We all have ways to cope with anxiety and/or depression but this year has been really different because of this pandemic. This particular page in our forum is keeping us aware of suicide and how it was not the best answer for getting away. So tell me, if you're having anxiety or depression, how are you coping with it? Feel free to share your thoughts.
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How do you deal with anxiety or depression?
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Use to have open train tracks. Not anymore
For me I will have a good cry until I fall asleep the next day I feel better.
afew days later I do the same thing that is the only way I cope my sadness and depression and as for anxiety i cannot do anything whenever my asshole manager call me to the meeting room my heart beat beat very fast and i damm panic thinking what did I do wrong!!!!! Most of the time there no problem or very small issue he just want to tekan me. All this when I was in Singapore.
To cure the above I migrated out of Singapore for good and I got no more depression or anxiety now for the past 10 years everyday is a blessing!!!! I wake up smiling!!!
I'm so happy for you for getting past your experience with your previous boss. No matter what we do, there will always be one person who will introduce stress to our life, and the best thing to do, I believe, is to get yourself out of their reach before it get's worse.
I was very stupid after 2 years working in that horrible company I should find another job a resigned!
One of old colleagues of mine who I respect him like a father to me told me because we low educated everywhere we go we be treated the same way maybe worst if i go to another company! In a way it is very true because all those work places I worked for there are local sgrean they are all the same backstabbing and toxic working environment!
After 10 years working in that company I had enough I quit without a job and my manager ask me with a sacastic smile “u have to pay your loan to the company before u leave ( I took $10k for my hdb renovation from the company) and he also told me if i resigned I can never able to come back!
I can see how local sgrean (majority of them) are so black hearted!!!
And trust me it is not easy for a malay to find another job because many wants mandarin speaking.
After more then 6 months I found a job working in a finance company where majority are foreigners and more of the top people are foreigners they treat me far better then local!!!
Because of this I advice my own brother if he experienced the same shit working with local sgrean he should look for another job where majority are foreigners in a company and he listens to me and now he is very happy!
And my best advice to him is to migrate out of Singapore and now he is waiting there a opportunity for him in Australia
@amransan Glad, you took your colleague's advice! And I'm very happy how it turned really well for you and your brother. I dream of working in Australia so I hope for your brother to have that opportunity soon maybe after this pandemic.
I've stumbled on this page in hopes of finding some tips to better manage my anxiety. I'll be glad to leave it here for everyone to take time and read. https://www.helpguide.org/articles/anxiety/coronavirus-anxiety.htm
I've stumbled on this page in hopes of finding some tips to better manage my anxiety. I'll be glad to leave it here for everyone to take time and read. https://www.helpguide.org/articles/anxiety/coronavirus-anxiety.htm
I've had some bouts of depression, even losing a job over it. At that time, I ended up going to a psychologist and getting some drugs to help me get out of it. Since then, I've learned to identify the symptoms much earlier before I start to spiral down the hole of hopelessness.
My form of depression tends to take the form that in a task I don't really want to do, every tiny speedbump seems like a mountain. So I procrastinate the task, feel guilty about it, and then spiral into a state where I can't accomplish anything. When I do see this happening, I've found that the best approach is to acknowledge it, point out to myself that there isn't anyone else who is going to do this task, and I visualize the time when this task is complete and how much better that will feel.
My form of depression tends to take the form that in a task I don't really want to do, every tiny speedbump seems like a mountain. So I procrastinate the task, feel guilty about it, and then spiral into a state where I can't accomplish anything. When I do see this happening, I've found that the best approach is to acknowledge it, point out to myself that there isn't anyone else who is going to do this task, and I visualize the time when this task is complete and how much better that will feel.
Thanks for sharing your own battles @flushroses. Glad you've found a way out of your depression and I thought I should give it a try too.
You're welcome. How are you doing now? I hope you are feeling better now while you celebrate the New Year!
I really appreciate your concern, I do had fun this New Year's eve! I facetime with my parents the whole night while I celebrate the New Year on my friend's place (as I live alone). How about you? I hope you also had a great New Year with your family or friends.You're welcome. How are you doing now? I hope you are feeling better now while you celebrate the New Year!
