Benitez: "Black cat or white cat does not matter as long as it can catch mice. Red jersey or blue jersey does not matter as long as it pays me a handsome severance package.
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- Thread starter Baimi
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Benitez: "Black cat or white cat does not matter as long as it can catch mice. Red jersey or blue jersey does not matter as long as it pays me a handsome severance package.
Benitez: "Sorry Torres, I am not able to bring Steven Gerrard over to Chelsea. But just pretend Juan Mata is Gerrard providing those killer passes to you like in the good old days and you will be scoring goals again."
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Delivery man: "Hello? The statute of Sir AlexFerguson which you ordered is here...huh, I got the wrong place?...this is the ManchesterCity stadium?"
Fernando Torres was under Benitez's hypnotic spell at Liverpool. Now Benitez is hoping to cast his magic on Torres again at Chelsea.
Ferguson: "Time-wasting by the opponents again! I will add another 5 minutes to my planned retirement date."
Coach #1: "Where shall we go for lunch? Restaurant, food court or hawker centre?"
Ferguson: "Can you tah pow for me? I can't join you guys, I've got to help van Persie work on his shooting."
Coach #2: "Can you also tah pow for me? Mee siam mai hum."
Coach #1: "Where shall we go for lunch? Restaurant, food court or hawker centre?"
Ferguson: "Can you tah pow for me? I can't join you guys, I've got to help van Persie work on his shooting."
Coach #2: "Can you also tah pow for me? Mee siam mai hum."
I think Coach #2 meant to order Laksa ˆ•ˆ
Man City security: "Hey this is the Manchester City stadium! You've delivered the Sir Alex Ferguson statute to the wrong stadium!"
Delivery man: "No, there is no mistake. I checked with Manchester United. They said to put it here!"
Dead men walking.
After losing their jobs at Chelsea and QPR, Roberto di Matteo and Mark Hughes found new jobs as fashion models.
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Statistical analysis revealed that all of QPR's goals were conceded when their Muslim players were doing their prayers.
Benitez: "Ashley Cole and Frank Lampard are leaving the club. Paris is this way and Shanghai that way."
I screwed Liverfool
I screwed Internazionale
Now I will go Stamford Bridge and screw Roman Ambrovich :p
At the Champions League semi-final last May....
Guardiola: "Eh, how is life at Chelsea huh?"
di Matteo (at that time interim manager and obviously feeling insecure that Guardiola will take the Chelsea manager job) : "Abramovich does not like botaks."
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Abramovich was shown apparently giving the thumbs-up to appointing Roberto di Matteo manager last May. Later his doctor revealed that Abramovich fractured his left thumb years ago and he could no longer bend it.
di Matteo: "KNN, Abramovich is calling me on my mobile phone again, telling me what tactics to use. Wah mai tia! Wah mai tia! (I don't want to listen! I don't want to listen!)"
Benitez: "Yes, you MUST place the ball right in front of Torres so that he can score."
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After seeing QPR lost to Man United, Harry Redknapp resigned on Saturday, before he was due to become manager on Sunday.
Redknapp: "Bang! You're dead!"
The MRT line was down again.
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