* ALL Questions about the Christian Life *

[Patriot]

How should Christians handle disputes (Matthew 18:15-17)?​

Answer

Christians have often turned to the principles of Matthew 18 for guidance in handling disputes. There Jesus says, “If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over. But if they will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’ If they still refuse to listen, tell it to the church; and if they refuse to listen even to the church, treat them as you would a pagan or a tax collector” (verses 15–17). From these verses, several guidelines can be found for resolving conflicts between Christians.

First, a Christian who has a conflict with another Christian is called to address the matter with the other person personally. When matters are handled privately, misunderstanding can be addressed, and there is great potential for the other person to respond positively. In addition, a private meeting helps to avoid the problem of gossip that can occur when a matter is taken to others instead of the person involved.

Second, if a private discussion does not solve the issue, a Christian is to take one or two other believers and meet with the person with whom they have conflict. The clause “that every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses” refers to the Old Testament law that required a charge to be supported by two or more witnesses to be valid. In the case of personal conflict, this principle allows for additional witnesses to observe the matter firsthand and help determine the proper course of action.

Third, when there is no resolution after steps one and two, the matter is to be taken before the local church. Only in rare cases will a Christian seeking to follow the Lord refuse to resolve conflict when the entire congregation is involved.

Finally, if the person in the center of the conflict refuses to respond positively even when the entire congregation is involved, then that person is to be considered as “a pagan or a tax collector.” This simply means to excommunicate the person, removing the negative influence from the congregation.

In 1 Corinthians 5, the apostle Paul speaks of a believer who had been sexually immoral, apparently with his stepmother. Rather than condemning the act, the Corinthian Christians had tolerated the behavior. Paul taught they should remove this person from their church family (1 Corinthians 5:3). Later, in 2 Corinthians, this same person had turned from this lifestyle, and Paul advised the Corinthian believers to accept him again. The goal of discipline is not to be mean or cold-hearted but to condemn sinful behavior and issue a call to change. In 2 Corinthians 2:8, Paul writes, “I beg you to reaffirm your love for him” (ESV).

Christians are called to handle disputes in love, with a goal of restoration. Conflict should be handled according to the steps listed in Matthew 18. This style of conflict resolution is based on a desire for holy living and love for the person who has committed wrong.

For Further Study​

Church Discipline: How the Church Protects the Name of Jesus by Jonathan Leeman

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[Patriot]

How can I stop doubting Jesus?​

Answer

When we find ourselves doubting something, there is a sense of uncertainty, not knowing if the thing is true or false. The Bible likens this attitude to “double-mindedness” (James 1:6–8). Double-minded thinking results in a person’s beliefs always changing, never coming to a determined conviction. A mind that constantly doubts Jesus and what He teaches will never be at peace because, like a ship in the middle of a storm, it is tossed to and fro with no hope of rest.

Doubting Jesus and faith are in direct opposition. Hebrews 11:1 states, “Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.” When Christians have a healthy faith, they have “assurance” and “conviction.” They are sure of faith’s object, even though they have not seen the evidence with their eyes.

Jesus said all believers must become “like children” in order to inherit the kingdom of heaven (Matthew 18:3). Childlike faith differs from a doubting faith in that children are trusting and ready to receive whatever they ask for without questions or fear. When a parent makes a promise, a child naturally believes. He does not worry about whether or not the parent will follow through (unless the parent has made a habit of deceit or unreliability). Even when parents tell absurdities like tales of the tooth fairy and the Easter bunny, how readily a child believes! Perhaps the child’s faith is partly because he wants to believe such wondrous things, but it is mostly because he easily trusts the parent. When a child lays his head down to sleep, he doesn’t worry or fret or become anxious about what tomorrow will bring; his sleep is sound and deep. Jesus wants us to trust Him with the heart of a child and without the skepticism of an adult.

So how does a Christian become childlike in faith and stop doubting Jesus? First of all, by remembering God is our Heavenly Father (John 1:12; Romans 8:15). God wants to be known to His children as a loving, compassionate, ever-present, never-wavering parent (1 John 3:1). The Bible calls believers God’s “sons” (meaning daughters also) numerous times (e.g., Ephesians 1:5; Romans 8:14; Galatians 4:7). If Christians know they are children of God, having been adopted into His family, it ought to help them gain the childlike faith Jesus spoke of. Our Father in heaven desires to “give good things to those who ask him!” (Matthew 7:11). The best thing to know about God as Father is that He is perfect, with none of the sinful shortcomings that accompany human parenthood. All of God’s attributes are perfect, and, even when He disciplines His children, it’s because He loves them (Hebrews 12:6–8).

