• IP addresses are NOT logged in this forum so there's no point asking. Please note that this forum is full of homophobes, racists, lunatics, schizophrenics & absolute nut jobs with a smattering of geniuses, Chinese chauvinists, Moderate Muslims and last but not least a couple of "know-it-alls" constantly sprouting their dubious wisdom. If you believe that content generated by unsavory characters might cause you offense PLEASE LEAVE NOW! Sammyboy Admin and Staff are not responsible for your hurt feelings should you choose to read any of the content here.

    The OTHER forum is HERE so please stop asking.

This thread dedicated to LAUGHS...HAHAHA!!!

masgnoeL

Alfrescian
Loyal
Why this post is in this thread? Well, read on.

"GIC will not be taking a seat on Citigroup’s board, it said in a statement.
Its deputy chairman and executive director Tony Tan said the bank is ‘one of the largest banks in the world with an attractive global franchise’ and ‘an excellent addition to GIC’s portfolio’. Citi has some 200 million customer accounts and does business in more than 100 countries."

Now for the laughs:
1) Only a moron will take largest individual shareholder stake, yet not be taking a seat on the board.
2) Making an investment decision on the naivete that because the bank is ‘one of the largest banks in the world with an attractive global franchise’ means that the investment is an excellent one is the most moronic executive statement I have heard in a long time. Period.


Citigroup Drop to $3.9; GIC LOST Billions!!!


<HR style="COLOR: #989898; BACKGROUND-COLOR: #989898" SIZE=1><!-- / icon and title --><!-- message -->
b


http://sgpropertypress.wordpress.com...led-citigroup/

The US$6.88b investment, with limited downside, makes it potentially one of the global bank’s largest shareholders​



(SINGAPORE) It’s two giant purchases in as many months.​




The Government of Singapore Investment Corp (GIC) is investing US$6.88 billion in Citigroup through a private offering of convertible preferred securities, it said yesterday. The downside is limited as the securities yield an annual coupon of 7 per cent until conversion. The upside - if Citigroup’s currently battered share price picks up - can be fairly attractive.
If converted to shares, the securities will bring GIC’s holdings in the global bank to some 4 per cent of its enlarged share capital. That would make GIC - which currently owns just 0.3 per cent of Citigroup, a stake built up slowly over the past 25 years - one of the bank’s largest individual shareholders.
The investment is part of a broader capital-raising exercise by Citi - which also reported a US$9.83 billion loss for the fourth quarter and further sub-prime- related writedowns of US$18.1 billion yesterday - to bring its capital ratio back in line with company targets.
Besides lowering its dividend and selling non-core assets, Citi is also seeking to raise at least US$14.5 billion from public and private investors - including GIC.
The private offering is worth US$12.5 billion and consists entirely of convertible preferred securities.
While GIC will take the largest portion, other investors include existing shareholders the Capital Group and Saudi Arabia’s Prince Alwaleed bin Talal.
The Kuwait Investment Authority, the New Jersey Division of Investment, and former Citi chief executive Sanford Weill and The Weill Family Foundation are also buying into the private offering. They will get the same terms as GIC.
Convertible preferred securities, also called perpetual convertibles, are structured to protect an investor from downside risk while giving a chance to participate on the upside.

To protect against downside if Citi’s share price falls further, the securities yield an annual coupon of 7 per cent, payable quarterly.



To participate on the upside, GIC may convert the securities at any time, although it must do so at a 20 per cent premium above a reference price. This will be set based on the average trading price of Citi shares over the next few days.

