THE TRUTH!!! CPF = Coffin and Prayers Fund

Timerty · Jul 9, 2014

Instead of CPF use for retirement spending, finally become for funeral spending and money to pay for your kids' filial services.

CPF = Coffin and Prayers Fund

Hell money need money you know?

Convert CPF into Hell money so one can live in luxury only when one go to HELL!!

Don't forget also to burn paper gold credit card, paper Mercedes, paper gold and platinum bars, and a few paper servants!!! Burn a hello kitty soft toy also for pet :biggrin:

laksaboy · Jul 9, 2014

I don't think you can even use the CPF for paying for funeral rites and accessories.

Timerty · Jul 9, 2014

laksaboy said:
I don't think you can even use the CPF for paying for funeral rites and accessories.

No, of course not so easy. The dead person must first get a loan from relatives for the funeral first, and then the CPF withdraw can use to repay the loan.

Die already still have to loan!!

Leongsam · Jul 9, 2014

CPF is the goose that lays the golden eggs. Withdrawing all your money is like killing the goose.

What you want is a continuous supply of golden eggs to last your lifetime and that is what the CPF minimum sum ensures.

I would like to thank the PAP for coming up with such a responsible scheme. It proves what a good government they are. The ministers are worth every penny they're paid.

Timerty · Jul 9, 2014

Leongsam said:
CPF is the goose that lays the golden eggs. Withdrawing all your money is like killing the goose.

What you want is a continuous supply of golden eggs to last your lifetime and that is what the CPF minimum sum ensures.

Old people want to have their golden eggs near their bedside hidden inside milo tins and sofa cushions, the more modern ones would put inside atm card for emergency.

If suddenly end up in hospital or kick bucket, how to go to CPF board to take out and use?

Next time the ministers lie on death bed want to reach for tissue to wipe ass also cannot reach, then they will know how much trouble they have caused for old people.

soIsee · Jul 9, 2014

Leongsam said:
CPF is the goose that lays the golden eggs. Withdrawing all your money is like killing the goose.

What you want is a continuous supply of golden eggs to last your lifetime and that is what the CPF minimum sum ensures.

I would like to thank the PAP for coming up with such a responsible scheme. It proves what a good government they are. The ministers are worth every penny they're paid.

Most times I get very tired explaining the concept of Con People fund to ppl like you.

I will make this one last time to say this.

CPF was never a goose that LAYS or will ever lay ANY GOLDEN EGGS for Sinkie after 55.

This goose, if you prefer to call it as such, is used to create GOLDEN eggs before it reaches it life span of exactly 55 years.

Thereafter, smart ppl given the choice ( that is IF Sinkie were ever given THAT choice) should KILL this goose upon reaching that time frame, releasing the funds for them to enjoy their retirement for real.

Of course, conmen and women dressed in white, in disguise of acting for the good of the common folks, had borrowed against the funds and having no intention of ever returning the lump sum back to those moronic Sinkie, whose hard earned money, was instead used as a 'tool' against them.

Like in your statement...A GOOSE THAT LAYS GOLDEN EGGS.

Looks like it is GOLDEN shit to the Sinkie! LoL

Leongsam · Jul 9, 2014

Timerty said:
Old people want to have their golden eggs near their bedside hidden inside milo tins and sofa cushions, the more modern ones would put inside atm card for emergency.

The eggs come in the form of a monthly payout. Old farts can opt to withdraw the money in cash and they can put it wherever they want.

Leongsam · Jul 9, 2014

soIsee said:
Thereafter, smart ppl given the choice ( that is IF Sinkie were ever given THAT choice) should KILL this goose upon reaching that time frame, releasing the funds for them to enjoy their retirement for real.

Sinkies are free to withdraw all the funds beyond the minimum sum upon reaching 55.

However, if all they have is the minimum sum or less, withdrawing the whole lot won't result in an enjoyable retirement at all simply because the amount is far too low to be stretched over a decade or more. Many would spend it well before they die and they'd be penniless. They'd be destitute at 60 with nothing to their names.

The CPF minimum scheme prevents this from happening. It provides a regular stream of funds to live on. It is responsible scheme which I commend the government for creating.

winnipegjets · Jul 9, 2014

Leongsam said:
CPF is the goose that lays the golden eggs. Withdrawing all your money is like killing the goose.

CPF gives 2 percent return when the average return in safe investment is 7 percent; your comprehension of golden eggs is shockingly wrong.

What you want is a continuous supply of golden eggs to last your lifetime and that is what the CPF minimum sum ensures.

4 percent dividend payout in an income etf with potential of capital growth. Why would anyone want to settle for 2 percent?

