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- Apr 9, 2009
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I was married to a Singaporean wife for 11 years and divorced some years back. Our divorce agreement was done in a fully amicable way and I even consented myself to a very generous maintenance package for my ex spouse and agreed to grant her full custody of our 3 children. I went back to my home country to work since I could not find adequate employment in Singapore since the Asian Financial Crisis back in 1997. My expertise and speciality were not in demand and appreciated in a saturated Singapore business environment, so I had to migrate back to my home country to make a living to still support my family back in Singapore.
A couple of years ago, my ex spouse passed away suddenly strike by a heart problem which took every one of us by surprise. This is when my endless legal troubles started. My former in-laws came to my house in Singapore while I was working overseas, right on the day when my late spouse passed away in a hospital in Singapore and took away my children travel documents and birth certificates without my consent.
My late spouse and my children were still living in or matrimonial flat despite the divorce as we had agreed that it should be so until the property market improved so that the flat would be disposed off in the market and in my divorce agreement, I already consented that all cash proceedings from such transaction would go entirely to my late spouse benefits, for the sake of the children and her future endeavors.
I came back for the funeral of my late spouse and tried to regain custody of my children who are dual nationals. despite the fact that Singapore does not recognize dual nationality, my country of citizenry legally allows so and the children were registered as that country nationals since birth though they were also declared as Singaporean since birth.
The former in-laws adamantly refused to hand over my children’s travel documents back to me, their legal and sole surviving parent, and claimed I had to go to court to seek back my rightful custody of the children. In any civilized country, custody of the children automatically falls back to the sole surviving parent unless he/she is a convicted or a drug addict –which I am none–. Hence started a 2 year legal proceeding through the family court to regain custody of my children.
As I was busy working overseas and did not have much time to commute back and forth to Singapore each time for court appearance, my first lawyer (from a local reputable firm) handled the issue on my behalf. The former in-laws demanded that I continue to pay them the same monthly maintenance fee that I had agreed with my late spouse during our amicable divorce agreement (which is a substantial amount agreed in foreign currency!). My argument all along was why should I continue paying my former in-laws for any such maintenance while my own children have been all along staying in our matrimonial flat and I had never failed in my parental obligation since Day One despite our divorce. The first court order ruled that all my children must not be separated but the former in-laws have since the very day of that court order issuance, broken the order by separating my children.
The former in-laws have also subsequently come to my Singapore home and took away my daughters to stay with them leaving behind my young son who refused to go with them at that time. The former mother-in-law kept my 2nd daugther while the former sister-in-law kept my eldest daughter, separately from each other some more! That was done on the very same day when the Family Court issued its first ruling of forcing me a joint custody for all my children with my former in-laws and imposed that I continued to pay them the so-called high monthly maintenance fee with my children travel documents being kept by them as well.
That was too much to bear given such strange ruling issued 2 years ago and I had to wait for a good half year before I hired another lawyer (from a small firm this time round) to help me seek a variation of the first Family Court Order. I managed to demonstrate in the second proceeding that my former in-laws were merely going after monetary gain and never really cared for my children’s welfare. The proof was since a year now, my daughters had run back to stay at my Singapore flat as they refused to remain with the former in-laws.
Subsequently, I tried to bring all my children to vacation to my home country so they can see for their own eyes the reality of the place despite being brainwashed by the former in-laws of the so-called backwardness of the place. Unfortunately, again only my son agreed to come with me at that time and I had to cancel the airtickets for my daugthers at the last minute though we had agreed initially to make the trip all of us as a family. They were simply being again convinced by the former in-laws that they would never returned to Singapore should they follow me to my home country.
As a properly educated person, I could not afford to run afoul of your Singapore law and since the first court order imposed that I had to seek permission from my former in-laws to get my children travel documents whenever I want to travel with them, I had to return those travel documents upon return from my trip. Again that was highly ridiculous of such court order treating me as though I am a criminal while these are my own flesh and blood children.
The consequence was my son has declared to the court at the second proceeding that he wanted to be with me, his father, in my home country and not in Singapore. The Family Court had no other choice but grant me full custody of my son and forced the surrender of my son’s Singapore passport to me by the former in-law but still maintained the order of joint custody for my daughters with their travel documents being retained by the former in-laws. However, due to my clear evidence that those former in-laws were only going after my money and started the whole thing just for monetary gain, the Family Court in its second order rescinded future request of any monthly maintenance cost to them.
