Better ways to teach girls about motherhood

[Mystery Machine]

Better ways to teach girls about motherhood
I REFER to the letter 'Serving family & country' (The New Paper, June 24).
29 June 2010

I REFER to the letter 'Serving family & country' (The New Paper, June 24).

I fail to see how national service (NS) can benefit our local women, if the letter writer's only aim is for them to learn about motherhood.

Please tell me, what aspect of motherhood are you supposed to learn about when you are tucked away on Pulau Tekong for days, weeks even?

It was mentioned that the training wouldn't be the same as what the boys go through, but what you have there are facilities like rifle ranges and live grenade-throwing areas.

Like it or not, NS is going to be physical and that idea alone will be met with apprehension from most of the local girls.

Sure, there are women riggers and women officers in the armed forces. But suppose you ask them: 'So, are you doing this to train yourself up to become a mother?' My guess is that they won't be amused by such a sexist question.

They serve our nation, kudos to them. It is their choice and they are free to do as they please.

Personally, being surrounded by women in school and at home, the idea of seeing them living military-style just doesn't sit right with me. Maybe it is that most of us males have been taught that we have to look out for them.

And we have seen how national service played out for girls in Malaysia. Even though it was only a trial that went on for some weeks, there were cases of discrimination, outrage of modesty and so on, which I wouldn't ever want to see happen to those close to me.

Surely there are better alternatives than NS to teach girls valuable lessons about life.

I am 20 years old and waiting for enlistment. Having finished my studies in a polytechnic earlier this year, I decided to step out of my comfort zone. A friend and I became camp instructors.

It was an enriching and humbling experience for both of us. I found myself able to communicate with the primary and secondary school teachers and picked up some tips on how to manage the students.

It was the same for my friend, who could endear herself to the kids while looking out for their safety. We managed to teach them important values like being mindful of the environment and taking care of their living quarters, not to mention standing by one another.

At the same time, while the students had fun, it was also a sort of character-building exercise for my friend and me.

Some of my other female friends have volunteered for non-profit organisations and are teaching less privileged kids or building houses in remote areas. There are also childcare teachers, pet groomers and other jobs that teach you about responsibility and caring about other living creatures.

These are surely more viable options than training under the blazing sun, doing frog squats. I was in a uniformed group in secondary school and I can attest to that.

It is easy to forget that girls tend to mature earlier than boys. Indeed, taken away from the comfort of their computers, air-conditioning and maids, most of the female students I met during the camp seemed mature beyond their years and they were always ready to look out for one of their own.

With these girls growing into womanhood, all hope isn't lost for this little red dot of ours.

READER YUEN MUN

Taken from The New Paper

 

[Unrepented]

Tooopid National Service (NS) is not just the armed forces only lah. Nursing can or not? Community services can or not?

 

[Mystery Machine]

Tooopid National Service (NS) is not just the armed forces only lah. Nursing can or not? Community services can or not?

Spoilt local princesses will find many excuses not to do work, starting from guys should do all the sai kang..

 

[jw5]

Keep them away from their mothers.

 

[wahlaneh]

wahlaneh...
nowsday young gers are watching porn in broad daylight in schools liao hor.

 

[peterlth]

wahlaneh...
nowsday young gers are watching porn in broad daylight in schools liao hor.

Well, the girls can learn to be nurses as national service. When the men fight wars, the women can be nurses giving them tender loving care.

 

[vamjok]

or they can be comfort ladies

 

[Jah_rastafar_I]

Well, the girls can learn to be nurses as national service. When the men fight wars, the women can be nurses giving them tender loving care.

pls lah u think stinkie bitches will endorse that? They will give all sorts of excuses.

 

[Mystery Machine]

pls lah u think stinkie bitches will endorse that? They will give all sorts of excuses.

And they are backed by wimpy PAP MPs and AWARE.

 

[sex6sex6sex6]

pse try to follow my thoughts:

before you could teach girls about motherhood don't you have to 1st teach them about manhood ?

so FUCK THEM ALL 1st!

 

[streetsmart73]

pls lah u think stinkie bitches will endorse that? They will give all sorts of excuses.

hi there


1. sheepishland gals take everything to their advantage proclaiming that they are the weaker specimen and the equality thing.
2. singing the same old tune here and there.
3. coming to such stuffs, bitches will not "lift' any finger man!
4. this is what they call equality.

