Transmodified from hxxp://www.channelnewsasia.com/news/singapore/2-more-groups-of/630866.html
PEASANTPORE – Two more groups of households will take part in the No Inflation Survey conducted by the Department of Sex Statistics (DOS).
The latest phase of the survey will attempt to apply Quantum Mechanics locality principles to fudge the data as early returns proved inflation has risen more than 10% in Peasantpore. To skew the data, the regime will select rich merchants or grassroot cronies in Aljunied, Buangkok, Bukit Timah, Clementi, Jurong East, Tampines and Yishun to prove inflation is less than 2%.
The new groups of affluent households will be surveyed for half a full moon - one will start on 15 April and the other on 29 April.
Ruler Loong issue a decree stating that data collected will be used to update the weighting pattern and the basket of goods and services and a inflation rate is 2% or lesser is desired by whatever means employed by the Dept of Sex Statistics.
The data will also serve as proof, debunking netizens and opposition pariahs that Ruler Loong's 'Profits before Peasants' policies have created woeful inflation for poor peasants.
Survey cronies carrying dog tags and letters of authorisation issued by DOS will visit the selected merchant or grassroot cronies households.
Selected pro-regime merchant or grassroot cronies are kindly reminded to provide their full cooperation in the data fudging process. They simply have to report they spend less of their fat cat disposable incomes on cars and housing in a clever use of locality data to skew the survey.
Cronies and merchants who wish to verify the identity of the sex survey officers may call the ask them to recite the 'Loyalty to Ruler Loong' pledge to prove their lackey status.
PEASANTPORE – Two more groups of households will take part in the No Inflation Survey conducted by the Department of Sex Statistics (DOS).
The latest phase of the survey will attempt to apply Quantum Mechanics locality principles to fudge the data as early returns proved inflation has risen more than 10% in Peasantpore. To skew the data, the regime will select rich merchants or grassroot cronies in Aljunied, Buangkok, Bukit Timah, Clementi, Jurong East, Tampines and Yishun to prove inflation is less than 2%.
The new groups of affluent households will be surveyed for half a full moon - one will start on 15 April and the other on 29 April.
Ruler Loong issue a decree stating that data collected will be used to update the weighting pattern and the basket of goods and services and a inflation rate is 2% or lesser is desired by whatever means employed by the Dept of Sex Statistics.
The data will also serve as proof, debunking netizens and opposition pariahs that Ruler Loong's 'Profits before Peasants' policies have created woeful inflation for poor peasants.
Survey cronies carrying dog tags and letters of authorisation issued by DOS will visit the selected merchant or grassroot cronies households.
Selected pro-regime merchant or grassroot cronies are kindly reminded to provide their full cooperation in the data fudging process. They simply have to report they spend less of their fat cat disposable incomes on cars and housing in a clever use of locality data to skew the survey.
Cronies and merchants who wish to verify the identity of the sex survey officers may call the ask them to recite the 'Loyalty to Ruler Loong' pledge to prove their lackey status.
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