- Joined
- Aug 14, 2009
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I HAVE been reading Ms Clara Chow's Manic Mummy column with interest.
I am a full-time father. The hardest part of being one is the lack of social acceptance and the refusal by others to acknowledge that it is a "real" and full-time job.
In this job, you can literally get poop on your face, and when you do well, your reward is not a three-month bonus or a BMW, but a little peck on the cheek and the words:
"Good night, Daddy. I love you." (At least until my daughter wakes up asking for milk at 4am).
I was an electrical engineer and I used to write technical manuals. Taking care of a baby these days is not that difficult, as they come with instruction manuals.
There are thousands of books on how to care for infants.
However, I find that most people are unable to follow instruction manuals.
When I tell people that I am a full-time dad, they look at me as if I were mad. They would say: "You unemployed ah?"
When I tell people I run my own business so that I can have more time for my daughter, they would reply: "It's not a real company, therefore it's not a real job."
Contrary to stereotypes, I did not give up a multi-million- dollar pay cheque to spend time with my family.
Both my wife and I work in the technical field and used to travel a lot on business.
There was no way we could take care of a baby and maintain our working schedules at the same time.
Also, we did not have the luxury of delegating our childcare duties to parents or relatives, and I refused to have a maid take care of my child.
Hence, we chose to make some sacrifices.
We decided that we would be a single-income family, and went against the norm when I, instead of my wife, gave up my job.
We did so as we rationalised that it would be easier for a man to re-enter the workforce, even after a significant length of absence.
Having experienced taking care of my daughter, I discovered that I enjoy working with children very much.
However, I am disheartened to see that men in Singapore are not encouraged to do so.
Many books I have read on the subject are written by Western authors. You almost never hear of Asian males writing about childcare.
In my spare time, I share my knowledge and experience of baby care on Internet bulletin boards, and have been receiving a good response.
I enjoy it so much that I have decided to start writing children's books.
However, I never forget that all this is possible because I have a very supportive wife, who is a working mother.
Mr Iwan Pekerti
I am a full-time father. The hardest part of being one is the lack of social acceptance and the refusal by others to acknowledge that it is a "real" and full-time job.
In this job, you can literally get poop on your face, and when you do well, your reward is not a three-month bonus or a BMW, but a little peck on the cheek and the words:
"Good night, Daddy. I love you." (At least until my daughter wakes up asking for milk at 4am).
I was an electrical engineer and I used to write technical manuals. Taking care of a baby these days is not that difficult, as they come with instruction manuals.
There are thousands of books on how to care for infants.
However, I find that most people are unable to follow instruction manuals.
When I tell people that I am a full-time dad, they look at me as if I were mad. They would say: "You unemployed ah?"
When I tell people I run my own business so that I can have more time for my daughter, they would reply: "It's not a real company, therefore it's not a real job."
Contrary to stereotypes, I did not give up a multi-million- dollar pay cheque to spend time with my family.
Both my wife and I work in the technical field and used to travel a lot on business.
There was no way we could take care of a baby and maintain our working schedules at the same time.
Also, we did not have the luxury of delegating our childcare duties to parents or relatives, and I refused to have a maid take care of my child.
Hence, we chose to make some sacrifices.
We decided that we would be a single-income family, and went against the norm when I, instead of my wife, gave up my job.
We did so as we rationalised that it would be easier for a man to re-enter the workforce, even after a significant length of absence.
Having experienced taking care of my daughter, I discovered that I enjoy working with children very much.
However, I am disheartened to see that men in Singapore are not encouraged to do so.
Many books I have read on the subject are written by Western authors. You almost never hear of Asian males writing about childcare.
In my spare time, I share my knowledge and experience of baby care on Internet bulletin boards, and have been receiving a good response.
I enjoy it so much that I have decided to start writing children's books.
However, I never forget that all this is possible because I have a very supportive wife, who is a working mother.
Mr Iwan Pekerti
