even bought a house so that I no longer have to rent, giving me a sense of security. I know he is serious about me and wants to spend his life with me.
But what really bothers me is that he is really bad when it comes to sex — every time it’s over in a few minutes. I became so frustrated that he eventually admitted his problem. He has seen a doctor and relied on medication, but even now, after all this time together, the problem remains. Gradually, I’ve become very indifferent to this relationship. We sleep on the same bed but always with our backs to each other. It’s been over a month without any intimacy and he seems to think that’s perfectly normal — he never initiates anything. I often wonder, I’m still young, do I really want to live without sex for the rest of my life? But then I think about how he bought this house so I could live comfortably — it feels too cruel to leave him.
Now, even though we’re under the same roof, I find everything he says and does irritating. I don’t want to talk to him at all. Slowly, I’ve started turning to dating apps again, hoping to find someone I can really talk to. I want to leave this city, but I don’t know where to go. Going back to my hometown? I don’t want to see my family. I don’t even know what I should do. I just feel so unhappy. Every day, I go home and face the wall with no one to talk to.
— Ying
Dear Brother Chan Fong,
I’ve been thinking for a long time and I really don’t know who to talk to. I don’t have friends or family around me. Even though I have a boyfriend, it doesn’t feel like I do. I really feel lost.
A few years ago, I left my hometown alone and came to Kuala Lumpur to work. I’ve never had a good relationship with my family, especially my mother who has always shown favoritism to my elder brother. I’ve always been the one who gives but is never seen in a good light by her. My childhood was filled with beatings and cold, harsh words. Even now, when I’m alone and think about it, I still cry. I hold a lot of resentment because such a childhood made me extremely guarded toward people around me, always thinking no one is truly genuine. Whether it’s in work, love, or friendships, I feel exhausted. I’ve forgotten what happiness feels like. People think I’m weird, very cold. I eat lunch alone and don’t want to interact with anyone. Since leaving my hometown, I’ve lost contact even with the one or two good friends I used to have. My siblings and I are almost completely out of touch, only saying a few words when I go back every few months.
Here, I met a man on a dating app who is 10 years older than me. He is sincere and hardworking. We’ve been together for two years. He even bought a house so that I no longer have to rent, giving me a sense of security. I know he is serious about me and wants to spend his life with me.
But what really bothers me is that he is really bad when it comes to sex — every time it’s over in a few minutes. I became so frustrated that he eventually admitted his problem. He has seen a doctor and relied on medication, but even now, after all this time together, the problem remains. Gradually, I’ve become very indifferent to this relationship. We sleep on the same bed but always with our backs to each other. It’s been over a month without any intimacy and he seems to think that’s perfectly normal — he never initiates anything. I often wonder, I’m still young, do I really want to live without sex for the rest of my life? But then I think about how he bought this house so I could live comfortably — it feels too cruel to leave him.
Now, even though we’re under the same roof, I find everything he says and does irritating. I don’t want to talk to him at all. Slowly, I’ve started turning to dating apps again, hoping to find someone I can really talk to. I want to leave this city, but I don’t know where to go. Going back to my hometown? I don’t want to see my family. I don’t even know what I should do. I just feel so unhappy. Every day, I go home and face the wall with no one to talk to.
— Ying
