• IP addresses are NOT logged in this forum so there's no point asking. Please note that this forum is full of homophobes, racists, lunatics, schizophrenics & absolute nut jobs with a smattering of geniuses, Chinese chauvinists, Moderate Muslims and last but not least a couple of "know-it-alls" constantly sprouting their dubious wisdom. If you believe that content generated by unsavory characters might cause you offense PLEASE LEAVE NOW! Sammyboy Admin and Staff are not responsible for your hurt feelings should you choose to read any of the content here.

    The OTHER forum is HERE so please stop asking.

Help!! Is there a problem with me?

a_swashneker

Alfrescian
Loyal
Obsessive compulsive personality disorder (OCPD) is often confused with obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). This could be due to the more commonly known OCD and the similarities in name of the two disorders, however the mindsets are typically different and unrelated.

Those who are experiencing OCPD do not generally feel the need to repeatedly perform ritualistic actions - a common symptom of OCD. Instead, people with OCPD tend to stress perfectionism above all else, and feel anxious when they perceive that things are not "right."

People with OCPD may try to rid themselves of excess energy when anxious or excited by twitching or doing unpredictable things. They may hoard money for future use, keep their home perfectly organized, or be anxious about delegating tasks for fear that they won't be completed correctly. There are four primary areas that cause anxiety for OCPD personalities: time, relationship, uncleanliness, and money. There are few moral 'grey' areas for a person with fully developed OCPD; actions and beliefs are either completely right, or absolutely wrong. As might be expected, interpersonal relationships are difficult because of the excessive demands placed on friends, romantic partners and children. Persons with OCPD often have a negative outlook on life (pessimism).

* Preoccupation with details, rules, lists, order, organization, or schedules to the extent that the major point of the activity is lost
* Showing perfectionism that interferes with task completion (e.g., is unable to complete a project because his or her own overly strict standards are not met)
* Excessive devotion to work and productivity to the exclusion of leisure activities and friendships (not accounted for by obvious economic necessity)
* Being overconscientious, scrupulous, and inflexible about matters of morality, ethics, or values (not accounted for by cultural or religious identification)
* Inability to discard worn-out or worthless objects even when they have no sentimental value
* Reluctance to delegate tasks or to work with others unless they submit to exactly his or her way of doing things
* Adopting a miserly spending style toward both self and others; money is viewed as something to be hoarded for future catastrophes
* Shows rigidity and stubbornness

It is important to note that while a person may exhibit any or all of the characteristics of a personality disorder, it is not diagnosed as a disorder unless the person has trouble leading a normal life due to these issues.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Obsessive-compulsive_personality_disorder
 

Frankiestine

Alfrescian
Loyal
when you are doing well in your career, you will have a submissive wife..

sorry but never let any sinkee woman knows how successful you are...they will milk you dry when it comes to divorce and the more you provoke a sinkee woman she will gladly take you on...that the problems that 20 odd years has given them..a conceited character..:mad:
 

tonychat

Alfrescian (InfP)
Generous Asset
sorry but never let any sinkee woman knows how successful you are...they will milk you dry when it comes to divorce and the more you provoke a sinkee woman she will gladly take you on...that the problems that 20 odd years has given them..a conceited character..:mad:

Are you suggesting that we should stay away from sinkie women?
 

catch71

Alfrescian
Loyal
Thanks to all the brothers and sisters out there for your concern.

I am feeling much better now, guess writing about this is an emotional outlet that was previously not available. Honestly, there is only 1 person I can talk to about this problem, and I do not want to constantly go to her and complain about the same thing, year in year out. I know that is extremely irritating.

Breaking up the family is not an option although I might have secretly entertained the thought - sometimes I find myself looking at flat listing and daydreaming. But, I also know I cannot look at myself in the mirror if that happens. when i was younger, i broke up with my first girlfriend, and end up hating myself many years for hurting her. I could not breathe everytime the MRT pass by her place.

I know this is a personality flaw, but it is not something I can change. Tried to do that (change) for years, but cannot leh.