Nonetheless, I was imposed the penalty to pay the former in-laws the hefty sum of nearly SGD 20,000/= for the few months that my 2 daughters were staying with them. That was despite my argument that (1) they took my daughters out of my house without my consent and during my absence from Singpaore (2) I never asked them to do so since the children were staying at my Singpaore home being looked after by the nanny who was with me for 10 years now (3) so why should I be penalized to pay such maintenance fees of nearly SGD 20K for just the few months that they took my daughters by force to be with them???
I am extremely sad and concerned that the Singapore court ruling had been so weird, denhying me of my rightful parental privilege, having to humiliate me to the point of me having to go to court just to seek back custody of my own children (while in other normal countries, such issue is automatic and nobody ever had to go court for that being the sole surviving parent!), humiliation is also that I was denied my right to educate my own children since the court by its repeated and second ruling forced the physical separation of my children. Now my son is residing in my home country with me while my 2 daughters are being kept in Singapore.
Only in Singpaore did I from personal experience see such amazzing thing occuring when the parent himself was denied of the right to look after his children and decide how to educate them. Why should the Singapore legal system force upon such ruling? I am totally astonished to see this happening and am still till today living in pain for not having my children together so that I could provide them overdue parental love as my daugthers are staying now with a friend who helped look after tham since the long serving nanny had to return home as her work permit was cancelled having reached retirement age.
This bitter experience only draw me further away from wanting to remain living in such environment and I long honestly for the day I could settle legally the fate of my daughters so that I could surrender my PR back to the authorities without regret.
My son is now staying happily with me and I have since remarried with an additional baby girl whom he adores. I even brought my current spouse to Singapore earlier this year to acquaint my daughters who also seemed to take a liking over their baby half sister as well but unfortunately, I am still entangled with this legal technicality imposed by the Singapore Family Court.
I am only sad that after 2 decades of PR in Singapore, my impression of the place has been spoilt by this problem. I am not asking for any sympathy from your Singpaorean readers with due respect to them and to your country, I only wish to share my concern over the discrepency resulting out of your legal system. I am currently still helpless and none the wiser as per how would I finally get my daughters to be reunited with me as a happy family together. Time will tell certainly.
Signed: a disappointed PR
http://www.webasaservice.com/usefulinfo/disappointed-pr-unhappy-with-singapore-family-court-ruling/
A couple of years ago, my ex spouse passed away suddenly strike by a heart problem which took every one of us by surprise. This is when my endless legal troubles started. My former in-laws came to my house in Singapore while I was working overseas, right on the day when my late spouse passed away in a hospital in Singapore and took away my children travel documents and birth certificates without my consent.
My late spouse and my children were still living in or matrimonial flat despite the divorce as we had agreed that it should be so until the property market improved so that the flat would be disposed off in the market and in my divorce agreement, I already consented that all cash proceedings from such transaction would go entirely to my late spouse benefits, for the sake of the children and her future endeavors.
I came back for the funeral of my late spouse and tried to regain custody of my children who are dual nationals. despite the fact that Singapore does not recognize dual nationality, my country of citizenry legally allows so and the children were registered as that country nationals since birth though they were also declared as Singaporean since birth.
The former in-laws adamantly refused to hand over my children’s travel documents back to me, their legal and sole surviving parent, and claimed I had to go to court to seek back my rightful custody of the children. In any civilized country, custody of the children automatically falls back to the sole surviving parent unless he/she is a convicted or a drug addict –which I am none–. Hence started a 2 year legal proceeding through the family court to regain custody of my children.
As I was busy working overseas and did not have much time to commute back and forth to Singapore each time for court appearance, my first lawyer (from a local reputable firm) handled the issue on my behalf. The former in-laws demanded that I continue to pay them the same monthly maintenance fee that I had agreed with my late spouse during our amicable divorce agreement (which is a substantial amount agreed in foreign currency!). My argument all along was why should I continue paying my former in-laws for any such maintenance while my own children have been all along staying in our matrimonial flat and I had never failed in my parental obligation since Day One despite our divorce. The first court order ruled that all my children must not be separated but the former in-laws have since the very day of that court order issuance, broken the order by separating my children.
