Lau and Lee tcss

Earnest: Been wanting to ask you a simple question for a long time but had no chance. May I?

Harry: Why not? You are my good brother-in-law unlike that bastard Nguk Lin. Go on ....

Earnest: I agree with the majority of S'poreans that the government must honour its promises to the people

Harry: Of course, Ernie.

Earnest: What about CPF? Why are the goal posts changing all the time? According to FIFA, football fields should be 100-110m long. You guys have now, without the consent of the people of S'pore, lengthened the field to 300m long. Why? Tell me why? I don't need the money, Harry. I am just pissed off why changes all the time. Can suka suka one is it?

Harry: Bulldog, let me be brutally honest with you. I know you can be trusted. We had no choice

Earnest: We?

Harry: Yes, we refers to the Cabinet. All of us, you know, very steady poon pi pi one. We want our citizens to enjoy their retirement with their hard earned blood and sweat money. But .....

Earnest: But what?

Harry: How's your health Ernie?

Earnest: Does it matter? We are already dead, for God's sake

Harry: Let me take a break and I will disclose to you the truth and nothing but the truth


to be continued ............................

getting more juicy

Earnest: How was your break, Harry?

Harry: Had several Kit Kats, Ernie

Earnest: Ready to tell me the truth about our CPF?

Harry: Let me tell you 2 things first. Last night I kena blanket party

Earnest: Who did it?

Harry: I think it was the Tunku with his Malaysian contingent

Earnest: Really?

Harry: He is just jealous. When we divorced in 1965, we turbo-ed on. Look at them. Still a kampong city

Earnest: Ok, next incident

Harry: I am in deep shit, Ernie

Earnest: How so?

Harry: Loong transferred my billions over to my account here. The bastards here insist on Sing dollar when I need to purchase things. All others can use hell notes. Isn't this discrimination? I am a lawyer and Cambridge educated. You graduated from Oxford. We are bright people. Tell me, if this is not discrimination, what is?

Earnest? True, true but there is no perfect world. Anyway, what happened to your billions

Harry: I went to the bank. Teller informed me two guys forged my signature and withdrew all the cash. Investigations and CCTV showed that it was Lim Ban Lim and the One-Eye Dragon who were involved

Earnest: Ban Lim the gunman and One-Eye the gunman?

Harry: Spot on. The Senior Investigator, Yong Hong further disclosed that Adrian Lim was the driver of the get-away car

Earnest: Adrian, the child killer eh?

Harry: Yes. A pity Yong Hong is not CP here. I need allies down here but Yong Hong told me he has to start from the bottom. No specials for grads and scholars. Hope Winston can join us quickly. The Armed Forces here is weak

Earnest: Ok, glad you are ok physically. CPF, Harry?

Harry: You have anything on you?

Earnest: Harry, for God's sake don't be paranoid. You need me to strip for you to check?

Harry: Ok, you are my good brother-in-law. Ernie, THE MONEY IN CPF IS GONE! That butch bitch daughter-in-law of mine lost everything. Buy high sell low, what the fuck? I offered her to Ka-Shing, in national interest. Ka-Shing refused to take her because he doesn't want to be a bankrupt. This CPF thing troubled Choo so much she had a showdown talk with Ching at Oxley. Choo seized a pistol from her SO to stand-by. She wanted to finish off Ching. But when Ching threatened to cut off Loong's little bro, Choo lan-lan. Even Ling was furious when she learnt what happened

Earnest: Shit! So, Roy was right

Harry, Yes, unfortunately but Ching is the culprit not Loong

Earnest: But, he is PM and PM must be accountable. Conflict of interest from the beginning..........

Harry: We are still figuring out if the football field should be lengthened to 800m

Earnest: That is, if PAP forms the next government. Who is this young boy who continues to irritate Loong?

Harry: Infamous Amos. He deserves it. Why show me with Maggie? I have good taste. At least show me dogging Princess Diana lah! By the way, bumped into both the other night. Both pretended they didn't know me

to be continued ...............

There is still money in the CPF portfolio.
But I disagree with the over-priced 99-year lease HDB flats.

