Transmodified from hxxp://www.channelnewsasia.com/news/singapore/finding-s-poreans-to-join-hawk/623948.html
PEASANTPORE: Demoted Minion for the Flooding Half Breed Doc Viv Bala-the-kris-nan said Monday that one of his 'kaypoh' ministry's key challenges is finding enough local peasants to join the hawker trade.
Wise old peasants understands that this is merely a ruse to confound peasants into giving boons to foreigners in hawker centres. Earlier the regime has announce that it would build 10 new hawker centres to be rented by foreigners by 2017.
Half Breed Doc Viv was defending his move to allocate 99% of all hawker stalls to foreigners.
"KNNCCB, when we hike hawker rentals, local peasants 'cry father and cry mother'. Then lumpar netizens immediately use this opening to write silly Jane Austen like letters to label me as the 'Enemy of the Peasants'. So now I smarter liao, just rent the stalls to grateful foreigners and marginalize the local peasants lor.
Some lumpars even suggest we follow Northern Mat's practice of renting stalls to local peasants who then rent their license to foreigners, a typical Ummo National Economic Plan huh? You think I half chink, half neh stupid is it? Why should I share the profits with ungrateful peasants, I might as well charge foreigners high rental fees so they pass the costs to stupid local peasants?" sneered the Minion.
Half Breed Doc Viv added that the other key challenge facing the ministry was the convince retiring hawkers to carry toiling and paying rent. He added that the regime must force stubborn retiring hawkers to give up their trade secrets to foreign hawkers.
Educated Ape Tommy Koh, who was at the forum, also echoed Half Breed Doc Viv's sentiments. He claimed fat loser hawkers must pass their trade secrets if they opt to retire so that the foreigners will enjoy this competitive edge and continue to pay sky high rents to Half Breed Doc Viv's ministry.
“You know, I know after calling Nihons as Fat Losers and Nehs as idiots, I need to keep low profile in foreign service. But I still draw a fat cat stipend, so whenever Ruler Loong as me to help his minions, I just show up and give my two cents comments lor.
I asked overseas foreigners what they missed most, they told me, bashing Ruler Loong and writing complaint letters to stupid minions. Why? Because Ruler Loong enacts those silly pro-foreigner policies and minions betray local peasants. So KNNCCB, like to complain right, we will allow foreigners to be hawkers lor,” laughed Educated Ape Koh, someone you will never see in a hawker centre.
Half Breed Doc Viv added he would strongly support the idea to open a training institute or a repository of the best hawker secrets for foreigners only. Local peasants need not apply
The minion also stressed that he was “under no illusions” that hawking should be an option for local peasants since they are politically unreliable.
He also added that the regime is committed to providing opportunities for grateful foreigners only.
PEASANTPORE: Demoted Minion for the Flooding Half Breed Doc Viv Bala-the-kris-nan said Monday that one of his 'kaypoh' ministry's key challenges is finding enough local peasants to join the hawker trade.
Wise old peasants understands that this is merely a ruse to confound peasants into giving boons to foreigners in hawker centres. Earlier the regime has announce that it would build 10 new hawker centres to be rented by foreigners by 2017.
Half Breed Doc Viv was defending his move to allocate 99% of all hawker stalls to foreigners.
"KNNCCB, when we hike hawker rentals, local peasants 'cry father and cry mother'. Then lumpar netizens immediately use this opening to write silly Jane Austen like letters to label me as the 'Enemy of the Peasants'. So now I smarter liao, just rent the stalls to grateful foreigners and marginalize the local peasants lor.
Some lumpars even suggest we follow Northern Mat's practice of renting stalls to local peasants who then rent their license to foreigners, a typical Ummo National Economic Plan huh? You think I half chink, half neh stupid is it? Why should I share the profits with ungrateful peasants, I might as well charge foreigners high rental fees so they pass the costs to stupid local peasants?" sneered the Minion.
Half Breed Doc Viv added that the other key challenge facing the ministry was the convince retiring hawkers to carry toiling and paying rent. He added that the regime must force stubborn retiring hawkers to give up their trade secrets to foreign hawkers.
Educated Ape Tommy Koh, who was at the forum, also echoed Half Breed Doc Viv's sentiments. He claimed fat loser hawkers must pass their trade secrets if they opt to retire so that the foreigners will enjoy this competitive edge and continue to pay sky high rents to Half Breed Doc Viv's ministry.
“You know, I know after calling Nihons as Fat Losers and Nehs as idiots, I need to keep low profile in foreign service. But I still draw a fat cat stipend, so whenever Ruler Loong as me to help his minions, I just show up and give my two cents comments lor.
I asked overseas foreigners what they missed most, they told me, bashing Ruler Loong and writing complaint letters to stupid minions. Why? Because Ruler Loong enacts those silly pro-foreigner policies and minions betray local peasants. So KNNCCB, like to complain right, we will allow foreigners to be hawkers lor,” laughed Educated Ape Koh, someone you will never see in a hawker centre.
Half Breed Doc Viv added he would strongly support the idea to open a training institute or a repository of the best hawker secrets for foreigners only. Local peasants need not apply
The minion also stressed that he was “under no illusions” that hawking should be an option for local peasants since they are politically unreliable.
He also added that the regime is committed to providing opportunities for grateful foreigners only.
