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Angry Americans Are Promising To Move To Australia After The US Marriage Equality Dec
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Re: Angry Americans Are Promising To Move To Australia After The US Marriage Equality
Supreme Court On Gay Marriage: 'Sure, Who Cares'
NEWS
March 26, 2013
VOL 49 ISSUE 13
News · Supreme Court · Cooperation · Our Annual Year 2013
WASHINGTON—Ten minutes into oral arguments over whether or not homosexuals should be allowed to marry one another, a visibly confounded Supreme Court stopped legal proceedings Tuesday and ruled that gay marriage was “perfectly fine” and that the court could “care less who marries whom.”
“Yeah, of course gay men and women can get married. Who gives a shit?” said Chief Justice John Roberts, who interrupted attorney Charles Cooper’s opening statement defending Proposition 8, which rescinded same-sex couples’ right to marry in California. “Why are we even seriously discussing this?”
“Does anyone else up here care about this?” Roberts added as his eight colleagues began shaking their heads and saying, “No,” “Nah,” and “I also don’t care about this.” “Great. Same-sex marriage is legal in the United States of America. Do we have anything of actual import on the docket, or are we done for the day?”
Before Roberts officially ended proceedings, sources confirmed that all nine justices were reportedly dumbfounded, asking why the case was even coming before them and wondering aloud if some sort of mistake had been made. Calling marriage equality a “no-brainer,” members of the High Court appeared not just confused but irritated when Proposition 8 defenders argued that gay marriage was not a national issue but a state matter.
Moreover, when Attorney Cooper said that gay marriage could harm the moral fabric of the country and hurt the institution of marriage, Associate Justice Sotomayor asked, “What are you even talking about?” while Justice Anthony Kennedy reportedly muttered, “You got to be fucking kidding me,” under his breath.
“I have to interject, Mr. Cooper,” Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg said as the attorney argued that the government has legitimate reasons to discourage same-sex couples from getting married. “Do you honestly care this much about this issue? Because if you do, you’re a real goddamn idiot. Actually, you sound as dumb as dog shit, and you are wasting our time.”
“Should gay marriage be legal?” Ginsburg continued. “Yes. Done. Case closed. Goodbye. Christ, were we seriously scheduled to spend the next few months debating this?”
Even the typically conservative wing of the court maintained that, despite their personal views, it would be “downright silly” for them to rule that same-sex marriage was unconstitutional.
“I’m a strict Originalist, Mr. Cooper, and I’m looking at a 14th Amendment that forbids any state from denying any person equal protection of the law,” Associate Justice Antonin Scalia said. “So, unless we are the most uncivilized society on the face of God’s green earth, I think we can all agree that a gay person is in fact a person. So what I’m saying is, who the fuck are we to tell a person who he or she can get married to? This is dumb. Can we talk about a real case now, please?”
Before adjourning the court, Roberts said there would be no official opinion on the case because it’s just “common goddamn sense,” and then addressed gay men and women directly.
“Get married, don’t get married, do whatever you want,” Roberts said. “It’s the opinion of this court that we don’t give two shits what you do.”
“C’mon, let’s go get some food,” added Roberts, as the eight other justices followed him out the door.
http://www.theonion.com/article/supreme-court-on-gay-marriage-sure-who-cares-31812
Supreme Court On Gay Marriage: 'Sure, Who Cares'
NEWS
March 26, 2013
VOL 49 ISSUE 13
News · Supreme Court · Cooperation · Our Annual Year 2013
WASHINGTON—Ten minutes into oral arguments over whether or not homosexuals should be allowed to marry one another, a visibly confounded Supreme Court stopped legal proceedings Tuesday and ruled that gay marriage was “perfectly fine” and that the court could “care less who marries whom.”
“Yeah, of course gay men and women can get married. Who gives a shit?” said Chief Justice John Roberts, who interrupted attorney Charles Cooper’s opening statement defending Proposition 8, which rescinded same-sex couples’ right to marry in California. “Why are we even seriously discussing this?”
