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Pubs, dance clubs are created for one reason. To. Find companion and engage in conversation.
Serious Why do many middle-aged men like me have absolutely NO FRIENDS - and what toll does it take on our health?
- Thread starter krafty
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suggestions: let's see
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This cb will backstabe u .cheat u $$ and run away to kuching
Dont be dumb lah. The people who post here are real people. Not bots.Autonomous nicks that you known in virtual world are friends
How old you now ?
And many of us will say we are friends. Not like you hostile arrogant know it all can never be wrong.
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People that we dun know in real life are called strangers
And in real life you surely kana conned by many loose women
I have actually met some of the people on this forum in person.People that we dun know in real life are called strangers
And in real life you surely kana conned by many loose women
They are not strangers.
@Charlie99 it was good having dinner with you and your family in Toronto last Friday!
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end of the day, it's your own life and you live it the way you want it.
whether you want friends or being in a relationship or not, it's your own decision.
whether you want friends or being in a relationship or not, it's your own decision.
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Haha friends...I just started an online biz selling t shirts...none of my friends have made a purchase so far...and it's only $12 for one
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The best thing in life is depend on ourselves.
I dun believe in friendships & sometimes relatives can also leave you in time of needs.
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Totally agree
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Die Krafty Die! You worthless piece of shit!
You have lousy friends and relatives. I feel sorry for you.
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The same for you ... your so-called good friends only want you to buy them alcohol like cheap beer
Your wife & children only interested in your money & they never really care about you
No I have good friends. And I have a good family and relatives.The same for you ... your so-called good friends only want you to buy them alcohol like cheap beer
Your wife & children only interested in your money & they never really care about you
Just because your friends and relatives are like that to you doesn't mean it's the same for other people.
Take care. Hope things get better for you. Go easy on the gambling.
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You take care of your money too .. dun get con by your good friends & relatives
Why you got cheated before? Take care you bloke.
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Haha Bossman Sam hits nail on the head!
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Male friendships: Why do men drift apart in midlife?
Nick Harding20:34, Dec 02 2019
123RF
"Men have a capacity to form working friendships with anyone, whereas female friendships are much more targeted and specific and perhaps more demanding."
OPINION: Paul* and I were once inseparable. We were part of a close-knit group of friends who spent many happy years together between our late teens and mid-twenties, sharing experiences that should have bonded us for life.
For several years we worked in bars together and backpacked around Central America one summer. Then, one day, he had a work commitment and missed my birthday party.
Afterwards, something changed. I didn't feel he had a good enough reason to miss what had been a meticulously planned event. From then on there was always a slight kink in what had been a perfect bromance.
I stopped calling him and he stopped calling me. Nothing happened; there were no rows or fights over women. It just fizzled out. We now haven't spoken for well over 20 years. However, within the paradigm of male friendship, he's still classed as a mate.
* Why you probably make closer friendships at the gym than at work
* Friendships more valuable than other relationships
* Rise of the 'bromance' threatens men's relationships with women
The pattern is one many middle-aged men will be familiar with. As we got older, friendships lapse. One by one, the large cohort of male compadres I hung out with through my twenties and thirties were pruned away like dead wood.
Wives and children came along. Lives got busy and friendships I spent years cultivating faded. I always felt slightly guilty, but never guilty enough to do anything about it.
Which is why I was so relieved to read about Elton John and Rod Stewart and the abrupt end of their long amity. According to Rod, Elton has given him the cold shoulder since March 2018 over an innocuous comment made in an interview.
The stars had been trading quips and practical jokes with each other for 50 years, but it appears Rod went one bant too far when he suggested in a television interview that his pal's farewell tours were becoming a bit of a habit.
Rod explained: "I did email her [Elton] and said: 'What, again, dear?' And I didn't hear anything back."
GETTY IMAGES
Elton John with Rod Stewart at the Olympia, London, UK, 22nd December 1978.
They've not spoken since. Perhaps the wisecrack was too near the knuckle. But still, 19 months of silence?
I know too well how the longer the silence, the harder it is to reconnect. But losing a friend like this can be more brutal for men because we often have far fewer friends than women.
When I first met my wife 10 years ago, she was concerned about my reliance on a few very close long-standing male pals. She implored me to find more.
I was encouraged to join a cycling club and she even dragged me along to salsa classes. The aim was to build me a supportive network of male companionship - a mirror image of her female clique. It didn't work. I simply prefer the comfort of an old pal.
I'm not anti-social or introverted; indeed, I love socialising. A straw poll of other male middle-aged friends (yes, I do have them) confirms that I am not alone in this.
One friend explains how, on his daily commute, he actively avoids any colleagues or friends he sees on the train. He'll even change carriages, rather than talk to people he knows.
123RF
The pattern is one many middle-aged men will be familiar with. As we got older, friendships lapse.
Several friends confirmed that after divorces, they never bothered keeping in touch with the husbands of their ex-wives' friends, whom they socialised with regularly as couples.