Suicide: Let’s Start with #howru
When I was in Year 4, a friend extremely dear to me became increasingly distant and intentionally so. She avoided messages, shunned company and often gave cold responses to our attempts at a conversation. The hurt was real, for us (her friends) and for her. Eventually, we decided to give her the space she fought with us for – we called her out to the movies less, spent less time with her in class and let time ease the detachment. On a fateful afternoon that I still remember vividly, I had just caught “Finding Nemo in 3D” at the Cathay Cineleisure theatres with a friend. We were laughing, arms linked and I had an empty popcorn box in the other hand. The high we were in dropped to an immediate low when we found almost 50 unread messages on each of our phones from our friend. The multiple messages said the same thing – “I’m so sorry”. Our hearts dropped. The frantic hours that followed; calling everyone we knew could have been in contact with her, crying, the sense of loss and regret, and more crying are all fuzzy memories for us today. Perhaps, the height of fear so traumatic that the mind has buried it deep in our subconscious for self-care.
Thankfully, this friend remains a good one today, closer than many others and this episode is still etched in our hearts. The close shave with death and the one choice that almost made all the difference though, is one that I am familiar with. In my years in the Raffles Program, I have heard about or known of at least one suicide in every two years. Even upon graduation, heartbreaking news as such continue to spread across the school population like wildfire. While the following anecdotes are drawn from the school context, though, I wish to qualify that this trend is observed nationwide and is in no way, unique to the Rafflesian context though one might be tempted to draw flawed causal relations so as to detach oneself from the fear-inducing reality that suicide is a choice that anyone has the power to make. This morning, it is pouring heavily outside and the bus inches forward as if intentionally buying me time to think. This piece is on the suicides we don’t talk about enough and the lessons we are learning, but a little too slowly.
The Art of Thinking Clearly by Rolf Dobelli introduces the Confirmation Bias within the first 5 chapters and labels it the “father of all fallacies” and the “mother of cognitive biases”. The Confirmation Bias is the tendency to selectively intake information to support existing theories and perceived patterns we have identified. It is our means of protecting our minds from the complexity of this world we live in and it helps us make sense of our everyday stimulus. It is dangerous though, to apply it in some occasions. In Year 2, when I heard of the first suicide in school, it was my first encounter with such news. Naturally, I formulated the belief that such incidents were singular and anomalous – how else could we explain the hundreds of others going through similar phases in life who choose otherwise and live on to the next day? How else might I rationalize this terrifying choice that the individual had made? An exception, it had to be.
In the growing up years, news of suicides spread more often than rumours of depression. The surprise that follows the knowledge of the suicide is accompanied by statements like, “Wow, no one could tell.” Or “Who knew?” and “We could never have seen that coming.” Never. In RGS, the culture of giving, the ‘tradition’ of sending encouraging messages around whenever an exam was near and the kindness initiatives by the Peer Support Board led me to be puzzled about how an environment like this could allow the incubation of suicidal thoughts. I continued to affirm my belief that these incidents were anecdotal so as not to confront the alarming paradox. Then, in RI, we are so often told to be thankful for our privilege, taught by the public that expression of negative emotions is an indication of weakness or a lack of gratitude. We are convinced that our material possessions or tangible achievements are the only valuable assets and there is nothing more we could ask for – our understanding of value is warped thereon.
What you teach is what you get. Our haste in pointing fingers at the flaws from within the school are oblivious to the fact that we are all part of the picture that completes the reality for students within – newspaper articles that blow up anecdotes and draw inaccurate causal relations between these incidents with “being in an elite school”, relatives who say “you’re from Raffles, can one lah” or worse, those who transform the very identity of being a Rafflesian into a label synonymous with expectations of achieving – the blessing and the curse of being in the institution is the result of these external factors beyond the school’s control. The lack of empathy embedded in this culture that goes beyond the four walls of the institution has silenced the unhappiness and concealed the symptoms. “Good,” is the only acceptable answer to “How are you?”
In my final months in Junior College, I struggled a lot with insomnia. There were countless of sleepless nights, heart thumping episodes and indescribable anxiety. It was in the company of a close friend that I visited our school counsellor for the first time. Following which, the visits were followed up with messages that showed consistent and reliable support from the counsellor and comfort from the knowledge that I could always seek help where I needed. Friends who knew I had seen the counsellor also showered me with hugs and daily words of affirmation. With the benefit of hindsight, I could reaffirm my decision to visit him. Admittedly though, there was hesitation before letting anyone know that I was going to the counsellor at that point. It was as if I would be admitting to something being very wrong with me; some kind of problem I couldn’t resolve. I silenced myself for fear of judgment.