The securities have a perpetual maturity, which means they do not expire; however, Citi can call the securities - pay back the money - after the seventh year. Citi may also force conversion after five years, if its stock price exceeds 130 per cent of the reference price.
The terms also include ‘customary standstill provisions’ that cap GIC and others’ ownership in Citi and restrict them from seeking to influence management.
GIC will not be taking a seat on Citigroup’s board, it said in a statement.
Its deputy chairman and executive director Tony Tan said the bank is ‘one of the largest banks in the world with an attractive global franchise’ and ‘an excellent addition to GIC’s portfolio’. Citi has some 200 million customer accounts and does business in more than 100 countries.
GIC has confidence in Citi’s board of directors, headed by Winfried Bischoff, and the new management team headed by Vikram Pandit, Dr Tan said. He added that GIC also believes Citi has taken ‘decisive action’ to further strengthen the balance sheet and profitability of the bank, and that the nature of the convertible preferred securities ‘gives appropriate downside protection’.
Citi’s Mr Pandit said he has known GIC’s principals for years and is delighted that the ‘widely respected, long-term oriented financial investor’, and ‘other important investors’, have decided to buy in.
The offering is the second time since the subprime crisis hit last August that Citi has tapped sovereign capital. In November, it sold US$7.5 billion worth of mandatory convertible notes to the Abu Dhabi Investment Authority, which would convert to a nearly 5 per cent stake.
The bank’s share price has nearly halved in recent months, falling from over US$55 as of May last year to about US $29 at Monday’s close.
Its fourth-quarter net loss compares to a profit of US$5.1 billion a year ago, while its sub-prime writedowns are the largest announced by any bank thus far.
Market observer Terence Wong, chief investment analyst at SIAS Research in Singapore, said he was not surprised by GIC’s purchase. ‘I believe they are aggressively looking and have taken it as a great opportunity,’ he said.
‘If they don’t take it, other SWFs or investors will jump at the chance. It may not be the lowest price, but GIC is a long-term investor and it’s difficult to catch it right at the trough,’ said Mr Wong.
Just over a month ago, GIC said it was investing over $14 billion in UBS’ mandatory convertible notes, which if converted would give GIC a 9 per cent stake in the Swiss wealth management giant.



Source: Business Times 16 Jan 08
 
Last edited:

eeoror88

Alfrescian
Loyal
English spelling test for Chinese" ser-bu-ser" helicopter.

How to spell "ajinomoto" ??

Helicopter : Er .... er .... " Ah Kee tiok toto " ??
 

eeoror88

Alfrescian
Loyal
English spelling test for Chinese" ser-bu-ser" helicopter.

How to spell "potato" ??

Helicopter : Er .... er .... " tomato " ??
 

eeoror88

Alfrescian
Loyal
English spelling test for Chinese" ser-bu-ser" helicopter.

How to spell "opposite" ??

Helicopter : Er .... er .... " Or Bark Ci " ??

** in Cantonese means shit white faeces .
 

eeoror88

Alfrescian
Loyal
English spelling test for Chinese" ser-bu-ser" helicopter.

How to spell "communist" ??

Helicopter : Er .... er .... " toto miss " ??
 

masgnoeL

Alfrescian
Loyal
HAHAHA...when there are much more pressing kitchen table issues, someone in this forum chose to busy himself with a woman's mole. What will he do next? Inspect her "you know what"? :biggrin:

Grace fu"s mole

<HR style="COLOR: #989898; BACKGROUND-COLOR: #989898" SIZE=1><!-- / icon and title --><!-- message -->According to my feng shui and palmistry's analysis, Grace Fu's mole above her left eye is a good "gi" mole. She will provide stability and peace.

I think she she should be promoted to a more prominent position.
 

eeoror88

Alfrescian
Loyal
HAHAHA...when there are much more pressing kitchen table issues, someone in this forum chose to busy himself with a woman's mole. What will he do next? Inspect her "you know what"? :biggrin:

Grace fu"s mole

<HR style="COLOR: #989898; BACKGROUND-COLOR: #989898" SIZE=1><!-- / icon and title --><!-- message -->According to my feng shui and palmistry's analysis, Grace Fu's mole above her left eye is a good "gi" mole. She will provide stability and peace.

I think she she should be promoted to a more prominent position.

The nitty gritties are handled by my supervisors which explain my ree time.

Fengshui is my studied interest for your info and I don't study people's fengshui at private places.

Why you so perverted one ??:confused::confused:
 

masgnoeL

Alfrescian
Loyal
Why not? Fengshui covers all aspects. I read alot about fengshui too and I know that fengshui says if moles are seen on "there" and "there" and "there", then the person is a stud or slut or dud.

