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Not blue pill.. but laughter's best medicine
- Thread starter yinyang
- Start date
Silver lining, he can now be free from his wifey. Can always be incognito, like borrowing your wig :p
So angmo tuakee not really true lah! Orkui sibeh tuakee lah instead!
TGIF... some one liners, easy on your funnybone :p
What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
Juan on Juan
What is a Yankee?
The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone
What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?
The position of the dirt bag
Why is divorce so expensive?
Because it's worth it
What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?
Doughnuts
Why is air a lot like sex?
Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any
What do you call a smart blonde?
A golden retriever
What do attorneys use for birth control?
Their personalities
What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?
45 lbs
What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband?
45 minutes
What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
Through his chest with a sharp knife
Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
Because those men already have boyfriends
What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you
What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving
Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex?
Because they have cotton balls
What's the difference between a porcupine and BMW?
A porcupine has the pricks on the outside
What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
"Are you sure it's mine?"
Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
Mace will do that to you
Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia?
Everyone has the same DNA
Why do drivers' education classes in redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it
Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
A different bar
What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
A speech impediment
What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
Juan on Juan
What is a Yankee?
The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone
What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?
The position of the dirt bag
Why is divorce so expensive?
Because it's worth it
What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?
Doughnuts
Why is air a lot like sex?
Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any
What do you call a smart blonde?
A golden retriever
What do attorneys use for birth control?
Their personalities
What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?
45 lbs
What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband?
45 minutes
What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
Through his chest with a sharp knife
Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
Because those men already have boyfriends
What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you
What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving
Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex?
Because they have cotton balls
What's the difference between a porcupine and BMW?
A porcupine has the pricks on the outside
What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
"Are you sure it's mine?"
Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
Mace will do that to you
Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia?
Everyone has the same DNA
Why do drivers' education classes in redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it
Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
A different bar
What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
A speech impediment
Grandpa and Grandma were visiting the kids overnight,
when Grandpa found two bottles of MALE DRIVE® in his son's
medicine cabinet. He asked his grandson about taking the pills,
and his grandson said, "I don't think you should take one;
they work extremely well and very fast!"
"How much is a bottle?" asked Grandpa. "$29.95" answered the son.
"That's an incredible price," said Grandpa, "I'd like to try it,
and I'll leave the money under your pillow as soon as I break
this $50.00 bill."
The next morning the grandson found $130.00 under his pillow.
He said to his Grandpa, "I told you they cost $29.95, not $130."
"I know," said Grandpa. "The hundred is from Grandma."
when Grandpa found two bottles of MALE DRIVE® in his son's
medicine cabinet. He asked his grandson about taking the pills,
and his grandson said, "I don't think you should take one;
they work extremely well and very fast!"
"How much is a bottle?" asked Grandpa. "$29.95" answered the son.
"That's an incredible price," said Grandpa, "I'd like to try it,
and I'll leave the money under your pillow as soon as I break
this $50.00 bill."
The next morning the grandson found $130.00 under his pillow.
He said to his Grandpa, "I told you they cost $29.95, not $130."
"I know," said Grandpa. "The hundred is from Grandma."
tgiF2 :p
Q: What's the difference between a Pregnant women and a light bulb?
A: You can unscrew the light bulb.
______________________________________
What's the difference between a woman in the army and a bowling ball?
You can only fit 3 fingers in a bowling ball.
________________________________________
What's the difference between Government bonds and men?
Bonds mature.
________________________________________
What did God say after creating men?
I can do better.
________________________________________
Husband Want a quickie?
Wife: As opposed to what?
________________________________________
Why is a man like a snowstorm?
Because you don't know when he is coming, how many inches you'll get or how long it will stay.
________________________________________
Why are men like laxatives?
They irritate the shit out of you.
________________________________________
Husband Why do you wear a bra, you've got nothing to put in it?
Wife You wear your underpants don't you?
________________________________________
What's the difference between a Porcupine and a Porsche?
A Porcupine has pricks on the outside.
________________________________________
What do coffee, cats and men have in common?
They all keep you awake at night.
________________________________________
Why did God create man?
Because a vibrator can't mow the lawn.
_______________________________________
Why were men given larger brains than dogs?
So they wouldn't hump women's legs at cocktail parties.
_______________________________________
Why did the man walk around with his fly open?
Just in case he needed to count to eleven.
________________________________________
How can you tell if a man is dead?
He stays stiff for more than two minutes.
________________________________________
Q: What's the difference between a Pregnant women and a light bulb?