Actually, I posted the thread to find out if it is normal to feel upset about something so minor, it was never intended to be a wife bashing session. But I see that the bigger problem is that I have bottled up certain feelings, and swept them under the carpet without really resolving them. The resentment has built up over the years, coupled with the recent work stress made me feel that way.

To save the marriage, something has to change. and it would have to be me. I have a higher chance of hitting toto than getting her to see reason status quo.

Let me figure the most effective way change the dynamics of the family, and yet keep the changes within manageable / doable levels. Options like going to a whore or trial separation is not viable. I think the first step is to stop being so tidak apa about everything and start being more assertive in my everyday life.

Wish me luck, friends. and peace to all of you.
 

moolightaffairs

Alfrescian (Inf)
Asset
sorry but never let any sinkee woman knows how successful you are...they will milk you dry when it comes to divorce and the more you provoke a sinkee woman she will gladly take you on...that the problems that 20 odd years has given them..a conceited character..:mad:


Bro franky

thanks for your advice. i believe, if u think too much. ur action will make you look like a wimp. man should be decisive. the money is yours, its up to u to give or don't give. even to your wife. bro, why dont you put it this way, if a sinkie woman provoke you, u will gladly take her on and show her what u r good wif. i dont think any sinkie woman would wan to provoke u, if u have this kind of mindset. hope this will help.
 

Frankiestine

Alfrescian
Loyal
Bro franky

thanks for your advice. i believe, if u think too much. ur action will make you look like a wimp. man should be decisive. the money is yours, its up to u to give or don't give. even to your wife. bro, why dont you put it this way, if a sinkie woman provoke you, u will gladly take her on and show her what u r good wif. i dont think any sinkie woman would wan to provoke u, if u have this kind of mindset. hope this will help.
the modern sinkee woman is different from the past, they are no longer reliant on a man for emotional and financial support...that why in a fight the first thing that crops up to them is...if it doesn't fit ditch it...but unfortunately the fuck up familee cock is still set in a archaic mindset thinking that the today woman is a vulnerable and fragile being that needs the utmost protection...that why the man here get screw through and through in a divorce financially in particular....
 

lolabunny

Alfrescian
Loyal
Thanks to all the brothers and sisters out there for your concern.

I am feeling much better now, guess writing about this is an emotional outlet that was previously not available. Honestly, there is only 1 person I can talk to about this problem, and I do not want to constantly go to her and complain about the same thing, year in year out. I know that is extremely irritating.

Breaking up the family is not an option although I might have secretly entertained the thought - sometimes I find myself looking at flat listing and daydreaming. But, I also know I cannot look at myself in the mirror if that happens. when i was younger, i broke up with my first girlfriend, and end up hating myself many years for hurting her. I could not breathe everytime the MRT pass by her place.

I know this is a personality flaw, but it is not something I can change. Tried to do that (change) for years, but cannot leh.

Actually, I posted the thread to find out if it is normal to feel upset about something so minor, it was never intended to be a wife bashing session. But I see that the bigger problem is that I have bottled up certain feelings, and swept them under the carpet without really resolving them. The resentment has built up over the years, coupled with the recent work stress made me feel that way.

To save the marriage, something has to change. and it would have to be me. I have a higher chance of hitting toto than getting her to see reason status quo.

Let me figure the most effective way change the dynamics of the family, and yet keep the changes within manageable / doable levels. Options like going to a whore or trial separation is not viable. I think the first step is to stop being so tidak apa about everything and start being more assertive in my everyday life.

Wish me luck, friends. and peace to all of you.

Good luck. But eventually, you still have to tell the wife. If you've never sat down for a good talk with her, you wouldn't know what else she thinks.

For all you know, she's posting in flowerpod about what to do with her naggy husband she still loves. Think about it, you may not be the only one who feels that something is wrong and something has to change. :smile:

When you are ready, try talking to her. In life, if we never try, we never know. Then we'll never know.

Take care.
 
Top