How many of you take the words of others seriously?

[Jah_rastafar_I]

Let's say someone calls you fatty cos you're a bit plump. Or maybe shorty cos you're medium height for eg.

Or uncle/auntie even though you're not really old.

How would you feel?

 

[youth123]

Dont take it to heart lah, words dont kill a person isnt it?

 

[Spiky]

Let's say someone calls you fatty cos you're a bit plump. Or maybe shorty cos you're medium height for eg.

Or uncle/auntie even though you're not really old.

How would you feel?

Most of the time, if mentally prepared, will have no effect on me.

Sometimes, caught off-guard, ended up damn tu-lan.

I used to think, the older I get, the more able to handle such things.
But not true :p

I am human after all. Happy New Year !

 

[Spiky]

A question for you.

Would you prefer that others think that you are poor, but you are actually liquid and rich ?

Or, would you prefer that people think that you are rich, but you have very little money and very much in debt ?

 

[Jah_rastafar_I]

A question for you.

Would you prefer that others think that you are poor, but you are actually liquid and rich ?

Or, would you prefer that people think that you are rich, but you have very little money and very much in debt ?

It all depends. If they think you're rich with the intention of fleecing you. It isn't good right?

Then again you know when ppl say you're poor they do it to mock you right?


Someone gave me advice not to take things to heart at all. Advice that's pretty old and been around forever. After all the mouth belongs to them and well they'll say whatever the fuck they want to say. There's a problem though. It's easier said than done. Some ppl can do it others simply can't. That's why ppl still fight over name calling.

There's tons of good advice around but following them that's tough.

 

[GoldenDragon]

A question for you.

Would you prefer that others think that you are poor, but you are actually liquid and rich ?

Or, would you prefer that people think that you are rich, but you have very little money and very much in debt ?

In your first illustration, useful when your bros always have the habit of taxing you. And hard for you to reject them for whatever reason.

If you are a bizman and needs to maintain your standing though panting financially, the second illustration is needed.

Same applies for lottery. If you are a 'taxable' person, strike 100k must say 1k. If you need to boost your reputation, teok 1k better announce 100k.

 

[Jah_rastafar_I]

In your first illustration, useful when your bros always have the habit of taxing you. And hard for you to reject them for whatever reason.

If you are a bizman and needs to maintain your standing though panting financially, the second illustration is needed.

Same applies for lottery. If you are a 'taxable' person, strike 100k must say 1k. If you need to boost your reputation, teok 1k better announce 100k.

At the end of the day it's just trying to balance between face and getting fleeced by others.

 

[GoldenDragon]

At the end of the day it's just trying to balance between face and getting fleeced by others.

Yes, sir. That's life, especially in Asian culture. Face is very important.

 

[kukubird58]

.., words dont kill a person isnt it?

youth = young man, u can't be more wrong...
everday pple kill each other because of "words".
a famous chinese saying...trouble spew out from your mouth..

 

[chuckyworld]

Let's say someone calls you fatty cos you're a bit plump. Or maybe shorty cos you're medium height for eg.

Or uncle/auntie even though you're not really old.

How would you feel?

If you take every words seriously, you will be having endless stress with no end in sight.

Just ignore what other said, if you can help it.

life is too short to worry over silly comments and be at each other throats 24/7.

Be happy and don't worry.

 

[halsey02]

Let's say someone calls you fatty cos you're a bit plump. Or maybe shorty cos you're medium height for eg.

Or uncle/auntie even though you're not really old.

How would you feel?

Especially the words from the mouths of all the MIW's....

 

[wahlaneh]

Let's say someone calls you fatty cos you're a bit plump. Or maybe shorty cos you're medium height for eg.

Or uncle/auntie even though you're not really old.