Earnest: Harry, tell me more about Saliva Lim

Harry: Mention her name, my blood boils

Earnest: Why?

Harry: Tua Bah and Boon Hui should have promised her everything under the sun to make her stay in the SPF. They failed. Look, Low alone cannot attract the ang mo phai candidates. He is a Chinese helicopter. But with SL in, the ang mo phais found WP more palatable. That is my take

Earnest: Is she out to decimate the country? Is she working for a foreign power?

Harry: None at all. But she is still a threat. All threats must be destroyed. When activists kpkb, I say they are Marxists. When my ex-comrades challenged me, I say they are Communists. When JBJ tried to sabo me, I used all means at my disposal to fix him

Earnest: No gentleman will enter politics. Dirty business

Harry: Glad you did not join us. You are too decent. Lawyers will make great politicians. They lie all the time

Earnest: That is why I read History

Harry: You read about this guy, Meng Seng?

Earnest: Yes, I did. From Sammyboy. He is very popular there. Very respected for his views. Should have been a MIW. Any regrets?

Harry: Ernie, not all able ones are despatched to fight elections. We make use of able people in other ways. They won't be expose to sunlight

Earnest: That is getting very complicated

Harry: Just know that I fought all my battles using everything I had


to be continued .........................

Earnest: Been reading the Shitty Times the past few days. Lots of happenings back home. Why is DPM acting this way? Saliva makaned or luak, he had to say something. Low commented on my student Tuck Yew, he also must say something. Harry, you better intervene. Like Tracy said, PAP is crumbling. More so after you left

Harry: Took me decades to build up S'pore and look at the mess now. Chee Hean is a busybody. His two attacks were very childish. So what if that gal ate or luak at Fengshan? Is she banned there? Did she cause trouble there?

Earnest: Self-fear and lacking in confidence. Sad

Harry: Absolutely. Look here, Low is Low Thia Kiang. He is not Crocodile Dundee! Why accuse him of shedding crocodile tears? Our voters arent stupid. They sense desperation in the MIW

Earnest: Honestly, can PAP maintain status quo?

Harry: If can, like strike Toto 1st prize. Opposition getting stronger. More credible candidates nowadays. No more churi bicycles type

Earnest: Vulnerable GRCs and SMCs?

Harry: WP will retain all their seats. Hougang and PE may improve on last performance. In Aljunied, maybe drop in % but still a win for WP. All SMCs will see close contests. Tin Tin will have to be on her own. Woody didnt want her. Threatened to resign if Loong insist on Tin Tin paired with Woody. My greatest GRC fear us East Coast. I smell defeat. Our team us weak there. Sia Suay is a liability. He cant even speak proper English. The worst thing is, he is a thief. Steal bicycles still ok. Toothpicks? I really dunno what to say. What do you think?

Earnest: That is true. Earning millions and stealing tooth picks? A disgrace. Should charge him in court for theft

Harry: See, Chee Hean causes headache. Must take 2 panadols. Then comes Sia Suay. Another 2 panadols

Earnest: Next GRC ?

Harry: Woody better pray hard. He may be George Goh after GE

Earnest: Since when he included George in his name?

Harry: Akan datang when he loses

to be continued .....

Charlie99 said:

There is still money in the CPF portfolio.
But I disagree with the over-priced 99-year lease HDB flats.

Click to expand...

HDB buys land from SLA -> left hand transfer money to right hand.

After transfer done, HDB includes land cost in price of HDB flat.

Result: Citizens screwed many times over.

Earnest: Aljunued GRC MPs staying put; Harry

Harry: Shit! Was hoping SL and/or LTK leave

Earnest: Why?

Harry: Coz my MIW would tekan them. How can Chairman and/or Sec- Gen leave when the mess is not cleared? That would be irresponsible and voters may be pissed

Earnest: Wise choice then?

Harry: Given their predicament, smart move. They know their EC candidates are equally able

Earnest: Cant wait for GE to start. Hope Loong is ready

Harry: This will be his first battle without Choo and I to guide him like a child. He must be brave. And steady. Always think several steps ahead. Dont be like Chee Hean. If Chee Hean is a dog, easy to poison him. Throw him poison he will also swallow thinking it's good food.

