Sat, 08 Jun 2013
The New Paper
No sex in 12 years but still madly in love
by Maureen Koh
This married couple say they have not had sex for 12 years. Yet they say they are still "madly in love" and devoted to each other.
Madam Ng Yu Yan, 45, explains that the desires and urges gradually faded away after she had her third child. She and husband Bernard Tay, 46, have two sons, 18 and 16, and a daughter, 13.
Madam Ng insists that sex is not an integral part of being married. "Once you have children, your priorities will definitely shift, and you find that everything you do centres around the young ones," says the property agent.
Mr Tay, a site foreman, agrees: "We are both usually very tired by the time we come home, have our meals and then sit down to spend quality time with the kids.
"By the time we hit the bed when they have gone to sleep, both of us are already half dead."
And since the children came along, their vacations have always been a big family affair.
"I think at most, the only time we spend in each other's company is during the journey from our home to my husband's office where I drop him off," says Madam Ng.
She laughs before saying that "the only form of intimacy is probably just a kiss".
Experts here tell The New Paper on Sunday that couples like the Tays are in the minority.
For most, a lack of sex could indicate bigger problems.
Like the Tays, a British couple, Charlotte and Chris Everiss, say they don't have sex.
They shared their story with The Daily Mail newspaper last week, attracting more than 700 comments within a day.
Most evenings, with their little girl safely tucked in bed, the couple enjoy a kiss and a cuddle on the sofa in front of the television.
Both insist that their 10-year marriage, which followed a two-year courtship after meeting on a dating website, is stronger than most. The relatively young couple haven't had sex in two years.