So, who is the perverted one with self-conscious. You lor. HAHAHA!! :biggrin:
 

masgnoeL

Alfrescian
Loyal
That means GIC's investment has no guaranteed returns and most probably amounts to a BIG FAT ZERO!!!

HAHAHAHA, dumbfucked!!!



<TABLE id=msgUN cellSpacing=3 cellPadding=0 width="100%" border=0><TBODY><TR><TD id=msgUNsubj vAlign=top>Coffee Shop Talk - Is GIC's Citigroup dividends still there</TD><TD id=msgunetc noWrap align=right>
icon.aspx
Subscribe </TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE><TABLE class=msgtable cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=0 width="96%"><TBODY><TR><TD class=msg vAlign=top><TABLE cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=0 width="100%" border=0><TBODY><TR class=msghead><TD class=msgbfr1 width="1%"></TD><TD><TABLE cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=0 border=0><TBODY><TR class=msghead><TD class=msgF noWrap align=right width="1%">From: </TD><TD class=msgFname noWrap width="68%">MoneyHelp345 <NOBR></NOBR></TD><TD class=msgDate noWrap align=right width="30%">8:07 am </TD></TR><TR class=msghead><TD class=msgT noWrap align=right width="1%" height=20>To: </TD><TD class=msgTname noWrap width="68%">ALL <NOBR></NOBR></TD><TD class=msgNum noWrap align=right>(1 of 1) </TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE></TD></TR><TR><TD class=msgleft width="1%" rowSpan=4></TD><TD class=wintiny noWrap align=right>14436.1 </TD></TR><TR><TD height=8></TD></TR><TR><TD class=msgtxt>The US govt bailout of Citigroup allows them to pay only 1% dividends to common shareholders.
If Citigroup still pays out dividends to GIC (7%), Singapore will get its principal back in 14 years. If no dividends is given out, our Citigroup stake is quite worthless because the convertible price is too high.
------------------------------------
Published November 25, 2008
US govt rescue dilutes GIC's Citi stake However, GIC's rights and dividends from preferred shares still unclear.
By CONRAD TAN (SINGAPORE) The US government's massive capital injection into Citigroup will dilute the Government of Singapore Investment Corp's earlier investment in the bank, although it was unclear yesterday whether the bailout would trigger any changes in GIC's rights or a cut in the dividend that it receives. When contacted, GIC declined to comment.

</TD></TR><TR><TD></TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE></TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE>
 

masgnoeL

Alfrescian
Loyal
Ever heard of dying due to too much laughter? This post might just induced it. If ever there were incompetent foolish people, Temasick and GeeIC sure packs them in like sardines. HAHAHA!!!

By P.R.

<!-- / user info --><!-- message, attachments, sig --> <!-- icon and title -->
icon3.gif
Can you imagine what all this money could have done for the NEEDY in SINGAPORE??
<hr style="color: rgb(152, 152, 152); background-color: rgb(152, 152, 152);" size="1"> <!-- / icon and title --> <!-- message --> Can you imagine what all this money could have done for the NEEDY in SINGAPORE??


Temasek lost almost US$2 billion of a badly-timed US$3 billion in Shin
Corp
at a peak of 49.25 baht(Shin shares are now trading at around 15 baht)
in
2006.

This state-linked investment company committed S$401
million in ASX -listed ABC Learning Centres at near the peak price of
A$7.30 and then averaged down at between A$1.20 and A$4.00, bringing
it's commitment to over S$500 million. That investment is now essentially
worthless although Temasek has yet to write it down.

The company also bought 19% of LSE- listed Standard Chartered in 2006
only to see the market value of that stake melt 55% by November 21st.

More fiascos include a 975 million pound stake in Barclays Bank bought
at
the peak of 740 pence(with a further 100 million to subscribe for a
rights
issue at 282 pence), which have now sunk over 70% at 138 pence.

Most heinous of all is its US$6.88 billion stake in Citigroup bought
with a
minimum conversion price of $31.34. Citigroup has since plunged 88% to
$3.71, singlehandedly delivering S$9.11 billion of red ink to Temasek's (?GIC's)
books.
Overall, the paper loss on these bank investments appear to have exceeded S$35
billion
as of October 21st.
 

eeoror88

Alfrescian
Loyal
English spelling test for Chinese" ser-bu-ser" helicopter.

