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EDMW Jonathan shares his dating experience from OKCupid dating app



TheGreatJonathan :​

I decided to just open an account in OkCupid to try my luck to find a new girl in an effort to forget her.

After a few days of using OKC I have to say it is horrible. After using the app for few days straight and swiping girsl until I reach the limit, I only got a 3. Out of that 3, 1 just ghosted away after we chat a little bit. The other one just unmatch me just because I replied her 1 hour later. So the 3rd girl seems okay. She's older than me a little... She has hit 30 recently while I have not. We chat a little and we seem to connect a bit, so she propose we meet up as she is curious to know more about me. I was a little surprise how things escalated and we agreed to meet today. Let's call her MX.

Unfortunately, my boss told me to OT a little bit. I messaged her that I will be a little late, but she said no problem as she is willing to wait. I thought to myself, "Wow, this girl is patient. Plus point."

But as you know it is a warm day today, I was sweating a lot until I can smell that dreaded BO (body odour). Afraid that I might turn her off, I decide to just don my Grab delivery attire (that's my 2nd job).

I hurried over and she told me she's inside the restaurant wearing purple dress. I said ok. When I arrived and enter the restaurant, I only see one lady wearing purple and I assume it is her. I just smile and sat. She smiled back and just turned away sitting sideways on her chair. I was like "Wtf". I opened my mouth and asked, "MX? You're MX, right?"

She suddenly, "OH! Sorry! You're Jonathan? Haha, I thought you're a grab delivery personnel waiting for the restaurant to prepare your order to deliver and sat beside me to wait. Haha. Sorry."

Immediately, I think to myself, "完了... I think 50% no chance already."

That's when I truly regret wearing the Grab uniform, because our 'date' end up becoming an interview. She kept asking me about my 2nd job like "what's the most wtf delivery you ever made?", "highest tips you got?", "so what if people create fake account and make you deliver but the person didn't order har?", .etc.

I felt like she's some CNA journalist interviewing a Grab delivery personnel. I felt the dating atmosphere is off. Love is no longer in the air. So I try to divert attention by asking about her life instead. She merely reply short answers, "Oh office job.", "Ya, work 3 years." With such short and closing answers, there's no way to ask about her.

Then she asked I work Grab full time or what. I told her I work office job 9-5, then night time do Grab for additional income, especially because I need to support my aging and ailing parents as I'm the only child.

She then says, "Wow, like that next time if you got girlfriend how? No time for her... Like that, your future girlfriend must be understanding and very supportive."

完了... That reply of hers tore my soul. I know it's over. I was expecting a better answer like "Wow, you're a filial son" or "you're a hardworking man" instead of that. I felt a hot flush behind my back... I felt small and humiliated.

Barely an hour into our date, she says she needs to go off because she has 'something on'. I know that's just an excuse and we say goodbye.

I continue sitting at the restaurant a while to reflect about my life. I felt small. I felt humiliated. Is this what society has become? All about materialism and social status? No one cares about a person's character anymore? Then I start thinking of V too. I felt like tearing again, but my inner anger stops me from doing so. I decide to not on my Grab app... just want to take a break for today after what happened.

As I took bus home, I notice she has unmatched me.

This day will never be forgotten. I promise to work harder than ever. The boy dies and the man is born.


Turns out there's a prelude to Jonathan's story :

So I truly need some consolation as there's no one else to turn to.

There's this girl whom I've been trying to chase for more than 10 years. Let's just call her "V". I'm always there for her. During these 10 years, she already went through 3 boyfriends. Me? Not even a single one as I've always been waiting for her. I'm also quite upset that she never considered me too. I'm always there for her to console her, meet her up, treat her, and so on. Many times, her boyfriends weren't so happy with me because we're very close, but she would defend and say I'm her "sister". Sian.

So last year, she called me in the middle of the night. I was dead tired because I've been working late night shifts (2 jobs to support my family, I'm the only child). As a gentleman, I immediately picked up. She was screaming excitedly saying her boyfriend proposed to her and she accepted it. She said since I'm the closest to her she wants to share it with me first. I was shocked. I felt my world is crashing down... I felt like a fool waiting for her for more than 10 years to give me a chance. I wanted to burst out crying but I pretended to put up a strong front and congratulated her and act as if I'm really happy. But I was tearing silently as I am acting up a fake happy front.

Last weekend was her wedding. That whole week prior to her wedding I couldn't sleep and found myself crying to sleep while daydreaming that I was the one marrying her... I felt suicidal and barely slept an hour. When it was the day of her wedding, I reluctantly turned up. I remember my eyes teared until it was obviously red until the Grab driver also kept looking at the rear mirror to peek at me as we're heading to the destination.

When I arrived at the hotel and signed in at the reception, tears started dripping all over the reception bok until the bridesmaid asked me if anything wrong. I said I'm just very happy for V. As a gesture of my last love for her, I even packed $5K for the red packet. That money was supposed to be a secret gift for her and me to travel to Japan (her favourite country) or South Korea (she watches a lot of dramas) should she ever broke up with her then-boyfriend. But since there's no more use I just pocketed the whole sum to her.

As I sat, I saw her donned in her wedding gown holding hands with the groom as they enter the ballroom. I cried again... Her beauty sears my heart. Every second of her presence and happiness with her groom-to-be stabs my heart. The suicidal thought came again to end this agony. As they went to the stage to do their vows-exchange and such, I was crying all the way until everyone at the table like gave a wtf face to me. I overheard one guy next table murmured, "maybe he's the beta who lost to the groom."

Then V came over and asked if anything is wrong... I just kept silent. I could see she sense the awkward atmosphere at my table, so she just told everyone at the table, "Haha, just my 'sister' is just very happy for me! That's why 'she' is crying out of happiness for me" That tore my very spirit and soul. I felt like collapsing on the spot. Later the groom came over and shook my hand and thanked me for being a very good 'sister' to V. I felt that very insulting and humiliating. I just shook his hand and gave a friendly hug and told him to take good care of her. I just left immediately after that.

Worse is today she post in FB and said one of her relative was so kind to give her $5K red packet. She says she's very grateful for her relatives and friends, and 2022 has been a great start for her. I felt wtf. As if I've thrown 5K in the river.

Now I'm filled with hatred and anger. I waited for 10+ years... No chance, never even hold her hand or kiss her once... Yet, she got 3 boyfriends that 10 years... God knows how many times she suck, or f**ked, while I'm a beta cuck in blind faith hoping for a miracle love. As her boyfriends are french-kissing or f**king her in real life, I can only visualise and daydream of doing that to her. Pathetic.

I'm soon-to-be 30 and I felt like I may never find a girlfriend or even get married in this life. Not to mention my terrible finance and having to work 2 jobs to support my aging parents.

You chase a girl for 10 years that calls you sister? Not even brother? No warning bells going off in his head?

How does Jonathan expect to get any sympathy for that? What a waste of 10 years...

This guy needs a reality check and find a girl that actually wants him as a male and not a sister.