The poison of compartmentalization

[OverTheCounter]

Far too often, people and society as a whole view personal relationships between individuals very narrowly and simplistically. They rush to put labels on individuals, compartmentalize them according to what they think is happening, and judge them according to their own limited belief systems. The end result is that individuals are grossly misunderstood, legitimate grievances fail to get a fair hearing, the bully becomes exalted into a martyr, miscarriages of justice occur, and ultimately, valuable lessons that society could have taken away fail to be understood.


When two spouses quarrel, people think their marriage is on the rocks.


When two people separate, people think they are no longer in love.


When the child disobeys the parent, people think the child is unfilial.


People seldom probe deeper into the underlying issues why people behave the way they do. They take sides without thinking, without looking past immediate appearances. They think the one who raises his voice must be irrational. They think the cheating spouse must be in the wrong. They only see the "what" and fail to understand the "why". They don't see that the one who raises his voice may be acting rationally because the other party has deliberately pushed him into a corner and left him nowhere to turn. They don't see that the cheating spouse may be acting out deep seated insecurities and negative beliefs held by the other party. They don't see that the child who disobeys may be doing so out of love, not out of spite.


When children are pushed into a corner by their parents, it is natural for them to push back. But give them freedom, and they will naturally respond in a way that their parents might more readily approve. In other words, force your will onto them, and they will rebel against the chains you place on them. But give them the freedom to think and act, and they will come to terms with the situation and choose the course that you intend for them.


Parents love their kids and want the best for them, but they don't realize that some of their actions negate that love and destroy their best intentions. They don't realize that it is the height of absurdity to claim you love someone, yet deny him the freedom to think, act, and choose his own destiny.


When other people look in at the situation, many will jump to the conclusion that the child is unfilial, and the parent righteous. So narrow, so flimsy, so simplistic. And totally missing the point altogether.

 

[Timerty]

Far too often, people and society as a whole view personal relationships between individuals very narrowly and simplistically. They rush to put labels on individuals, compartmentalize them according to what they think is happening, and judge them according to their own limited belief systems. The end result is that individuals are grossly misunderstood, legitimate grievances fail to get a fair hearing, the bully becomes exalted into a martyr, miscarriages of justice occur, and ultimately, valuable lessons that society could have taken away fail to be understood.


When two spouses quarrel, people think their marriage is on the rocks.


When two people separate, people think they are no longer in love.


When the child disobeys the parent, people think the child is unfilial.


People seldom probe deeper into the underlying issues why people behave the way they do. They take sides without thinking, without looking past immediate appearances. They think the one who raises his voice must be irrational. They think the cheating spouse must be in the wrong. They only see the "what" and fail to understand the "why". They don't see that the one who raises his voice may be acting rationally because the other party has deliberately pushed him into a corner and left him nowhere to turn. They don't see that the cheating spouse may be acting out deep seated insecurities and negative beliefs held by the other party. They don't see that the child who disobeys may be doing so out of love, not out of spite.


When children are pushed into a corner by their parents, it is natural for them to push back. But give them freedom, and they will naturally respond in a way that their parents might more readily approve. In other words, force your will onto them, and they will rebel against the chains you place on them. But give them the freedom to think and act, and they will come to terms with the situation and choose the course that you intend for them.


Parents love their kids and want the best for them, but they don't realize that some of their actions negate that love and destroy their best intentions. They don't realize that it is the height of absurdity to claim you love someone, yet deny him the freedom to think, act, and choose his own destiny.


When other people look in at the situation, many will jump to the conclusion that the child is unfilial, and the parent righteous. So narrow, so flimsy, so simplistic. And totally missing the point altogether.

this kind of thinking is why Singaporeans are the worst group of people in the world.

 

[uvwxyz]

Humans whether Sinkies or not judge by their own personal specifications based on their culture, experiences, bias, education , expectations etc etc.

 

[sochi2014]

It's sinful nature of humans to judge. This is embedded in us.

 

[Cerebral]

Men in general compartmentalise. That how men's brains work.

 

[bigboss]

this kind of thinking is why Singaporeans are the worst group of people in the world.

Sinkies are not from homogenuous racial stock unlike Japanese.

Diversity in racial composition makes up all kinds of sinkies, those from india come with their caste system, looking down on same ah nehs, those from failipines come with false sense of racial supremacy with names like Mr Alponso Shithead III, etc.

Altogether, the paps have brought in loads of sewage into sinkie land.

 

[bigboss]

It's sinful nature of humans to judge. This is embedded in us.

Who judge who? Sinkies are daft but foreigners are foreign talent.

 

[GarvenDreis]

The politics of dancing.

 

[jw5]

The most lethal poison of compartmentalization is the type where people are immediately negatively labelled when they do not live the type of life, disagree with, or behave differently from the "poisoner", even if those same people do not harm others.

The most disgusting example in SG is of course HL.

The most disgusting example in SBF is of course MAY.

 

[jw5]

Why are all the interesting threads always abandoned so quickly? :(

 

[frenchbriefs]

I agree...the easiest way of telling someone is a compartmentalist is to ask them who they support Israel or Palestine....USA or Russia or Iraq Iran Syria Afghanistan.

 

[TIEPILOT]

Humans whether Sinkies or not judge by their own personal specifications based on their culture, experiences, bias, education , expectations etc etc.

You hit the nail!!

 

[jw5]

The easiest way of telling someone is a compartmentalist is to ask his thoughts about religion.

I agree...the easiest way of telling someone is a compartmentalist is to ask them who they support Israel or Palestine....USA or Russia or Iraq Iran Syria Afghanistan.

 

[OverTheCounter]

The most lethal poison of compartmentalization is the type where people are immediately negatively labelled when they do not live the type of life, disagree with, or behave differently from the "poisoner", even if those same people do not harm others.

The most disgusting example in SG is of course HL.

The most disgusting example in SBF is of course MAY.

The usage of labeling to caricature, and eventually, to tarnish your opponent's reputation is a widespread practice especially in the field of politics.

See this --> Labeling as political manipulation: http://books.google.com.sg/books?id...AEwBg#v=onepage&q=political labelling&f=false

 

[virus]

duhz... its is stereo typing?

 

[OverTheCounter]

duhz... its is stereo typing?

More than stereotyping (which is about applying previously held assumptions indiscriminately to an entire bunch of people).

I am talking about a kind of superficiality where you are quick to judge based on what you can immediately see and hear, rather then think and probe deeper into why it is happening.

I am also talking about filtering and interpreting your encounters with other people through your own limited belief systems, rather than trying to expand your horizons and seeing things from other peoples' perspectives.

And yes, I am also talking about putting labels and categories onto people to fit them into your narrow worldview, or worse, as a means of alienating them.

 

[Asterix]

duhz... its is stereo typing?

Am typing this while listening to stereo
Watching cowboys riding bulls in rodeo
Compartments for storing and retrieval
No need to listen to Lightning's drivel
Dis one bad dat one no good
Traitors always look for fools