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Man Is Struck By Lightning While Masturbating To Bible

micromachine

Lieutenant General
Loyal
Mount Pleasant, UT | A repentant man from Utah was found in critical condition and rescued by Mt Pleasant patrol officers after the 66-year-old man allegedly told officers he had been masturbating to the Bible moments before being struck down by a lightning bolt.

The religious man who had decided to go for a stroll on Mount Pleasant that day was caught offset by a raging storm which ultimately might have cost him his life.

“Since my wife passed away last year, I often seek the tranquility of the hiking trails of Mount Pleasant,” he told local reporters. “I bring my Bible and meditate about God, Jesus and the Creation,” he explained. “I strongly believe God has punished me for my sinful ways that day and am glad God has given me a second chance to spread his word and tell my story,” he added.



Masturbation is a sin

Mr. Taylor wholeheartedly decries the fact that he was masturbating to the Bible moments before being struck down by lightning, a fact he wishes to share with others.

“I am ashamed to say that I was fulfilling my dirty needs while holding this sacred object, written down from the spoken word of God. If God has intended this to be my punishment for my sinful ways, then I feel I must share my story with the world so that others may avoid this dreadful path” he admits, visibly humbled by the whole experience.

Reading Ezekiel with a “pure mind”

Mr. Taylor acknowledges his sexual urges exploded while reading verses of Ezekiel 19 and 20, which he warns must be read only by “strong devout Christians” with a “greater understanding of the Bible’s inherent truths”.

“I was a bit depressed that day and that is when the Devil brought me to these passages and filled my body with sinful urges” he decries. “I was weak then, but God has shown me the way and until I die I shall share my story so others don’t pay as heavy a price as I did,” acknowledges the man that has suffered serious burns and injuries from the lightning bolt.

Ezekiel verses 19 and 20 read as follow:

New International Version

Yet she became more and more promiscuous as she recalled the days of her youth, when she was a prostitute in Egypt. There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses.
 

rurouni

Alfrescian
Loyal
where is rurouni? lol:biggrin:
Coincidentally, I was actually busy preparing my reply. :o


Mr. Taylor acknowledges his sexual urges exploded while reading verses of Ezekiel 19 and 20, which he warns must be read only by “strong devout Christians” with a “greater understanding of the Bible’s inherent truths”.

“I was a bit depressed that day and that is when the Devil brought me to these passages and filled my body with sinful urges” he decries. “I was weak then, but God has shown me the way and until I die I shall share my story so others don’t pay as heavy a price as I did,” acknowledges the man that has suffered serious burns and injuries from the lightning bolt.

Ezekiel verses 19 and 20 read as follow:

New International Version

Yet she became more and more promiscuous as she recalled the days of her youth, when she was a prostitute in Egypt. There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses.
To be precise, those verses are from Chapter 23, and I prefer the KJV:
kingjamesbibleonline.org/Ezekiel-23-20
(“For she doted upon their paramours, whose flesh is as the flesh of asses, and whose issue is like the issue of horses.” )

In any case, it's safer and more important to read the New Testament, especially the four Gospels, focusing on the actual words from the mouth of Jesus Christ, simply because we are now living in the period of the New Testament, after the human incarnation of God on earth about two thousand years ago.

We are no longer living in Old Testament times, therefore many of the Old Testament stories/teachings are no longer relevant; and it's precisely the attachment to Old Testament culture by many of the ancient Jews that Jesus Christ scolded them for, because they refused to believe that He was the promised Messiah, even though He worked so many miracles and fulfilled all the prophecies regarding the Messiah.
 

Raider

Guest
We are no longer living in Old Testament times, therefore many of the Old Testament stories/teachings are no longer relevant; and it's precisely the attachment to Old Testament culture by many of the ancient Jews that Jesus Christ scolded them for, because they refused to believe that He was the promised Messiah, even though He worked so many miracles and fulfilled all the prophecies regarding the Messiah.

are you telling us that your god flip prata as well? lol:biggrin:
 

rurouni

Alfrescian
Loyal
are you telling us that your god flip prata as well? lol:biggrin:
No, it's the majority of Old Testament Jews who "flip prata" during the Old Testament period, failing to resist the temptation to imitate the sinful cultures of the Gentiles, which caused the religious beliefs and behaviour of those Jews to become corrupt, and which is also why the modern Jews are still following Old Testament culture, and still waiting for the future arrival of their "Messiah", who they believe to be some kind of earthly king, because they refuse to believe/accept that God's Kingdom:
http://www.kingjamesbibleonline.org/John-18-36
("...is not of this world: if my kingdom were of this world, then would my servants fight, that I should not be delivered to the Jews: but now is my kingdom not from hence.")

Some of those Old Testament practices (e.g. circumcision) that were considered correct in the eyes of God back then were instituted as a form of religious discipline and as a reminder for certain religious things, but this was before the human incarnation of God; after the Incarnation, some of His rules changed, but changed for the better, so in that sense, God "flipped prata", but only God has the right to "flip prata", because only God (since He's Almighty) knows how to "flip prata" correctly and still maintain the goodness/integrity of the "prata".