A: You can unscrew the light bulb.
______________________________________
What's the difference between a woman in the army and a bowling ball?
You can only fit 3 fingers in a bowling ball.
________________________________________
What's the difference between Government bonds and men?
Bonds mature.
________________________________________
What did God say after creating men?
I can do better.
________________________________________
Husband Want a quickie?
Wife: As opposed to what?
________________________________________
Why is a man like a snowstorm?
Because you don't know when he is coming, how many inches you'll get or how long it will stay.
________________________________________
Why are men like laxatives?
They irritate the shit out of you.
________________________________________
Husband Why do you wear a bra, you've got nothing to put in it?
Wife You wear your underpants don't you?
________________________________________
What's the difference between a Porcupine and a Porsche?
A Porcupine has pricks on the outside.
________________________________________
What do coffee, cats and men have in common?
They all keep you awake at night.
________________________________________
Why did God create man?
Because a vibrator can't mow the lawn.
_______________________________________
Why were men given larger brains than dogs?
So they wouldn't hump women's legs at cocktail parties.
_______________________________________
Why did the man walk around with his fly open?
Just in case he needed to count to eleven.
________________________________________
How can you tell if a man is dead?
He stays stiff for more than two minutes.
________________________________________
Dear Sir;
Your application to join our online dating service has unfortunately been rejected.
One of the questions on the application was: What do you like most in a woman?
Your answer of “My dick” was considered to be an inappropriate response.
Thank you for your interest.
Sincerely,
eHarmony
Havin' Sex
- Accountants do it with Double Entry
- Acupuncturists do it with a small prick
- Ambulance drivers come quicker
- Australians do it Down Under
- Bankers do it with interest
- Bartenders do it on the Rocks
- Chess players check their Mates
- Cops do it with cuffs
- Computer Technicians do it with hard drives
- DJs do it on request
- Deep-sea divers do it under extreme pressure
- Dentist do it orally
- Detectives do it under cover
- Don't do it with Bankers, most of them are Tellers
- Engineers do it to specification (RF engineers do it with frequency)
- Firemen do it with a big hose
- Frank Sinatra does it his way
- Garbage men come twice a week
- Gardeners do it in the bushes
- Gas attendants Pump all day
- Housewives do it for an allowance
- IT programmers cannot do it with their software
- Jockeys gallop hard and finish fast
- Landlords do it every 1st of the month
- Mountain Climbers like to be on top
- Pianists touch, tickle, and titillate!
- Pizza delivery men come in 30 minutes or it's free
- Truckers do it in the road
- Travel Agents do it in lots of different places
- Waiters and waitresses do it for tips
- Watch out for tennis players - love means nothing to them!
- But worse are those bloody politicians, all they do is talk about it.
- Accountants do it with Double Entry
- Acupuncturists do it with a small prick
- Ambulance drivers come quicker
- Australians do it Down Under
- Bankers do it with interest
- Bartenders do it on the Rocks
- Chess players check their Mates
- Cops do it with cuffs
- Computer Technicians do it with hard drives
- DJs do it on request
- Deep-sea divers do it under extreme pressure
- Dentist do it orally
- Detectives do it under cover
- Don't do it with Bankers, most of them are Tellers
- Engineers do it to specification (RF engineers do it with frequency)
- Firemen do it with a big hose
- Frank Sinatra does it his way
- Garbage men come twice a week
- Gardeners do it in the bushes
- Gas attendants Pump all day
- Housewives do it for an allowance
- IT programmers cannot do it with their software
- Jockeys gallop hard and finish fast
- Landlords do it every 1st of the month
- Mountain Climbers like to be on top
- Pianists touch, tickle, and titillate!
- Pizza delivery men come in 30 minutes or it's free
- Truckers do it in the road
- Travel Agents do it in lots of different places
- Waiters and waitresses do it for tips
- Watch out for tennis players - love means nothing to them!
- But worse are those bloody politicians, all they do is talk about it.
Yo... How come u MIA for so long? Even your Chelsea thread bochap.
busy brooooo...bro YY invite me here red carpet. console him after Moyes dismal season
busy brooooo...bro YY invite me here red carpet. console him after Moyes dismal season
Console YY? I thought i had made a lot of people rich by betting against Man U since United are always favorites and odds are always low !
:*:
you see my friend, it's hard to balance money and successConsole YY? I thought i had made a lot of people rich by betting against Man U since United are always favorites and odds are always low !
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