 

[wikiphile]

I know its a little stupid to compare, but what they have here is great as compared elsewhere

The Afghan women jailed for 'bad character'

Many of the women inside the prison have been accused of 'moral crimes'
By Lyse Doucet
BBC Newsnight


Meet Sorarya and you meet "attitude".

It has something to do with the way she wears her red tunic and trousers, her short cropped black leather jacket, and the way she chews gum and rolls her eyes.



Sorarya is one of those jailed for 'bad character'
"What are you here for?" I ask as we sit in a makeshift beauty parlour, surrounded by a group of Afghan women in less flamboyant attire.

"Should I tell her?" she asks the other women with a mischievous grin.

"Bad character," she says after a moment's hesitation. She suppresses a giggle then doubles over with laughter. Everyone giggles with her.

Sorarya doesn't explain what that means. But almost every woman in this room has been accused of "bad character" of one kind or another.

Missing school

We are sitting in Badam Bagh, or Almond Garden, Afghanistan's only prison for women in the capital Kabul.

The prison is a window on a world where, outside these walls, women are constantly judged against a standard that makes many of their stories difficult to fathom.



Sabera (r) was jailed after a boy came to her house to propose
Sixteen-year-old Sabera, with a pretty yellow head scarf, frets that she is missing school.

"I was about to get engaged, and the boy came to ask me himself, before sending his parents. A lady in our neighbourhood saw us, and called the police," she explains.

She was sentenced to three years but, in an act of mercy, it was shortened to 18 months.

Fellow inmate Aziza was accused of running away from her husband. She says she was acquitted two months ago, but still languishes in prison.

A senior official in Afghanistan's Ministry for Women's Affairs told a recent UN workshop that about half of Afghanistan's 476 women prisoners were detained for "moral crimes".

That includes everything from running away from home, refusing to marry, marrying without their family's wishes, and "attempted adultery".

"In many cases women run away because they can't bear the domestic violence and then they are picked up and taken into custody for a long time," explains Nader Nadery, a commissioner at Afghanistan's Independent Human Rights Commission.

'What's my crime?'

The legal system further tips the scales of justice.

"Running away is not defined in any penal code," says Mr Nadery. "If there is no provision in law, they refer to Islamic Sharia law and this gives them an open hand."

Mastura is a waif of a woman, 19 years old, and accused of adultery by her husband.



Many women in the prison have run away from home
"I was three months pregnant, and he said the child wasn't his and he kicked me out of our house," she says, cradling her infant son as she perches on the edge of a metal bed in her communal cell.

"My mother lodged a complaint against him but the government locked me up."

All the women in her cell, from teenagers to an 80-year-old woman veiled in black, listen quietly as she tells us her story. But they must know it by now.

"Every time I think about it, I cry, and I say to myself, 'What crime have I committed that I should be in prison?'" wails Mastura. She appeals to President Hamid Karzai to allow all the women to go home.

Mastura named her son Izzatullah, which means "God's honour". For an alleged crime linked to his mother's "honour", he's been born a prisoner.

About 40 other young children also share their mother's fate, living in Badam Bagh.

They sit on tiny plastic chairs watching television in a room filled with stuffed toys, and bright colours.

It could be a kindergarten anywhere - except the toddlers are minded by a woman who has been convicted of murdering her stepson. She insists she is innocent.

Prison authorities say children are taken away to a boarding school after the age of five.

Handicraft classes

Badam Bagh, home to 147 women and children, was opened two years ago and markedly improved prison conditions for women.

They used to be held at Afghanistan's most notorious jail, Pul-e-Charki, which now has some 5,000 men.



If these women were treated with justice, I don't think 50% of them would be in here. They are here because of problems in the family or personal vendettas

Prison director Zarafshana
A separate facility was built, helped by foreign aid, after concern grew about women's conditions. An Afghan parliamentary report had highlighted cases of women being raped inside prison walls.

The new centre, a three-storey white building, is bright and clean, and women move freely between their cells and communal areas. Handicrafts allow them to earn some money, and computer classes teach new skills.

"Abuse and arbitrary detention is less widespread but there is still a concern about inadequate delivery of justice," says Mr Nadery.

"I know the reality of life for Afghan women," says Badam Bagh's no-nonsense prison director, Zarafshana. Unusual for an Afghan woman, she wears a business suit and no headscarf.

"If these women were treated with justice, I don't think 50% of them would be in here. They are here because of problems in the family or personal vendettas."

As we sit in a glassed in room with Zarafshana, we see Sorarya strutting down the corridor.

She told us she would be released today. But when we leave she is still waiting for clearance to re-join the world outside