How would you feel?

wahlaneh...
depends on how friendly or unfriendly u feel towards that person lor.
in a friendly tone u can say: "thank u for ur compliments i can correct my fattyness thru exercises to slim down but cannot change my shortyness due to my age and i cannot change the way i look, sorry."
but in a hostile tone u can also say: "none of ur f**king biz u so skinny wind blow also can fly away so tall cannot even stand straight on the bus must bend down slightly and looking old gives me advantage coz people will respect me n give me the reserved seat in MRT."
theres no absolute right or wrong answer one mah.

 

[Agoraphobic]

When I was in Sec school, I will meet the CB kia after school outside and one-to-one with him; after a short while, the bugger will say sorry to me. Not long after, no one calls me anything, until now.

But if roughly same size, same age, one-to-one is fair game to me.

Cheers!

Let's say someone calls you fatty cos you're a bit plump. Or maybe shorty cos you're medium height for eg.

Or uncle/auntie even though you're not really old.

How would you feel?

 

[jw5]

ISomeone gave me advice not to take things to heart at all. Advice that's pretty old and been around forever. After all the mouth belongs to them and well they'll say whatever the fuck they want to say. There's a problem though. It's easier said than done. Some ppl can do it others simply can't. That's why ppl still fight over name calling.

There's tons of good advice around but following them that's tough.

One thing I try to do is to listen more and talk less, sometimes to the extent of saying nothing.
If you listen, you can ascertain the other person's intentions or his attitude or feelings towards you, and react accordingly.
But if you talk, you reveal more about yourself, and he can use these words against you.

There have been times where I encountered someone unlikeable in person or on the phone, where I either walked away or hung up abruptly, without even saying a word.

 

[hotbot]

i used to listen and comment only when necessary. somehow in recent years, i getting more and more defensive. i have learnt that words have no meaning, it's up to you to put meaning in it. I agree that the more one talk, the more people can use that against you. the thing is that only like that you will know what kind of personyou are interacting with. of course, there will be people who just like to joke around with you so it's ok but if the person has an hidden agenda, then it's not ok.

what you mention is very true of corporate pple i know, they tend to behave like that.

One thing I try to do is to listen more and talk less, sometimes to the extent of saying nothing.
If you listen, you can ascertain the other person's intentions or his attitude or feelings towards you, and react accordingly.
But if you talk, you reveal more about yourself, and he can use these words against you.

There have been times where I encountered someone unlikeable in person or on the phone, where I either walked away or hung up abruptly, without even saying a word.

 

[hotbot]

i will like to appear that i am rich even if i am poor.

if i am rich, i will want pple to think i am merely doing so so cos' spore has too many green eye monsters.

A question for you.

Would you prefer that others think that you are poor, but you are actually liquid and rich ?

Or, would you prefer that people think that you are rich, but you have very little money and very much in debt ?

 

[hotbot]

i used to be like that cos' of my sensitive nature. then, later i realise that i have put meaning in pple's words that affect me.
you are right that pple's comments can cause endless stress. the most important thing is family's support and i learnt that if their words hurt you, then you have to return with words that hurt them doubly hard. then they will know that you are not to be messed around with.

If you take every words seriously, you will be having endless stress with no end in sight.

Just ignore what other said, if you can help it.

life is too short to worry over silly comments and be at each other throats 24/7.

Be happy and don't worry.

 

[Cruxx]

When Benjamin Sim said that he's a loser, I really believed him.

 

[SinkyBird]

Someone gave me advice not to take things to heart at all. Advice that's pretty old and been around forever. After all the mouth belongs to them and well they'll say whatever the fuck they want to say. There's a problem though. It's easier said than done. Some ppl can do it others simply can't. That's why ppl still fight over name calling.

There's tons of good advice around but following them that's tough.

I'm not sure if what I'm about to say would turn out useful, but I'm going to give it a try nevertheless.

Someone in the past said: "If you know the truth, the truth will set you free."

There are two sets of truth involved in this equation - the truth of knowing oneself, and the truth of knowing your opponent's motive.

First of all, you've to know the truth about yourself. Are you plump ? You're either plump or you're not. If you're plump, are you able to live with that truth ? If you're plump and you're unable to live with that truth, you're going to get very bruised even without any insinuation from a third party. In that case, the problem lies with you, and not the third party.

