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- Oct 20, 2015
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I am a bit emotionally misplaced at the moment and hence this thread.
Lucidity tells me this is the erroneous place to get guidance, but as I can't talk about this matter with my friends (at this moment), the lesser of 2 evils tells me this is the only outlet I have ~ at least at this very moment ~ to air my congested brains and get some clarity in thoughts (if any).
So, if you are sane and constructive, offer your thoughts and opinions from your male perspective and I will appreciate. Otherwise, keep your unkind comments to yourself and you wouldn’t be missed a single tiny winy bit.
How shall I start???
Ummm, there is this senior management guy in the office which I detested a great deal. I had always found him "humsup" whenever he approached me for corporate legal advice. His eyes would always be "roaming" around my body and I felt "violated", albeit mentally. So, my principle has always been to stay away from him as much as possible in office unless there are official matters for discussion.
Gossips amongst the other colleagues transpired that he is divorced and had a series of romances. Naturally, with time, my prejudices became the foundation to "hate" him, though professionally I would collaborate in terms of work issues.
A couple of weeks ago, he decided to quit. Strangely, I was invited to his farewell dinner last Friday at The American Club and drinks thereafter. Dinner went on fine with a couple of his subordinates and his peers in senior management delivering farewell speeches. From what I sensed from those speeches, this guy seemed to take good care of his lads and is very popular with his peers too.
During after-dinner drinks, he approached me as I happened to be drinking alone (as my other close colleague went to the ladies). We chatted ~ despite my "prejudices" about him and he was leaving the organization anyway, so I didn’t want to spoil his farewell mood.
He started impressing upon me as a young senior manager in this MNC, I should learn to thrive in office politics and “showmanship” so that I wouldn't be bullied by others, especially the foreigners.
The conversation went on till my close colleague returned from the ladies who then remarked to my ears that "the 色狼 was looking at your low cut blouse while talking to you just now...". Strangely, I didn't seem to mind.
After drinks, I said my goodbyes to all and headed to the taxi-stand (as my close colleague was picked up by her husband). Whilst in the long queue, I heard my name being called and turned around ~ it was him. He asked me if I am free to join him for a drink at Union Bar at the ground floor of the Club. Looking at the long queue and in my high heels which were now a little painful for my calves, I obliged.
Over drinks, my "revulsion" of him seemed to dilute into curiosity. Perhaps the drinks, or perhaps I was less "on-guard" and becoming comfortable with his "paternal and protective" concerns, which then somewhat transformed into admiration for him which made me feel desired and appreciated. As you know, I never believed in the concept of “Alpha male” and he is not one even if there is such a creature of imagination.
He then expressed me he liked me and asked if I want to spend the night with him. Strangely, all the negative aspects I previously had about him seemed to fade away into thin air, and I agreed. Hopped into his Merc CLK and I allowed him to "french" me once we were inside. Not sure why I didn’t resist. Could be the drinks or it could be I am charmed by him. Drove off and I was in his apartment ~ which I like his taste of Zen furnishing and decor. He popped a bottle of Krug Rosé and we continued to chat through the night.
Time must have passed pretty quickly, I woke up the next morning in his arms. He told me to relax in my slightly “hangover” state, whilst he prepared breakfast. Freshened up and in his oversized work shirt (which he asked me to put on), we had breakfast. Sobering up and in the midst of breakfast, he asked if I want to continue this relationship. I said ok without much thought (then), as I am not attached anyway.
Through the course of this week, I have developed a few concerns about this relationship ~ He is in his late 40s and slightly > 12 years my senior. We do not have common friends and it would be strange when we go out with his “aged” friends or my younger crowd of friends. My friends would definitely look at me in a "funny" way for getting hitched with an "uncle". My parents will be wondering if I am "cheated" by an "experienced plunderer".
It has been a week since last Friday. We have either met for dinner or he picked me up to and from work and sort of like "a couple in love".
Last night, he asked me to move in with him.
Should I?
