Feeding of the 5 thousand

[Freespeakereth]

The Sermon on e Mount where Jesus preached had e miracle of the loaves and the fish, where they followed Him to e wilderness and had nothing to eat, 5000 ppl of them, and it goes that Jesus then sat them down gave thanks broke the bread and multiplied the food to distribute to others, the funny version is they all sat down, all took down their tunics and unstuffed them and brought out the fishes and bread and ate so all were fed(Matt 5). ;D!!!

 

[GOD IS MY DOG]

David Blaine may have been able to pull off the miracle.............not Jesus..........

 

[drifter]

Can jesus also give money to his own church ?

 

[Freespeakereth]

David Blaine may have been able to pull off the miracle.............not Jesus..........

I think the friend who told me this joke/funny story as a spoof of Jesus' feeding of the 5000 used to grow up in church and got bored during Sunday School, and cracked it up during breaktime or something???

 

[Freespeakereth]

Haha, like The Feeding of the 5000 spoof, maybe out of His own peoples pockets in Thithing and offerings and multiply, but I think never excessively, cuz of wat I dunno, but just 10% of income lah. Otherwise the church aircon who pay???Haha.

 

[WinneMUCCA]

The Star auditorium of NCC at Buona Vista also can sit only 5,000, not by design but by decree of building control, and not more.
The number 5 is a creation number, as far as readers of the bible is concerned. Nothing right or wrong about it, just a Christian belief.

 

[Sinkie]

This is the story of the prophet Jesus feeding the multitude and still with abundant left over. This story is in the 4 gospels, which means it is an important story to be recorded down and taught to the believers ofthe faith.

 

[shittypore]

The Sermon on e Mount where Jesus preached had e miracle of the loaves and the fish, where they followed Him to e wilderness and had nothing to eat, 5000 ppl of them, and it goes that Jesus then sat them down gave thanks broke the bread and multiplied the food to distribute to others, the funny version is they all sat down, all took down their tunics and unstuffed them and brought out the fishes and bread and ate so all were fed(Matt 5). ;D!!!

Tot that it happen in shittypore, Sinkies also will sit quietly when they have their daily bread
given by Pappies.

 

[Freespeakereth]

The Star auditorium of NCC at Buona Vista also can sit only 5,000, not by design but by decree of building control, and not more.
The number 5 is a creation number, as far as readers of the bible is concerned. Nothing right or wrong about it, just a Christian belief.

Oh, so saying the no 5 is also a slap in your faces, of waking ppl up from a dream, cuz God either created man or woman/male or female, and church some church pastors regardless of gender or misgender dont get $5000 salary but x4=$20,000, and so New Creation Church really ought to have a
20,000 capacity auditorium seat, one dollar for each person???May God solve the problem and shut everyone's hypo mouth by restoring the numbers then???Y tok so much about capacity when theres not even enough???Believe me, Jesus wl be proud of yr agenda if you stick.

 

[Agoraphobic]

The Sermon on e Mount where Jesus preached had e miracle of the loaves and the fish, where they followed Him to e wilderness and had nothing to eat, 5000 ppl of them, and it goes that Jesus then sat them down gave thanks broke the bread and multiplied the food to distribute to others, the funny version is they all sat down, all took down their tunics and unstuffed them and brought out the fishes and bread and ate so all were fed(Matt 5). ;D!!!

One should not read the bible (or any historical script) and take it as verbally described. Unless one wishes to believe in miracles.

How I interpret the above story is that Jesus (or whoever that person was) had a couple of fishes and some fish food. He then taught the commoners how to build cages and fish farms - he taught them aquaculture (and the fish was Tilapia), and they were able to raise fish and sustain their communities from a small humble beginning. That's why we see Tilapia raised all over the world today. Also, about making the blind see - it is making the ignorant englightened; do not take the print word for word - that's where all the crap happens. Jesus was a teacher.

Cheers!

 

[GOD IS MY DOG]

new equation that every Christian should know.................even Einstein will approve............

what equation ?



Horus + Mithra = Jesus

 

[zeebjii]

One should not read the bible (or any historical script) and take it as verbally described. Unless one wishes to believe in miracles.

How I interpret the above story is that Jesus (or whoever that person was) had a couple of fishes and some fish food. He then taught the commoners how to build cages and fish farms - he taught them aquaculture (and the fish was Tilapia), and they were able to raise fish and sustain their communities from a small humble beginning. That's why we see Tilapia raised all over the world today. Also, about making the blind see - it is making the ignorant englightened; do not take the print word for word - that's where all the crap happens. Jesus was a teacher.

Cheers!

A pity. You could have had a good career as a fantasy scriptwriter.

 

[Toronto]

Some diseases could be cured by religious means, such as praying to the particular saint with responsibility for the disease in question. Many Christians still do this for both incurable and curable illnesses. The New Testament says explicitly that the prayers of Church officials will cure illness (James 5:14-15). This then is another traditional way of proving the Christian faith.

If biblical claims and traditional teachings were true, then patterns of illness and mortality for believers would be different from those of non-believers. A good point to debate here.

 

[Toronto]

Many thousands of Christians claim that God has healed them of otherwise incurable diseases. Yet there is no statistical evidence of anything other than ordinary rates of spontaneous remission among these claimants. This is particularly odd since it is well known that mental attitudes can have a significant influence on the course of physical diseases, so one might expect higher rates of remission even without supernatural assistance. On the other hand the overwhelming majority of people who are medically diagnosed as terminal cases and who claim that they are benefiting from divine healing die anyway.

 

[Toronto]

H. L. Mencken: It takes a long while for a naturally trustful person to reconcile himself to the idea that after all God will not help him.

 

[Agoraphobic]

A pity. You could have had a good career as a fantasy scriptwriter.

Thank you - that's very flattering/ Actually I wanted to be a journalist but my parents were dead against that idea and I ended up in engineering. Anyway, fantasy isn't my area of interest or specialty, that honour goes to the writers of the gospels.

Cheers!

 

[GOD IS MY DOG]

how about my storyline.................


Jesus actually fed the 5000 to the fishes after he ran out of bread to feed the fishes................which turned out to be piranhas...........which were left in the nearby lake or whatever..............by none other than Noah...............

 

[Agoraphobic]

how about my storyline.................


Jesus actually fed the 5000 to the fishes after he ran out of bread to feed the fishes................which turned out to be piranhas...........which were left in the nearby lake or whatever..............by none other than Noah...............

Piranhas are found in South America, which at the time of Jesus, did not yet exist (and the world was still flat). Tilapia lah, they're after all African Cichlids and lived in the Nile River, and raised by the advanced Egyptians. Also, Jesus will not do that (feed humans to the fishies), he is a kind and compassionate person.

Cheers!