Then comes the motive of the person who passes that hurtful remark. The insinuation may be that you're plump or you're stupid etc. Before you get agitated, assess the motive of the person who passes that remark.

Even if the truth is you're plump, why should it concern a third party ? If I'm not your g/f to be, the fact that you're ugly or plump does not concern me. If I'm not your parent or teacher, the fact that you're stupid does not concern me. If I'm not related to you in that sense, why would I pass such a remark ? Why would I speak the obvious and choose to hurt you instead of being sensitive ?

I've come across many people who are not good looking or less intelligent, but I have not found the need to say it out loud to them. But there was one occasion when I met a very handsome medical doctor, and for some reason I felt threatened. Why ? I felt he was going to steal the limelight from me if we were to appear together in the same place. I'm not a doctor. I was feeling insecure myself, and I started looking for 'weak spots' in this CV. I found one - he was older than I was. In actual fact it didn't matter, but I made it matter. Whenever the subject was about this handsome doctor, I would not forget to mention the fact that he was older.

So the next time when someone passes a hurtful remark, think about his motive. In all likelihood you might have something so good about yourself that he felt so threatened.

A person who criticizes another person, more often than not, is out to promote himself.

 

[Jah_rastafar_I]

I'm not sure if what I'm about to say would turn out useful, but I'm going to give it a try nevertheless.

Someone in the past said: "If you know the truth, the truth will set you free."

There are two sets of truth involved in this equation - the truth of knowing oneself, and the truth of knowing your opponent's motive.

First of all, you've to know the truth about yourself. Are you plump ? You're either plump or you're not. If you're plump, are you able to live with that truth ? If you're plump and you're unable to live with that truth, you're going to get very bruised even without any insinuation from a third party. In that case, the problem lies with you, and not the third party.

Then comes the motive of the person who passes that hurtful remark. The insinuation may be that you're plump or you're stupid etc. Before you get agitated, assess the motive of the person who passes that remark.

Even if the truth is you're plump, why should it concern a third party ? If I'm not your g/f to be, the fact that you're ugly or plump does not concern me. If I'm not your parent or teacher, the fact that you're stupid does not concern me. If I'm not related to you in that sense, why would I pass such a remark ? Why would I speak the obvious and choose to hurt you instead of being sensitive ?

I've come across many people who are not good looking or less intelligent, but I have not found the need to say it out loud to them. But there was one occasion when I met a very handsome medical doctor, and for some reason I felt threatened. Why ? I felt he was going to steal the limelight from me if we were to appear together in the same place. I'm not a doctor. I was feeling insecure myself, and I started looking for 'weak spots' in this CV. I found one - he was older than I was. In actual fact it didn't matter, but I made it matter. Whenever the subject was about this handsome doctor, I would not forget to mention the fact that he was older.

So the next time when someone passes a hurtful remark, think about his motive. In all likelihood you might have something so good about yourself that he felt so threatened.

A person who criticizes another person, more often than not, is out to promote himself.

Actually if only it was that simple. In some situations it's not. Take looks for eg. Now unless someone is really butt butt ugly calling him/her ugly is probably an insult at least to the person. Then again even an ugly person wouldn't take too kindly to it. A well known person that's considered ugly is pat mok for eg, then again i doubt she would appreciate being called ugly.


How about a stranger calls you auntie or uncle even though you're in your 20s. Isn't that a bad thing?


I would say what complicates things is the fact that most ppl are rather average in most aspects. Like not thin but not fat hence being called fat isn't very good right? Average height but not short nor tall so you know being called short is kind of insulting. Average in looks but it goes both ways some average ppl get called good looking and some get called ugly looking.

How are these average ppl going to know the truth about themselves?

A person of average build could either think he's fat or thin for eg.

That's the problem you see unless the person is so thick skinned and sees himself weighing like 130 kg for eg but calls himself thin.