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Math's Teacher: If you have 12 Chocolates and you Give 5 to Lilian, 3 to Marianne and 4 to Patty Then what will u get???? Student: 3 New Girlfriends Mam!!!

A farmer rears twenty-five young hens and one old cock. As he feels that the old cock could no longer handle his job efficiently, the farmer bought one young cock from the market. Old cock to Young cock : "Welcome to join me, we will work together towards productivity. Young cock ...

Always take notice of the Cab Driver > > A man, returning home a day early from a business trip, got > into a taxi at the airport. It was after midnight. While > en route to his home, he asked the cabby if he would be a > witness. The man suspected his wife was having an affair, > and...

'A little guy is sitting at the bar just staring at his > drink for half an hour when this big trouble-making bikie > steps next to him, grabs his drink, gulps it down in one > swig and then turns to the guy with a menacing stare as if > to say, What'cha gonna do about it? The poor little...

Two blokes are in the change room when one notices his mate > putting on a pair of womens knickers. The bloke knows his > mate to be a normally conservative fellow, and is curious > about his sudden change in fashion sense so he says to him. > 'I didn't know you were into women's >...

From the hallowed halls of Chicago's city hall we have this message: Mrs. Donovan was walking down O'Connell Street in Dublin when she met up with Father Flaherty. The Father said, 'Top o' the mornin' to ye! Aren't ye Mrs. Donovan and didn't I marry ye and yer hoosband 2 years ago?' She...

A teacher gave her class of 11 year olds an assignment: To get their > parent to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The nextday > the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories.Ashley > said, 'My father's a farmer and we have a lot of egg laying hens...One > time...

A little boy went up to his father and asked : "Dad, where did all of my intelligence come from ? " His father replied : " Well, son, you must have gotten it from your mother, because I still have mine. " Jimmy's teacher sent a note home to his mother, saying : " Jimmy seems to...

What did the gangster's son tell his dad when he failed his examination? " Dad, they questioned me for 3 hours, but I never told them anything !! " When I was young I used to pray for a bike, then I realized that God doesn't work that way, so I stole a bike and prayed for forgiveness.

Little Johnny attended a horse auction with his father. He watched as hisfather moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down thehorse's legs and rump, and chest.After a few minutes, Johnny asked, 'Dad, why are you doing that?' His father replied, 'Because when I'm buying...

Little Johnny's kindergarten class was on a field trip to > their localpolice station where they saw pictures tacked to a bulletin board of the10 most wanted criminals One of the youngsters pointed to a picture andasked if it really was the photo of a wanted person.'Yes,' said the...

Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream onher face.'Why do you do that, mommy?' he asked. 'To make myself beautiful,' saidhis mother,who then began removing the cream with a tissue. 'What's the matter?'asked Little Johnny. 'Giving up?'

Little Johnny's at it again..... A new teacher was trying to make use ofher psychology courses. She started her class by saying, 'Everyone whothinks they're stupid, stand up!' After a few seconds, Little Johnnystood up. The teacher said, 'Do you think you're stupid, Little Johnny?''No...

Air India Surinder Singh's uncle was booked into an Air India flight to Bombay . But as this was his first time in an aeroplane, he made a few preparations that were out of place. When the stewardess came around to take orders for the in-flight meal, the uncle declared loudly, 'I have...

Driving to work this morning on the M8 motorway, a guy looked over and there was a woman in a brand new BMW doing 90 miles an hour in the outside lane! With her face up close to her rear view mirror putting on her eyeliner! He looked away for a couple of seconds and when he looked back she...

BENEFITS OF GETTING OLD.......... Someone had to remind me, so I'm reminding you, too. Don 't laugh.... It is all true! Perks of reaching 50 or being over 60 and heading towards 70! 1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you. 2. In a hostage situation, you are likely to be released...

A senior citizen goes in for his yearly physical with his wife tagging along. When the doctor enters the examination room he says, "I will need a urine sample, a stool sample, and a sperm sample." The man, being hard of hearing, turns to his wife and asks, "What did he say?" The wife...

INSTALLING HUSBAND (MUST READ) A desperate woman writes to the Technical support Guy, Dear Tech Support, Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and I noticed a distinct slowdown in the overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewellery applications...

Thank you. I will return the favour as soon as I can.

He asked his sister not to buy. He himself didnt buy I think.