A lot more at https://www.domainofexperts.com/2016/09/suicide-lets-start-with-howru.html
When I was in Year 4, a friend extremely dear to me became increasingly distant and intentionally so. She avoided messages, shunned company and often gave cold responses to our attempts at a conversation. The hurt was real, for us (her friends) and for her. Eventually, we decided to give her the space she fought with us for – we called her out to the movies less, spent less time with her in class and let time ease the detachment. On a fateful afternoon that I still remember vividly, I had just caught “Finding Nemo in 3D” at the Cathay Cineleisure theatres with a friend. We were laughing, arms linked and I had an empty popcorn box in the other hand. The high we were in dropped to an immediate low when we found almost 50 unread messages on each of our phones from our friend. The multiple messages said the same thing – “I’m so sorry”. Our hearts dropped. The frantic hours that followed; calling everyone we knew could have been in contact with her, crying, the sense of loss and regret, and more crying are all fuzzy memories for us today. Perhaps, the height of fear so traumatic that the mind has buried it deep in our subconscious for self-care.
Thankfully, this friend remains a good one today, closer than many others and this episode is still etched in our hearts. The close shave with death and the one choice that almost made all the difference though, is one that I am familiar with. In my years in the Raffles Program, I have heard about or known of at least one suicide in every two years. Even upon graduation, heartbreaking news as such continue to spread across the school population like wildfire. While the following anecdotes are drawn from the school context, though, I wish to qualify that this trend is observed nationwide and is in no way, unique to the Rafflesian context though one might be tempted to draw flawed causal relations so as to detach oneself from the fear-inducing reality that suicide is a choice that anyone has the power to make. This morning, it is pouring heavily outside and the bus inches forward as if intentionally buying me time to think. This piece is on the suicides we don’t talk about enough and the lessons we are learning, but a little too slowly.
The Art of Thinking Clearly by Rolf Dobelli introduces the Confirmation Bias within the first 5 chapters and labels it the “father of all fallacies” and the “mother of cognitive biases”. The Confirmation Bias is the tendency to selectively intake information to support existing theories and perceived patterns we have identified. It is our means of protecting our minds from the complexity of this world we live in and it helps us make sense of our everyday stimulus. It is dangerous though, to apply it in some occasions. In Year 2, when I heard of the first suicide in school, it was my first encounter with such news. Naturally, I formulated the belief that such incidents were singular and anomalous – how else could we explain the hundreds of others going through similar phases in life who choose otherwise and live on to the next day? How else might I rationalize this terrifying choice that the individual had made? An exception, it had to be.
In the growing up years, news of suicides spread more often than rumours of depression. The surprise that follows the knowledge of the suicide is accompanied by statements like, “Wow, no one could tell.” Or “Who knew?” and “We could never have seen that coming.” Never. In RGS, the culture of giving, the ‘tradition’ of sending encouraging messages around whenever an exam was near and the kindness initiatives by the Peer Support Board led me to be puzzled about how an environment like this could allow the incubation of suicidal thoughts. I continued to affirm my belief that these incidents were anecdotal so as not to confront the alarming paradox. Then, in RI, we are so often told to be thankful for our privilege, taught by the public that expression of negative emotions is an indication of weakness or a lack of gratitude. We are convinced that our material possessions or tangible achievements are the only valuable assets and there is nothing more we could ask for – our understanding of value is warped thereon.
What you teach is what you get. Our haste in pointing fingers at the flaws from within the school are oblivious to the fact that we are all part of the picture that completes the reality for students within – newspaper articles that blow up anecdotes and draw inaccurate causal relations between these incidents with “being in an elite school”, relatives who say “you’re from Raffles, can one lah” or worse, those who transform the very identity of being a Rafflesian into a label synonymous with expectations of achieving – the blessing and the curse of being in the institution is the result of these external factors beyond the school’s control. The lack of empathy embedded in this culture that goes beyond the four walls of the institution has silenced the unhappiness and concealed the symptoms. “Good,” is the only acceptable answer to “How are you?”
In my final months in Junior College, I struggled a lot with insomnia. There were countless of sleepless nights, heart thumping episodes and indescribable anxiety. It was in the company of a close friend that I visited our school counsellor for the first time. Following which, the visits were followed up with messages that showed consistent and reliable support from the counsellor and comfort from the knowledge that I could always seek help where I needed. Friends who knew I had seen the counsellor also showered me with hugs and daily words of affirmation. With the benefit of hindsight, I could reaffirm my decision to visit him. Admittedly though, there was hesitation before letting anyone know that I was going to the counsellor at that point. It was as if I would be admitting to something being very wrong with me; some kind of problem I couldn’t resolve. I silenced myself for fear of judgment.
A lot more at https://www.domainofexperts.com/2016/09/suicide-lets-start-with-howru.html
I would have shown him the finger before I resigned. The work environment here is toxic.
I'II start with some comparison between OZ and SG. Here in SG, the causes are usually work and school environment for locals. In OZ, The overall environment is so relaxing and peaceful, yet still got a lot of people are being diagnosed with these as well. But the diff between these 2 countries is, one can claim disability under one but not the other. It can be a double edged sword though.
