The "Sideswipe" Column

[scroobal]

I am sure many of you remember the legendary "Hock Lock Siew" column where senior writers would take turns writing articles along a themed line.

I was wondering if a similar approach can be used to address those who are less educated who have the habit of taking an obscure topic where many have no clue and writing in a "respectable" and "grammatical" in attempt to give it credence. Clearly we are looking at those who are seeking recognition.

Another possible theme is the redemption of NTUC vouchers in a tie up with SBF. The art of whoring can be a sub-theme. Other sub-themes are how not to be bushwhacked while talking about put bulls.

Yet another theme is how to shoot a troll once and for all. That is if you can spot it in the first place. Along the same line is how to let others shoot the troll and let them think that bravado is an attribute.

I am sure others might have other ideas and this being the start of the holiday season, let have a bit of fun with this.

 

[kingrant]

Good idea (in points whores' speak, I am carrying yr balls)! Maybe you should up my points, otw they will be sorely disappointed.

However, for some, this- a SBF Hock Lock Siew kind of topic- may be an impossible task, and such a thread smells of snobbery and high brow stuff. Perhaps, a simple language class shld be started on how to write essays in simple clear English by Sam our resident teacher.

Then again, I'll be accused of talking down now.

As for the other points, I wait with bated breath to exchange my modest cache of points for NTUC vouchers (cash if possible). Troll shooting & baiting are also excellent sports for the coming season.

 

[Perspective]

What do you expect from a metal Transformer robot?

 

[scroobal]

Firstly in the spirit of Christmas and in line with recent trends, let me Up you.

Secondly, I always struggled with Hock Lock Siew Column as I suspected someone ended up building a rod for the corporate back and all of us suffered. Eventually it became a vehicle to speak in tongue and had been used as a troll from time to time to drag out bigwigs with having their hinny sued. When Mano Sabnani began penning under this plume de nome, it sounded a bit odd both Sino and Indo wise.

Thirdly as I have indicated previously, my overtures to NTUC on redemption either have been ignored or misunderstood. On one occasion, they told me that SBF is well known but they question us arseholes ever contributing to society. I told them them not look look for grammar or civility but take us on content and relevancy. They told me on that basis they can't as they themselves are devoid of it. My next stop is Watsons.

Fourthly, shooting trolls is relatively easy. As easy as writing one liners, usually rhetoric and accompanied with the customary condiments of "LOL" and the like. Spotting them however is real hard. As you probably note, Sam as of last week has gone into overdrive and the plebians are looking for smoke without water but with fire.

Lastly, my new year resolution for the year ahead is not to talk down or up but to talk thru. Hopefully with a sledgehammer so that by 2016, questioning incompetency and incumbency in the cover of meritocracy becomes second nature. Those who struggle should join grassroots organisation starting with RCs. Its a wonderful refuge for the slow, the really slow and the awfully slow. Both of mind and action.

Good idea (in points whores' speak, I am carrying yr balls)! Maybe you should up my points, otw they will be sorely disappointed.However, for some, this- a SBF Hock Lock Siew kind of topic- may be an impossible task, and such a thread smells of snobbery and high brow stuff. Perhaps, a simple language class shld be started on how to write essays in simple clear English by Sam our resident teacher.Then again, I'll be accused of talking down now.As for the other points, I wait with bated breath to exchange my modest cache of points for NTUC vouchers (cash if possible). Troll shooting & baiting are also excellent sports for the coming season.

 

[scroobal]

We thank Ms Tin Pei Ling for being the first contributor to the Sideswipe Column

Sideswipe Column - 23 rd Dec 2011: - Ms Tin Pei Ling

Our Mass Rapid Transit - in light of recent chain of eventsOver the past few days, many Singaporeans have been affected by the MRT service disruptions. Even more have expressed concern that such a major and serious series of service failures could have occurred in Singapore. A friend of mine could not even get home till midnight last Thursday and was understandably very upset when she related her experience to me. Other friends and residents have also approached me, emailed me or FB-ed me to give their feedback on the matter. I did not think it would have been at all helpful for me to publicly add to the chorus of criticisms directed at SMRT, especially when the priority then was to solve the problems and get the trains running properly again. Now that the system seems to have stabilised, please allow me to make a few points on the matter.

This unfortunate episode has uncovered many faults – from the maintenance regime, crisis management to public communications. The Prime Minister has directed that a Committee of Inquiry be convened to undertake a full investigation. This is a decisive and important move, to find out what went wrong and to put things right. SMRT must take this in the right spirit. It is critical for SMRT to take an honest look at itself, and address not just the areas of failure, but the systemic issues as well. Apart from that, the Government should also examine what more it could have done in this episode, and update its policies to prevent any future recurrences. [As a side note, I thought it was an assuring move to have the Minister of Transport Lui Tuck Yew making personal visits to observe and ensure that crisis management was carried out properly.]