Harry:

Harry: Master, master, remember me ?

Hong Choon: You look familiar but I cant really recall. I have been here for a long time

Harry: I am LKY. Lee Kuan Yew. Prime Minister, Senior Minister, Minister Mentor of S'pore. The country that went from 3rd world to first under my charge. Remember me now?

Hong Choon: Rings a bell now. What is it?

Harry: Need to consult you like I did in the past. GE is coming soon. How? Can Loong make it? Can PAP sapu all the seats? I pay you, no problem one

Hong Choon: Heard your money all gone. Ban Lim and One-Eye Dragon took them all

Harry: But still alot in S'pore. Temasek can atm you

Hong Choon: You are still a liar. Temasek is broke. That son-in-law of yours us evil

Harry: But Ling is still single

Hong Choon: I was referring to Mr Ho Ching

Harry: Oh I see, I see

Hong Choon: Life here ok for you?

Harry: Very bad. No friends to tcss to. Other day, secret societies chaps demanded protection money from me. Slapped me in a cul de sac when I said I had no money. They made me clean toilets instead

Hong Choon: Lucky you. Had I known, would have gotten them to hang you with piano wires

Harry: Maste, dont leh. Give chance ok? How you see GE?

Hong Choon: Good, good, very good ........

Harry: Thank you, master. Appreciate that

Hong Choon: My sentence not complete yet

Harry: No need landslide victory. Win can already

Hong Choon: Opposition going to win!

Harry: Not possible

Hong Choon: Karma, karma, my friend

Harry: Can I do anything to help Loong?

Hong Choon: What do you think?

Harry: Why you sound like Teo Chee Hean?

Hong Choon: I dont know what to say?

Harry: Shit, isnt that Tin Tin?

Hong Choon: Too late Kuan Yew. It is all over. See you. I need to go receive new arrivals

Keep these stories cumming, bro GD!

Cant help but admire how you unravel the plot and keep it up to date. Interesting! Thanks!

GoldenDragon said:

Harry: Master, master, remember me ?

Hong Choon: You look familiar but I cant really recall. I have been here for a long time

Harry: I am LKY. Lee Kuan Yew. Prime Minister, Senior Minister, Minister Mentor of S'pore. The country that went from 3rd world to first under my charge. Remember me now?

Hong Choon: Rings a bell now. What is it?

Harry: Need to consult you like I did in the past. GE is coming soon. How? Can Loong make it? Can PAP sapu all the seats? I pay you, no problem one

Hong Choon: Heard your money all gone. Ban Lim and One-Eye Dragon took them all

Harry: But still alot in S'pore. Temasek can atm you

Hong Choon: You are still a liar. Temasek is broke. That son-in-law of yours us evil

Harry: But Ling is still single

Hong Choon: I was referring to Mr Ho Ching

Harry: Oh I see, I see

Hong Choon: Life here ok for you?

Harry: Very bad. No friends to tcss to. Other day, secret societies chaps demanded protection money from me. Slapped me in a cul de sac when I said I had no money. They made me clean toilets instead

Hong Choon: Lucky you. Had I known, would have gotten them to hang you with piano wires

Harry: Maste, dont leh. Give chance ok? How you see GE?

Hong Choon: Good, good, very good ........

Harry: Thank you, master. Appreciate that

Hong Choon: My sentence not complete yet

Harry: No need landslide victory. Win can already

Hong Choon: Opposition going to win!

Harry: Not possible

Hong Choon: Karma, karma, my friend

Harry: Can I do anything to help Loong?

Hong Choon: What do you think?

Harry: Why you sound like Teo Chee Hean?

Hong Choon: I dont know what to say?

Harry: Shit, isnt that Tin Tin?

Hong Choon: Too late Kuan Yew. It is all over. See you. I need to go receive new arrivals

Click to expand...

ha ha ha ha
hee he he hee hee

ROTFFLMFAO

pyshock said:

Cant help but admire how you unravel the plot and keep it up to date. Interesting! Thanks!

Click to expand...

Thank you. Old folks very free. Need to keep busy. If not, Mandai will come soon.