“Does anyone else up here care about this?” Roberts added as his eight colleagues began shaking their heads and saying, “No,” “Nah,” and “I also don’t care about this.” “Great. Same-sex marriage is legal in the United States of America. Do we have anything of actual import on the docket, or are we done for the day?”
Before Roberts officially ended proceedings, sources confirmed that all nine justices were reportedly dumbfounded, asking why the case was even coming before them and wondering aloud if some sort of mistake had been made. Calling marriage equality a “no-brainer,” members of the High Court appeared not just confused but irritated when Proposition 8 defenders argued that gay marriage was not a national issue but a state matter.
Moreover, when Attorney Cooper said that gay marriage could harm the moral fabric of the country and hurt the institution of marriage, Associate Justice Sotomayor asked, “What are you even talking about?” while Justice Anthony Kennedy reportedly muttered, “You got to be fucking kidding me,” under his breath.
“I have to interject, Mr. Cooper,” Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg said as the attorney argued that the government has legitimate reasons to discourage same-sex couples from getting married. “Do you honestly care this much about this issue? Because if you do, you’re a real goddamn idiot. Actually, you sound as dumb as dog shit, and you are wasting our time.”
“Should gay marriage be legal?” Ginsburg continued. “Yes. Done. Case closed. Goodbye. Christ, were we seriously scheduled to spend the next few months debating this?”
Even the typically conservative wing of the court maintained that, despite their personal views, it would be “downright silly” for them to rule that same-sex marriage was unconstitutional.
“I’m a strict Originalist, Mr. Cooper, and I’m looking at a 14th Amendment that forbids any state from denying any person equal protection of the law,” Associate Justice Antonin Scalia said. “So, unless we are the most uncivilized society on the face of God’s green earth, I think we can all agree that a gay person is in fact a person. So what I’m saying is, who the fuck are we to tell a person who he or she can get married to? This is dumb. Can we talk about a real case now, please?”
Before adjourning the court, Roberts said there would be no official opinion on the case because it’s just “common goddamn sense,” and then addressed gay men and women directly.
“Get married, don’t get married, do whatever you want,” Roberts said. “It’s the opinion of this court that we don’t give two shits what you do.”
“C’mon, let’s go get some food,” added Roberts, as the eight other justices followed him out the door.
http://www.theonion.com/article/supreme-court-on-gay-marriage-sure-who-cares-31812
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Re: Angry Americans Are Promising To Move To Australia After The US Marriage Equality
Faggots make up about 10% of the population but soo much time, energy n effort is wasted to change laws etc to accommodate them. Governments should spend more time on the economy etc. Things tat will improve people's livelihoods. And the biggest beneficiaries are divorce lawyers. Dumbasses don't even know who the beneficiaries are.
Faggots make up about 10% of the population but soo much time, energy n effort is wasted to change laws etc to accommodate them. Governments should spend more time on the economy etc. Things tat will improve people's livelihoods. And the biggest beneficiaries are divorce lawyers. Dumbasses don't even know who the beneficiaries are.
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Re: Angry Americans Are Promising To Move To Australia After The US Marriage Equality
this spells dooms day for the world as we know it, theres going to be turmoil and disorder
this spells dooms day for the world as we know it, theres going to be turmoil and disorder
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Re: Angry Americans Are Promising To Move To Australia After The US Marriage Equality
They should move to Sinkapore because PAP is the bastion of conservatism. PAP can protect their wealth, squeeze sinkees to work as slaves for foreigners and let these angmos do as they please (beating up sinkees is totally acceptable and protected by the PAP law).
They should move to Sinkapore because PAP is the bastion of conservatism. PAP can protect their wealth, squeeze sinkees to work as slaves for foreigners and let these angmos do as they please (beating up sinkees is totally acceptable and protected by the PAP law).
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Re: Angry Americans Are Promising To Move To Australia After The US Marriage Equality
people are gay because they do not need to get married. now that this can be done, their numbers will start to decrease.
people are gay because they do not need to get married. now that this can be done, their numbers will start to decrease.
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