How to spell "democracy" ??

Helicopter : Er .... er .... " domo agato" ??
 

Leegimeremover

Alfrescian
Loyal
English spelling test for Chinese" ser-bu-ser" helicopter.

How to spell "democracy" ??

Helicopter : Er .... er .... " domo agato" ??

Yes, PAP lapdog who failed in English grammar and Mandarin altogether. Please do not attempt to write sentences above 3 words in length. It would really ruin you. We know you are monitoring this website and attempting to frustrate monikers to achieve total control. The pathetic tricks of your masters are guaranteed to create very violent reaction that you cannot even begin to imagine. In addition, your large imports of PRCs will ensure a quicker spread of diseases that will overwhelm the entire medical system here, as well as your well minded and sickly government lapdogs. I am relishing in the show coming ahead. We know that stupidity is the PAP trait. Malaysia will prevail and Singapore will be in a fix by next June. Welcome to the real world.
 

masgnoeL

Alfrescian
Loyal
*hee*hee* All explanation is actually futile. It is just too obvious the investments failed miserably. Better to come clean than to beat around the bush. They are blind who think the rest cannot see.


Temasek Says Divestments to Create Value, Not Cover Losses
By Shamim Adam


Dec. 9 (Bloomberg) -- Temasek Holdings Pte defended its $2.6 billion of divestments last week, saying the transactions created value for the Singapore sovereign investor and the assets weren’t sold to cover losses on past investments or fund future purchases.

The state-owned investment company last week sold its 70 percent stake in Singapore Food Industries Ltd., which operates food outlets in factories, hospitals and army camps, for S$334.5 million ($221 million). It also divested Singapore power generator PowerSeraya Ltd. for about S$3.6 billion.

“Temasek has minimal debt and a net cash position and does not need to borrow to invest,” Myrna Thomas, Temasek’s spokeswoman, said in reply to a report in Today newspaper. “It is not in need of cash to support margin calls for positions with mark-to-market losses, be they foreign bank stakes or shares in local Singapore banks or investments in non-financial companies.”

Singapore’s Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong last week also defended the performance of the city’s two state-owned investment companies after a plunge in the value of their stakes in Citigroup Inc., Merrill Lynch & Co. and other global banks, saying they should be assessed on their overall portfolio returns instead of specific assets.

Government of Singapore Investment Corp., or GIC, and Temasek have invested more than $23 billion in Citigroup, UBS AG and other banks as financial-services companies seek funds after posting close to $1 trillion of writedowns and credit losses. Both Temasek and GIC each manage more than $100 billion of investments.

Temasek is the biggest stakeholder in Merrill Lynch after a $5.9 billion investment in the past year. It’s also the biggest shareholder of banks including London-based Standard Chartered Plc and Singapore’s DBS Group Holdings Ltd., and has holdings in Barclays Plc, India’s ICICI Bank and other lenders in Indonesia, South Korea and Pakistan.

“Temasek regularly reviews its portfolio positions, and decisions to sell or hold its assets and companies are based on various considerations,” Thomas wrote. “Temasek does not divest to destroy value or to reduce competition.”

To contact the reporter on this story: Shamim Adam in Singapore at [email protected]
Last Updated: December 8, 2008
 

DOM the Clown

Alfrescian
Loyal
Rwanda Khaw's Balanced Diet

Our former Foreign-Talent now ministar Rwanda Khaw has been telling this one to his ministry's staff:

Khaw: What's the hardest thing about eating vegetables?

Staff: ........................

Khaw0: The life support equipment!!! GOT YA!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
 

DOM the Clown

Alfrescian
Loyal
Bargained Herpes

A beautiful, voluptuous woman goes to Dr Bargain Hen. The doctor takes one
look at this woman and all his professionalism goes out the window.

Right away he tells her to undress. After she has disrobed he begins to
stroke her thigh. As he does this he says to the woman, "Do you know what
I'm doing?"