Why God waited a few thousand years after Adam and Eve's original sin before punishing humanity by flooding the whole earth leaving only eight survivors, and why He waited a few thousand years more before incarnating Himself on earth as a man to show a physical example for people to follow, and why about two thousand years have passed and He still has not come to earth a second time to destroy all unrepentant sinners and prevent new humans from being produced (i.e. the "end of the world" that we are aware of now), I don't know.

Not everything about God needs to be known or understood by humans, otherwise we would be God Himself.
Certain things are mysteries, especially the mystery of sin (i.e. why some people choose to sin, while others manage to refrain from sinning; and why others repent after sinning, while others refuse to repent until death? Even God doesn't know the reason because He wants humans to have free will), so sometimes it's better to humbly accept the reality first, rather than waiting/wanting to know the reasons before accepting.

Just like, what is the reason for God's existence?
The answer is, there is no reason; God just exists, but He's a Good God who Cares for His creatures (even after they sin), and who is Merciful (a God of Mercy) to those who repent, but Merciless (a God of Justice) to those who refuse to repent.
If you ask "why?" again, my answer would still be "again, I don't know".
This is just the reality; or it's just "like that".
 
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Raider

Guest
No, it's the majority of Old Testament Jews who "flip prata" during the Old Testament period, failing to resist the temptation to imitate the sinful cultures of the Gentiles, which caused the religious beliefs and behaviour of those Jews to become corrupt, and which is also why the modern Jews are still following Old Testament culture, and still waiting for the future arrival of their "Messiah", who they believe to be some kind of earthly king, because they refuse to believe/accept that God's Kingdom:


Some of those Old Testament practices (e.g. circumcision) that were considered correct in the eyes of God back then were instituted as a form of religious discipline and as a reminder for certain religious things, but this was before the human incarnation of God; after the Incarnation, some of His rules changed, but changed for the better, so in that sense, God "flipped prata", but only God has the right to "flip prata", because only God (since He's Almighty) knows how to "flip prata" correctly and still maintain the goodness/integrity of the "prata".

Why God waited a few thousand years after Adam and Eve's original sin before punishing humanity by flooding the whole earth leaving only eight survivors, and why He waited a few thousand years more before incarnating Himself on earth as a man to show a physical example for people to follow, and why about two thousand years have passed and He still has not come to earth a second time to destroy all unrepentant sinners and prevent new humans from being produced (i.e. the "end of the world" that we are aware of now), I don't know.

Not everything about God needs to be known or understood by humans, otherwise we would be God Himself.
Certain things are mysteries, especially the mystery of sin (i.e. why some people choose to sin, while others manage to refrain from sinning; and why others repent after sinning, while others refuse to repent until death? Even God doesn't know the reason because He wants humans to have free will), so sometimes it's better to humbly accept the reality first, rather than waiting/wanting to know the reasons before accepting.

Just like, what is the reason for God's existence?
The answer is, there is no reason; God just exists, but He's a Good God who Cares for His creatures (even after they sin), and who is Merciful (a God of Mercy) to those who repent, but Merciless (a God of Justice) to those who refuse to repent.
If you ask "why?" again, my answer would still be "again, I don't know".
This is just the reality; or it's just "like that".

sounds like some smart man flip prata to justify own existence to create a new testament. lol:biggrin:

If god ia real, why must flip prata. no? lol:biggrin:
 

rurouni

Alfrescian
Loyal
a gambler at MBS or RWS table has the same faith as you. lol:biggrin:
I agree if you mean strength of faith, but the difference is that the gambler has a high chance of losing his/her money, which has been proven countless times.

Whereas I have zero chance of losing my soul to the Devil as long as I try my best to repent until I die, in which case I'll end up in Heaven to enjoy the company of God, His angels and His saints, and even a "a new heaven and a new earth" (in which my soul will be re-united with my body, which will even be an enhanced body) after the present world we're living in now comes to an end:
kingjamesbibleonline.org/Revelation-21-1_22-5
This has yet to be proven wrong. :wink:
 
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jw5

Moderator
Moderator
Loyal
a gambler at MBS or RWS table has the same faith as you. lol:biggrin:

I agree if you mean strength of faith, but the difference is that the gambler has a high chance of losing his/her money, which has been proven countless times.

Whereas I have zero chance of losing my soul to the Devil as long as I try my best to repent until I die, in which case I'll end up in Heaven to enjoy the company of God, His angels and His saints, and even a "a new heaven and a new earth" (in which my soul will be re-united with my body, which will even be an enhanced body) after the present world we're living in now comes to an end:
kingjamesbibleonline.org/Revelation-21-1_22-5
This has yet to be proven wrong. :wink:

To each his own, my forum brothers. :wink:
 
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