PS : It feels much better now that I have aired what have been troubling me for a while this whole week.
Lucidity tells me this is the erroneous place to get guidance, but as I can't talk about this matter with my friends (at this moment), the lesser of 2 evils tells me this is the only outlet I have ~ at least at this very moment ~ to air my congested brains and get some clarity in thoughts (if any).
So, if you are sane and constructive, offer your thoughts and opinions from your male perspective and I will appreciate. Otherwise, keep your unkind comments to yourself and you wouldn’t be missed a single tiny winy bit.
How shall I start???
Ummm, there is this senior management guy in the office which I detested a great deal. I had always found him "humsup" whenever he approached me for corporate legal advice. His eyes would always be "roaming" around my body and I felt "violated", albeit mentally. So, my principle has always been to stay away from him as much as possible in office unless there are official matters for discussion.
Gossips amongst the other colleagues transpired that he is divorced and had a series of romances. Naturally, with time, my prejudices became the foundation to "hate" him, though professionally I would collaborate in terms of work issues.
A couple of weeks ago, he decided to quit. Strangely, I was invited to his farewell dinner last Friday at The American Club and drinks thereafter. Dinner went on fine with a couple of his subordinates and his peers in senior management delivering farewell speeches. From what I sensed from those speeches, this guy seemed to take good care of his lads and is very popular with his peers too.
During after-dinner drinks, he approached me as I happened to be drinking alone (as my other close colleague went to the ladies). We chatted ~ despite my "prejudices" about him and he was leaving the organization anyway, so I didn’t want to spoil his farewell mood.
He started impressing upon me as a young senior manager in this MNC, I should learn to thrive in office politics and “showmanship” so that I wouldn't be bullied by others, especially the foreigners.
The conversation went on till my close colleague returned from the ladies who then remarked to my ears that "the 色狼 was looking at your low cut blouse while talking to you just now...". Strangely, I didn't seem to mind.
After drinks, I said my goodbyes to all and headed to the taxi-stand (as my close colleague was picked up by her husband). Whilst in the long queue, I heard my name being called and turned around ~ it was him. He asked me if I am free to join him for a drink at Union Bar at the ground floor of the Club. Looking at the long queue and in my high heels which were now a little painful for my calves, I obliged.
Over drinks, my "revulsion" of him seemed to dilute into curiosity. Perhaps the drinks, or perhaps I was less "on-guard" and becoming comfortable with his "paternal and protective" concerns, which then somewhat transformed into admiration for him which made me feel desired and appreciated. As you know, I never believed in the concept of “Alpha male” and he is not one even if there is such a creature of imagination.
He then expressed me he liked me and asked if I want to spend the night with him. Strangely, all the negative aspects I previously had about him seemed to fade away into thin air, and I agreed. Hopped into his Merc CLK and I allowed him to "french" me once we were inside. Not sure why I didn’t resist. Could be the drinks or it could be I am charmed by him. Drove off and I was in his apartment ~ which I like his taste of Zen furnishing and decor. He popped a bottle of Krug Rosé and we continued to chat through the night.
Time must have passed pretty quickly, I woke up the next morning in his arms. He told me to relax in my slightly “hangover” state, whilst he prepared breakfast. Freshened up and in his oversized work shirt (which he asked me to put on), we had breakfast. Sobering up and in the midst of breakfast, he asked if I want to continue this relationship. I said ok without much thought (then), as I am not attached anyway.
Through the course of this week, I have developed a few concerns about this relationship ~ He is in his late 40s and slightly > 12 years my senior. We do not have common friends and it would be strange when we go out with his “aged” friends or my younger crowd of friends. My friends would definitely look at me in a "funny" way for getting hitched with an "uncle". My parents will be wondering if I am "cheated" by an "experienced plunderer".
It has been a week since last Friday. We have either met for dinner or he picked me up to and from work and sort of like "a couple in love".
Last night, he asked me to move in with him.
Should I?
PS : It feels much better now that I have aired what have been troubling me for a while this whole week.
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