GD Investigates ........................

GoldenDragon

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GD: Good afternoon gentlemen

Steve: Afternoon, GD

Sebas: What, afternoon already huh? I still thinking morning man. Last night got money from agent went kio kuay and hang flower

GD: I am quite sure by now, you two would be aware that many S'poreans aren't too pleased with your decision to contest MacPherson

Steve: No lah. Many voters contacted NSP office and insisted we are power party and better chance of winning

Sebas: That is correct. We are thinking and doing for our supporters

GD: Hazel appears traumatised and disillusioned with the NSP

Sebas: Who is Hazel?

Steve: Fuck you lah Sebas. Like that we will be exposed. Hazel our Sec-Gen lah

Sebas: Chey, why I think it is still Meng Seng?

Steve: Wahlaneh, in-betwwen got the joker now wanna fight Lina. Can't recall his name

Sebas: Neither can I

GD: Some rumours that both of you orchestrated this coz intel reports suggest that He Ting Ru will crush TinTin

Steve: Not true. When I contest, both ladies will lose deposit. I am Stevie No Wonder aka Kena Caught with Pants Down

Sebas: What are you two talking about?

Steve: You diam diam let me talk otherwise we langa lobang exposed

GD: Some people accuse you both of being planted

Sebas: Ay, don't anyhow say I plant hor. I no plant. I human

Steve: They can whatever they want. We are loyal opposition

GD: To prove your innocence, what are you prepared to do?

Steve: You suggest

Sebas: I bet my whole life or whatever is left of it. Sui bo? People are just jealous of us. NSP has many graduates from our own Academy. We are the number 1 party in S'pore

GD: To resolve this matter, let me consult with my boss Leongsam. He is a genius

to be continued .......................
 
I would like to invite you to write for us on our Sunday column to replace Sumiko Tan!
 
GD: Gentlemen, nice to meet you both again. I have spoken to Mr Leongsam and he appears to have a solution to the problem

Sebas: Wahlaneh! Or Kui Tau so cleber one ah. Limpeh thought he only expert in kio kuay biz

Stevie: Boss, can you let me handle this? Don't spoil the show. Our handlers have taught us what to say, remember? Money already paid

Sebas: Ok, Stevie boy

GD: Sammyboy Forum suggests that you both be polygraphed by Mr CW Bryant, a certified polygraph expert from the USA. The tests will be conducted for members of public to view. If you pass the test, you can go home and SBF will pay for the test. If you fail, good luck to you

Sebas: Fail, fail lah. Take exam or what? Limpeh always fail also bo tai chi

GD: Mr Teo, please do not take this test lightly. I want you both to know that Mr Escher will deal with the one who faylo the test

Sebas: Wahlaneh, I back out man

Stevie: Me too!

GD: Why? It is only Mr Escher

Steve: But he hang piano wire one

Sebas: Not only that. His curse sipei power. Curse until our master Harry pang kang. I am afraid, very afraid

GD: Based on my police experience over more than 3 decades, innocent chaps will volunteer for such tests. They have nothing to be afraid. The guilty ones will avoid it at all costs

Steve: Not really. The law does not require me to take the test

Sebas: Jialak liao, Steve, what to say

Steve: let me handle this. You just keep your fucking mouth shut, ok?

GD: We, from SBF all very steady. If you are ready for the test, please e-mail me, ok?

Steve: Let me check with my agent first

Sebas: Why agent? You need maid or going for holiday

Steve: Chow chee bye you lah. Agent is not maid agent or travel agent one. It is the person who tells us what to do and pay us our stipend. Understand?

Sebas: Now I do

GD: Let me know your decision asap



to be continued .........................
 
Agent: Sebas, you there/

Sebas: Yes, sir

Agent: Where is Steve?

Sebas: With me. Where to meet?

Agent: Room 777, Hotel 81 at Lavender

Sebas: No problem. Fast come ok, very urgency now

Agent: I need to be cautious. Counter surveillance must be practised. If not, Sammyboy people will expose us all

Steve: Sammyboy so caqpable meh?

Sebas: Ya lor, they so cleber is it?

Agent: You both are clowns. Mothefuckers who screwed up badly. My boss is very upset. Maybe no PB (performance bonus) this year

Sebas: Ay, boss, don't like that leh. I otang ah longs about 20k. Okt about 3k

Steve: Boss, my bike still otang money leh

Agent: I am just relaying info to you both

Steve: Now we kena cornered, what to say?

Agent: Just say you both will not take the test because the law says so. It must be voluntary and it is no offence disclosed even if you fail the test

Sebas: Ya hor. That Escher guy make me cannot sleep. I open eyes can see him already all ready with his wires

Steve: Me too. Having nightmares boss

Agent: Since you both goondus already exposed, you are now no longer with us. Good luck

Steve: How can like this? You people say must spoil the show coz that woman who gave birth cannot win. Also, say that chio bu Ah Ru cannot win then say she favourite

Sebas: Can I start another party?

Agent: For fuck?

Sebas: Like that ah? I think I better go apply to be taxi driver

Steve: I think I will check with Leongsam if got job for me or not. Okt also nebermind
 
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