Second, consider who Jesus is: the express revelation of God Himself (Hebrews 1:3; John 14:9–11). “Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God; believe also in me,” Jesus said (John 14:1). Jesus’ trustworthiness was validated by the testimony of the Father (John 8:18) and confirmed by the miracles He did (John 14:11).

Third, in order to stop doubting Jesus, a Christian must constantly recall the cross (Hebrews 12:2). When a believer meditates on what Christ did as our Redeemer, he will see how deep and strong Jesus’ love is for His sheep (John 10:11; Ephesians 3:17–19). If Jesus was willing to go to the cross and die a horrible death on our behalf, would He withhold anything else that would be good for us (see Psalm 84:11)?

The natural mind tends to doubt and fear and question what the Bible says rather than simply believe. To overcome doubt, a Christian should continually seek God through Bible study and prayer. He should commit to a local body of believers to be fed by biblical preaching and have fellowship with like-minded believers. In this way, the doubtful mind can and will become increasingly stable, Jesus-focused, and able to find peace (Isaiah 26:3).

For Further Study​

The ESV Study Bible

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[Patriot]

Is it wrong for a Christian to be an introvert?​

Answer

Introversion and extroversion are personality traits, measured on a scale, that refer to how people tend to relate to the world. The more introverted, the more a person tends to focus on his inner world. The more extroverted, the more a person tends to focus on the outer world. All people do some of both, but generally prefer one over the other. Those who tend more toward introversion are popularly called introverts. Some think of introverts as loners who find strength in solitude; others think of introverts as shy people (but not all, or even most, who tend more toward introversion are shy). No, it is not wrong for a Christian to be an introvert (or an extrovert). However, there are some tendencies that an introvert should watch out for.

In general, introverts avoid crowds, dislike small talk, enjoy long periods of solitude, and prefer deep conversations to party chatter. They are often introspective and realistic about their own flaws. They gravitate toward one or two solid friendships rather than surround themselves with acquaintances. They tend to enjoy creative aspects of self-expression such as art, writing, or music. Many of the world’s greatest artists, authors, and musicians were introverts.

Whereas extroverts are energized by being around others, introverts are energized by periods of solitude and reflection. As long as the quietness does not become depression or alienation, it can be spiritually beneficial. Prayer, meditation, and waiting upon God often require long periods of stillness to be effective. Introverts are often better at biblical meditation than extroverts because it complements their natural tendencies. The danger for an introvert is in becoming overly introspective. Introverts may tend to live inside their heads rather than serving others the way Jesus commanded (John 13:34; 1 Peter 4:10).

Introversion is not synonymous with unhealthy self-focus. Both introverts and extroverts can struggle with self-absorption, and it is always wrong. A naturally boisterous, friendly person can be sinfully self-focused by striving to draw attention to himself (Romans 12:3).

God created us with varying strengths, weaknesses, and personality types. He can use anyone who submits to Him, and He is often most glorified through our weaknesses (2 Corinthians 12:9). When introverts have totally submitted their lives to the lordship of Jesus Christ, they can be mighty prayer warriors, mentors, and teachers. Spirit-filled introverts use their God-given nature for the glory of God and relish long, fruitful times of worship, soul-searching, and Bible study. When they allow the Holy Spirit to move them beyond their comfort zones, they can then share with others the rich insights God has given them.

There are a few things that can hinder an introvert’s service to God. When their natural quietness is motivated by insecurity or fear, introverts often withdraw from people. They may refuse to engage with others as instructed in Scripture (1 Peter 4:10). This kind of solitude limits them spiritually. Introspection can also lead to a critical spirit. Too much focus on self can result in judging others or even ourselves (Matthew 7:1–2). Introverts may also use their natural reticence as an excuse to avoid taking on responsibilities at church or actively witnessing for Christ. Jesus made no such distinctions in His instructions to us about serving our world and loving others (Acts 1:8; Matthew 10:18–19). The Great Commission is for introverts, too.

Philippians 2:3 says we are to “consider others as better than ourselves.” Some introverts may see this verse as confirmation that they are to see themselves as inferior. A healthy self-image is one in which we see ourselves exactly as God does: no better and no worse. We are to see ourselves as “God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do” (Ephesians 2:10). Whether introverted or extroverted, Christians need to remember that their temperaments are gifts from God to be used for His glory (1 Corinthians 10:31).

For Further Study​

The ESV Study Bible

More insights from your Bible study - Get Started with Logos Bible Software for Free!