Best emigrate, it's getting way toxic here in SG. If you see a shrink here privately, the cost is prohibitive. But if you go to a public, it's on your public records. May hamper your advancement in that route as a civil servant.
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When you start to feel sorry for yourself and feel the buildup of anxiety/depression, try to acknowledge and know the difference between your emotions and your actual reality(rational mind). Meditate and try not to let your emotions overwhelm you. Nothing is permanent, pain is not permanent, being down is not permanent. Challenges always makes us a better/wiser person after the storm has passed.
Besides meditating, my way of coping is by looking at how other people around me are doing and reflect. Sometimes I think my situation is bad, but there will always be others who are at a worse situation than me and need my help. I'm currently staying in a rather challenging neighbourhood due to covid whereby I think it is best to save money during unprecedented times like now and not indulge too much in rent. There are many elderly folks(love the elderly neighbours, they are kinder and wiser, except the crazy tudung woman that puts bedbugs into some neighbour's houses) around here who would sometimes sit at the void deck alone by themselves. I would approach them and chat and give them some money or some food(from my flat upstairs). It always lift up my spirits when I lift others up.
Faith also plays an important role in coping with challenges in life. Know that God sees all and knows all. Sometimes what God puts you through may be to build your endurance for something better in the near future. As long as you keep your heart clean (it's hard, I know, especially if some uglies hurt you just bcoz your shine gets into their ugly turfaced eyes and their crazy head thinks its ok to insult, hurt, shame, dehumanise you).
Masturbation helps too, as long as you do not go and cyber attack your object of fantasy just bcoz you could not get her.
Besides meditating, my way of coping is by looking at how other people around me are doing and reflect. Sometimes I think my situation is bad, but there will always be others who are at a worse situation than me and need my help. I'm currently staying in a rather challenging neighbourhood due to covid whereby I think it is best to save money during unprecedented times like now and not indulge too much in rent. There are many elderly folks(love the elderly neighbours, they are kinder and wiser, except the crazy tudung woman that puts bedbugs into some neighbour's houses) around here who would sometimes sit at the void deck alone by themselves. I would approach them and chat and give them some money or some food(from my flat upstairs). It always lift up my spirits when I lift others up.
Faith also plays an important role in coping with challenges in life. Know that God sees all and knows all. Sometimes what God puts you through may be to build your endurance for something better in the near future. As long as you keep your heart clean (it's hard, I know, especially if some uglies hurt you just bcoz your shine gets into their ugly turfaced eyes and their crazy head thinks its ok to insult, hurt, shame, dehumanise you).
Masturbation helps too, as long as you do not go and cyber attack your object of fantasy just bcoz you could not get her.
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Bro I really hate that old manager to the core but because he is an old man I still respect him even I hate him bro.
I believed in karma bro after I migrated afew years to Australia I went back to visit my parent in Singapore.
Since I am in Singapore I visited that toxic company to visit those pacik and makcik colleagues who are very nice to me they always buy breakfast for me because they know how poor I am for that I forever grateful to them and will never forget them bro.
Anyway while I enter the company to visit my good colleagues I happen to met the old sadistic manager as he was older then me I greeted him.
He ask me where am I now before I could answer him one of the colleagues she answer for me she said “he is in Australia enjoying his life there with big house!” (Last time she able to see how I been treated by this sadistic old man)
I could see the sadistic manager face change!!!! And he immediately tell me he need to go and walk away!!!
To get to look at his face expression is priceless bro!!!!!
Until today sometime I like to recalls that moment!!!
I had a similar experience like yours in my last company. Knn, sometimes ang mohs are right. "Respect is earned, not given". A lot of these people are like that, when they are young, they are "rude young farts". Aging just make them "rude old farts". I wouldn't even greet him if I were you. He would have NONE of the common courtesy given. All the best in OZ, m8
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I tend to be kinda of a loner. Maybe like someone elses here I have a very customer interactive job. Normally I don't want to have anything to do with people when i go home.
Cooking for just being able to get something done makes me feel better. Though this past month I have been busy enough that I haven't done anything during Christmas and New Year. I just feel tired lately, work is so freaking busy.
Cooking for just being able to get something done makes me feel better. Though this past month I have been busy enough that I haven't done anything during Christmas and New Year. I just feel tired lately, work is so freaking busy.
555, I like cooking too.
You deserve that moment, man. And your manager deserves to be ashamed for what he did. Good job on making your life better now.
Being a shitskin is tough life. You need to deal with being inferior to White people. I just play retro video games and feel better. But it doesn't last long.
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