The former in-laws have also subsequently come to my Singapore home and took away my daughters to stay with them leaving behind my young son who refused to go with them at that time. The former mother-in-law kept my 2nd daugther while the former sister-in-law kept my eldest daughter, separately from each other some more! That was done on the very same day when the Family Court issued its first ruling of forcing me a joint custody for all my children with my former in-laws and imposed that I continued to pay them the so-called high monthly maintenance fee with my children travel documents being kept by them as well.
That was too much to bear given such strange ruling issued 2 years ago and I had to wait for a good half year before I hired another lawyer (from a small firm this time round) to help me seek a variation of the first Family Court Order. I managed to demonstrate in the second proceeding that my former in-laws were merely going after monetary gain and never really cared for my children’s welfare. The proof was since a year now, my daughters had run back to stay at my Singapore flat as they refused to remain with the former in-laws.
Subsequently, I tried to bring all my children to vacation to my home country so they can see for their own eyes the reality of the place despite being brainwashed by the former in-laws of the so-called backwardness of the place. Unfortunately, again only my son agreed to come with me at that time and I had to cancel the airtickets for my daugthers at the last minute though we had agreed initially to make the trip all of us as a family. They were simply being again convinced by the former in-laws that they would never returned to Singapore should they follow me to my home country.
As a properly educated person, I could not afford to run afoul of your Singapore law and since the first court order imposed that I had to seek permission from my former in-laws to get my children travel documents whenever I want to travel with them, I had to return those travel documents upon return from my trip. Again that was highly ridiculous of such court order treating me as though I am a criminal while these are my own flesh and blood children.
The consequence was my son has declared to the court at the second proceeding that he wanted to be with me, his father, in my home country and not in Singapore. The Family Court had no other choice but grant me full custody of my son and forced the surrender of my son’s Singapore passport to me by the former in-law but still maintained the order of joint custody for my daughters with their travel documents being retained by the former in-laws. However, due to my clear evidence that those former in-laws were only going after my money and started the whole thing just for monetary gain, the Family Court in its second order rescinded future request of any monthly maintenance cost to them.
Nonetheless, I was imposed the penalty to pay the former in-laws the hefty sum of nearly SGD 20,000/= for the few months that my 2 daughters were staying with them. That was despite my argument that (1) they took my daughters out of my house without my consent and during my absence from Singpaore (2) I never asked them to do so since the children were staying at my Singpaore home being looked after by the nanny who was with me for 10 years now (3) so why should I be penalized to pay such maintenance fees of nearly SGD 20K for just the few months that they took my daughters by force to be with them???
I am extremely sad and concerned that the Singapore court ruling had been so weird, denhying me of my rightful parental privilege, having to humiliate me to the point of me having to go to court just to seek back custody of my own children (while in other normal countries, such issue is automatic and nobody ever had to go court for that being the sole surviving parent!), humiliation is also that I was denied my right to educate my own children since the court by its repeated and second ruling forced the physical separation of my children. Now my son is residing in my home country with me while my 2 daughters are being kept in Singapore.
Only in Singpaore did I from personal experience see such amazzing thing occuring when the parent himself was denied of the right to look after his children and decide how to educate them. Why should the Singapore legal system force upon such ruling? I am totally astonished to see this happening and am still till today living in pain for not having my children together so that I could provide them overdue parental love as my daugthers are staying now with a friend who helped look after tham since the long serving nanny had to return home as her work permit was cancelled having reached retirement age.
This bitter experience only draw me further away from wanting to remain living in such environment and I long honestly for the day I could settle legally the fate of my daughters so that I could surrender my PR back to the authorities without regret.
My son is now staying happily with me and I have since remarried with an additional baby girl whom he adores. I even brought my current spouse to Singapore earlier this year to acquaint my daughters who also seemed to take a liking over their baby half sister as well but unfortunately, I am still entangled with this legal technicality imposed by the Singapore Family Court.
I am only sad that after 2 decades of PR in Singapore, my impression of the place has been spoilt by this problem. I am not asking for any sympathy from your Singpaorean readers with due respect to them and to your country, I only wish to share my concern over the discrepency resulting out of your legal system. I am currently still helpless and none the wiser as per how would I finally get my daughters to be reunited with me as a happy family together. Time will tell certainly.
Signed: a disappointed PR
http://www.webasaservice.com/usefulinfo/disappointed-pr-unhappy-with-singapore-family-court-ruling/
