- Joined
- Feb 13, 2017
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- 3,708
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I was diagnosed HIV positive earlier this year during a routine mobile testing clinic held in school.
My initial reaction upon being told the news was far from the norm - often people react in fear, anguish or anger but in my case, a very calm "oh" was all that came out of my mouth. Deep down inside I had already expected it. I had been ruthless with my body. It's hard to believe but from the time I lost my virginity, and thanks to my heavy usage of dating apps I'd slept with more men than I can count in 1.5 years. If you ask me now, I can't exactly pinpoint where exactly my impulses came from. I think I wanted to feel important. That few minutes (sometimes hours), I was the centre of attention. With every dick, every tongue stuck inside me, I was his (or often, their) object of fascination. Maybe I was needy, I craved that sensation cuz I was tryna fill the void. But what I can say for sure is, I was careless. I was naive. No condom? Never mind, he said he was "safe". He said he got tested recently. So in a sense, I knew deep down that I deserved it. Among the few people whom I've revealed this to, many have reacted in pity. Of course, the question of who gave it to me arises and to be honest, till this day thanks to my promiscuity I have no idea. Also I hadn't gotten tested regularly henceforth I can't pinpoint a specific time frame.
More at https://tinyurI.com/y46uceda
My initial reaction upon being told the news was far from the norm - often people react in fear, anguish or anger but in my case, a very calm "oh" was all that came out of my mouth. Deep down inside I had already expected it. I had been ruthless with my body. It's hard to believe but from the time I lost my virginity, and thanks to my heavy usage of dating apps I'd slept with more men than I can count in 1.5 years. If you ask me now, I can't exactly pinpoint where exactly my impulses came from. I think I wanted to feel important. That few minutes (sometimes hours), I was the centre of attention. With every dick, every tongue stuck inside me, I was his (or often, their) object of fascination. Maybe I was needy, I craved that sensation cuz I was tryna fill the void. But what I can say for sure is, I was careless. I was naive. No condom? Never mind, he said he was "safe". He said he got tested recently. So in a sense, I knew deep down that I deserved it. Among the few people whom I've revealed this to, many have reacted in pity. Of course, the question of who gave it to me arises and to be honest, till this day thanks to my promiscuity I have no idea. Also I hadn't gotten tested regularly henceforth I can't pinpoint a specific time frame.
More at https://tinyurI.com/y46uceda