And there is a likely evolutionary reason for this, as Robin Dunbar, professor of evolutionary psychology at Oxford University, explains:
"It's not been particularly well worked out, but one suggestion is that women in traditional hunter-gatherer societies moved from their family grouping into men's family groups and needed to bond and mix with in-laws and extended family. They had to form close bonds with people who were not their own family."
And this, explains Dunbar, is why Rod and Elton, Paul and I and countless other male bromances come to an end, sometimes abruptly, while women's friendships tend to endure.
"If women have friends who move away, they will keep in touch on the phone or through social media, whereas with men, it's a case of out of sight, out of mind," he says.
"Men have a capacity to form working friendships with anyone, whereas female friendships are much more targeted and specific and perhaps more demanding."
But when an old friend disappears, I can't pretend it doesn't hurt. I still wonder what Paul is doing, what we would make of each other if we met up again for a night of reminiscing.
The trouble is, the time spent apart has brought a silence between us that I can't bring myself to break.
So, anyone out there fancy a pint?
* Some names have been changed
Nick Harding20:34, Dec 02 2019
123RF
"Men have a capacity to form working friendships with anyone, whereas female friendships are much more targeted and specific and perhaps more demanding."
OPINION: Paul* and I were once inseparable. We were part of a close-knit group of friends who spent many happy years together between our late teens and mid-twenties, sharing experiences that should have bonded us for life.
For several years we worked in bars together and backpacked around Central America one summer. Then, one day, he had a work commitment and missed my birthday party.
Afterwards, something changed. I didn't feel he had a good enough reason to miss what had been a meticulously planned event. From then on there was always a slight kink in what had been a perfect bromance.
I stopped calling him and he stopped calling me. Nothing happened; there were no rows or fights over women. It just fizzled out. We now haven't spoken for well over 20 years. However, within the paradigm of male friendship, he's still classed as a mate.
* Why you probably make closer friendships at the gym than at work
* Friendships more valuable than other relationships
* Rise of the 'bromance' threatens men's relationships with women
The pattern is one many middle-aged men will be familiar with. As we got older, friendships lapse. One by one, the large cohort of male compadres I hung out with through my twenties and thirties were pruned away like dead wood.
Wives and children came along. Lives got busy and friendships I spent years cultivating faded. I always felt slightly guilty, but never guilty enough to do anything about it.
Which is why I was so relieved to read about Elton John and Rod Stewart and the abrupt end of their long amity. According to Rod, Elton has given him the cold shoulder since March 2018 over an innocuous comment made in an interview.
The stars had been trading quips and practical jokes with each other for 50 years, but it appears Rod went one bant too far when he suggested in a television interview that his pal's farewell tours were becoming a bit of a habit.
Rod explained: "I did email her [Elton] and said: 'What, again, dear?' And I didn't hear anything back."
GETTY IMAGES
Elton John with Rod Stewart at the Olympia, London, UK, 22nd December 1978.
They've not spoken since. Perhaps the wisecrack was too near the knuckle. But still, 19 months of silence?
I know too well how the longer the silence, the harder it is to reconnect. But losing a friend like this can be more brutal for men because we often have far fewer friends than women.
When I first met my wife 10 years ago, she was concerned about my reliance on a few very close long-standing male pals. She implored me to find more.
I was encouraged to join a cycling club and she even dragged me along to salsa classes. The aim was to build me a supportive network of male companionship - a mirror image of her female clique. It didn't work. I simply prefer the comfort of an old pal.
I'm not anti-social or introverted; indeed, I love socialising. A straw poll of other male middle-aged friends (yes, I do have them) confirms that I am not alone in this.
One friend explains how, on his daily commute, he actively avoids any colleagues or friends he sees on the train. He'll even change carriages, rather than talk to people he knows.
123RF
The pattern is one many middle-aged men will be familiar with. As we got older, friendships lapse.
Several friends confirmed that after divorces, they never bothered keeping in touch with the husbands of their ex-wives' friends, whom they socialised with regularly as couples.
And there is a likely evolutionary reason for this, as Robin Dunbar, professor of evolutionary psychology at Oxford University, explains:
"It's not been particularly well worked out, but one suggestion is that women in traditional hunter-gatherer societies moved from their family grouping into men's family groups and needed to bond and mix with in-laws and extended family. They had to form close bonds with people who were not their own family."
And this, explains Dunbar, is why Rod and Elton, Paul and I and countless other male bromances come to an end, sometimes abruptly, while women's friendships tend to endure.
"If women have friends who move away, they will keep in touch on the phone or through social media, whereas with men, it's a case of out of sight, out of mind," he says.
"Men have a capacity to form working friendships with anyone, whereas female friendships are much more targeted and specific and perhaps more demanding."
But when an old friend disappears, I can't pretend it doesn't hurt. I still wonder what Paul is doing, what we would make of each other if we met up again for a night of reminiscing.
The trouble is, the time spent apart has brought a silence between us that I can't bring myself to break.
So, anyone out there fancy a pint?
* Some names have been changed
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