Last a lifetime my foot ...you will be lucky if the CPF real purchasing power can last for 10 years.

winnipegjets · Jul 9, 2014

Leongsam said:
The eggs come in the form of a monthly payout. Old farts can opt to withdraw the money in cash and they can put it wherever they want.

The annuity is a rip-off.

Leongsam · Jul 9, 2014

winnipegjets said:
The annuity is a rip-off.

It may be a rip-off in your opinion but for someone who has not succeeded in saving a penny after 3 decades of work, it is a godsend.

Lizzert · Jul 10, 2014

Leongsam said:
CPF is the goose that lays the golden eggs. Withdrawing all your money is like killing the goose.

What you want is a continuous supply of golden eggs to last your lifetime and that is what the CPF minimum sum ensures.

I would like to thank the PAP for coming up with such a responsible scheme. It proves what a good government they are. The ministers are worth every penny they're paid.

So then, that jinxed Whore must be the evil witch that keeps stealing the golden eggs as soon as they pop out of the goose's twat..

Leongsam · Jul 10, 2014

Lizzert said:
So then, that jinxed Whore must be the evil witch that keeps stealing the golden eggs as soon as they pop out of the goose's twat..

Madam Ho is a very talented individual and she deserves her cut just as any top notch fund manager would.

Without her financial skills, all Singaporeans would be in a far worse state.

Cestbon · Jul 10, 2014

Timerty said:
No, of course not so easy. The dead person must first get a loan from relatives for the funeral first, and then the CPF withdraw can use to repay the loan.

Die already still have to loan!!

Very funny but is the fact. :smile:

leetahbar · Jul 10, 2014

they shall legalize it that u must only engage FAIRPRICE CASKET if u want the coffin prayer fund to be approved.

Dragonhead · Jul 10, 2014

Timerty said:
Old people want to have their golden eggs near their bedside hidden inside milo tins and sofa cushions, the more modern ones would put inside atm card for emergency.

If suddenly end up in hospital or kick bucket, how to go to CPF board to take out and use?

Next time the ministers lie on death bed want to reach for tissue to wipe ass also cannot reach, then they will know how much trouble they have caused for old people.

These Ministers are the elites and multi-millionaires. They already got trustee to handle their CPF money once they kick the bucket, nothing to worry about where their CPF money goes to. As long as they live, they can still use their CPF money. Once dead, the trustee will take good care of it for them.

Only the poor ordinary sinkies know nothing about using trustee. Once mati, their CPF money will go to their beneficiary, if they have one, or else the Govt makan it.

Dragonhead · Jul 10, 2014

Leongsam said:
Madam Ho is a very talented individual and she deserves her cut just as any top notch fund manager would.

Without her financial skills, all Singaporeans would be in a far worse state.

Boss, how come you sing praises without putting on your thinking cap?

Yingge · Jul 10, 2014

Who ask you to put all your CPF money in Ordinary account???

I use it to buy HDB flat 20 years ago... Now intend to sell it... The return is above 150% and can cash out about 200K...

Stupid ass put it there and wait for interest... :rolleyes:

Leongsam · Jul 10, 2014

Yingge said:
Who ask you to put all your CPF money in Ordinary account???

I use it to buy HDB flat 20 years ago... Now intend to sell it... The return is above 150% and can cash out about 200K...

Stupid ass put it there and wait for interest...

That's exactly what I have been doing over the years. Using CPF to invest in property is such a great option that anyone who doesn't has to be severely lacking in grey matter.

The best part about this scheme is that it does not impact your monthly cash flow whatsoever. The loan is being paid off with money that you can't use anyway. The best part of it all is your employer is actually paying for half your house.

No other pension fund in the world has such flexibility and has the potential to offer such fantastic returns. It's ZERO dollars in and hundreds of thousands out.

Huat-Ah · Jul 10, 2014

Leongsam said:
That's exactly what I have been doing over the years. Using CPF to invest in property is such a great option that anyone who doesn't has to be severely lacking in grey matter.

The best part about this scheme is that it does not impact your monthly cash flow whatsoever. The loan is being paid off with money that you can't use anyway. The best part of it all is your employer is actually paying for half your house.

No other pension fund in the world has such flexibility and has the potential to offer such fantastic returns. It's ZERO dollars in and hundreds of thousands out.

Then come back to Singapore and instead of talking so much CRAP on your forum ! Action speaks louder than words.

Don't be a street beggar, come back and bank more money :smile:

Unless you want to be a CUNT.

THE TRUTH!!! CPF = Coffin and Prayers Fund

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