"Yes," she says, "you're checking for any abrasions or dermatological
abnormalities."


"That's right," says Dr Bargain Hen. He then begins to fondle her breasts.
"Do you know what I'm doing now?" he asks.


"Yes," the woman says, "you're checking for any lumps of breast cancer."


"That's right," replies the extremely thrilled Dr Bargain Hen. He then begins to have sexual intercourse with the woman. He says to her, "Do you know what I'm doing now?"


"Yes," she says. "You're getting herpes."
 

DOM the Clown

Alfrescian
Loyal
Outsourced Call Center

I was feeling a bit depressed the other day, so I called the Help
Hotline. I was put through to a 'call center' in Pakistan. I explained
that I was feeling suicidal. They were very excited at this news and
wanted to know if I could drive a truck or fly an airplane...........:eek:
 

DOM the Clown

Alfrescian
Loyal
The Shitty Times' New Prostitute LEEporter

The Shitty Times hired a recent graduate of the School of hyper-propagandic-journalism of the NUAss to write human-interest articles for the newspaper.

He decided to go into the Pulau Ubin to do his research.


He found an old farmer's house along an isolated road and introduced
himself to the man. He asked, "Has anything ever happened around here
that made you happy ?"


The old farmer thought for a moment and said, "Yep, one time a
neighbor's pig got lost. We all formed a posse and found it.
Then we all screwed it a little and took it back home."


"I can't print that! The Shitty Times has the responsibility to publish things that are clean for the populace! " the young reporter exclaimed.
"Can you think of anything else that made you happy?"


"Yep, one time a neighbor's daughter got lost, so we formed a posse
and found her. After we all screwed her real good, we took her home."


"Hell, I can't print that either!!!" cried the frustrated reporter.
"Has anything ever happened that made you SAD?"


The old farmer dropped his head and sit quietly for a few seconds.
Then he timidly replied, "Yep, I got lost once."
 

DOM the Clown

Alfrescian
Loyal
Prince Looonie's White Haired son........

After their baby was born, the panicked father went to see the Obstetrician.

"Doctor," the man said, "I don't mind telling you, but I'm a little upset because my son has white hair. He can't possibly be mine."


"Nonsense," the doctor said. "Even though you and your wife both have black
hair, one of your ancestors may have contributed white hair to the gene pool."


"It isn't possible," the man insisted. "This can't be, our families on both
sides had jet-black hair for generations."


"Well," said the doctor who didn't want to offend, "let me ask you this. How often do you have sex?"

The man seemed a bit ashamed, "I've been working very hard at Mindef for the past year. We only made love once or twice every few months."


"Well, there you have it!" the doctor said. "It's fungi!"
 

DOM the Clown

Alfrescian
Loyal
Prince Looonie's Sister-in-law: When she was The New Teacher

Ms Ho Peng who had just graduated from I.E. was posted to a neighbourhood school.

One day, she noticed that a little boy at the back of the class was squirming around, scratching his crotch, and not paying attention.

She went back to find out what was going on.


He was quite embarrassed and whispered that he had just recently been circumcised and he was quite itchy.


The teacher told him to go down to the principal's office. He was to telephone his mother and ask her what he should do about it.


He did and returned to his class.


Suddenly, there was a commotion at the back of the room.


She went back to investigate only to find him sitting at
his desk with his 'private part' hanging out.


'I thought I told you to call your mom!' Ms Ho Peng said.


'I did,' he said, 'And she told me that if I could stick it out till noon,
she'd come and pick me up from school.'
 

DOM the Clown

Alfrescian
Loyal
George Dubya Bush once said:

I want to share with you an interesting program --for two reasons, one, it's interesting, and two, my wife thought of it or has actually been involved with it. She didn't think of it, but she thought of it for this speech.



Prince Looonie may one day say:

I want to share with you one of our pappies' interesting program call SER--for two reasons, one, it's interesting to ME!!! And two, 100% of the Citizens who said HDB flats are affordable thought of it or has actually been involved with it. They didn't think of it, but they thought of it with SOME help from our scholars at the HDB.
 
Top