When the MRT was built in the 1980s, it was at that time one of the most modern mass transit systems in the world. I remember it felt pretty exciting during those days when we tried out the new MRT, and sometimes, we would take it to nowhere in particular just for the fun of it. But over the last 2 decades, technology has advanced rapidly, some infrastructure has become dated and the load on the system has multiplied manifold. Of course, this does not mean that we should therefore accept service lapses. Singaporeans expect and deserve the best possible mass transit system in the world, regardless of its age. This also places a heavier responsibility on SMRT to focus on maintenance, to keep standards of safety and service high. I can appreciate that some parts of the infrastructure will be hard to change, e.g. we cannot build larger train platforms, but the tracks, rolling stock, signalling equipment, etc. all can and should be regularly inspected, serviced and upgraded.

Just as importantly, we need good software. We need robust processes - on maintenance, crisis management and service recovery; the staff need to be well trained; and emergency procedures need to be regularly rehearsed. But more than these, SMRT officers must have the right attitude. They should not be working off templates (as some have pointed out…) but should instead be able to respond competently, confidently and in a timely manner to an evolving situation. They must have pride in the role that they play, no matter how small it may seem in the grand scheme of things, because major disasters are often the result of the smallest of lapses. After all, it seems that a set of small claws on the third rail was what caused the major problems. Above all, SMRT officers must possess a strong service culture, motivated to always do what is best for Singaporean commuters, and not just for achieving corporate goals. When one has the right “heart”, it will show and I think Singaporeans will appreciate that.

Finally, I know that the SMRT officers, especially its frontline staff, backroom operators and engineers, have gone through a lot these last few days. They are the people who work through weekends and public holidays to keep trains running. They will again be at their stations as many of the rest of us break for Christmas and the New Year. It is the season of giving, forgiveness and new hopes. I hope they will keep up their spirits, and not feel too dejected. Positive energy keeps us going (negativity drains our energy) and I wish SMRT the best as it goes about addressing the problems it faces. I hope the end of the year will also signal the end of problems for our MRT systems, and that the new year will bring pleasant journeys on our public transport for all!

 

[zhihau]

What do you expect from a metal Transformer robot?

Robots in disguise...

 

[kingrant]

Firstly, I wish to thank Ms Tin for consenting to be "sideswiped". I am sure she prefers being poked. On FB I mean, you dirty teekopeks!

You didnt say so, but I hope your shopping style has not been cramped by all these SMRT breakdowns.

I am so glad that you are putting aside your extraordinary company and instead descended from your perch and proving yrself to be one of us, the great unwashed, and standing up for the ordinary worker in SMRT.

As you know, one of your parliamentary colleagues has insulted our Malay and Indian brothers and sisters who worked for hard in SMRT during the breakdowns. They have been blamed for not being able to use Singlish properly, so causing the big fat mess in incident management. I wonder what you are going to do about it. It was Halimah Yacob who came out to defend her countrymen. You are not an Indian or Malay so I suppose you are lucky not to be singled out for non-defence of the races. Nevertheless, I wonder if you have gotten over yr "I dont know what to say! (stomp) (stomp)" habit and say at least a word or two in defence.

I mean, I am no MP or great leader of men, but I sure know when our brothers and sisters from the minority races are being derogated and insulted, and I take great umbrage. I sincerely hope you do too.

 

[Windsor]

We the citizens of Singapore, are very utterly grateful that you M/s Tin has deign to speak to us. Your profound words to commiserate and empathise the horrendous experiences we had with SMRT contained words of wisdom, which we hold dear to our hearts and will remember to end of days.

You have also shown those other MP's, your colleagues that it is not difficult at all to comment on the incident without putting your foot in the mouth. A disease prevalent amongst your colleagues and to which was very much evident as amplified by the Honourable Mr. Seng Han Tong in his attacks on our lowly Malay and Indian SMRT employees. It was admirably done and we believe the way you showed us how not to put your foot into your mouth is to stomp on them while speaking. Now that is an art all by itself and we hope those colleagues will learn by watching you and to stamp their feet all the time whilst speaking, thus avoiding this deadly disease.

We thank you for taking your precious time away from your photo-taking sessions to read our humble letter.

Yours truly,
Windsor (The SBF Team)

 

[Thick Face Black Heart]

The "Sideswipe" Column

I am sure many of you remember the legendary "Hock Lock Siew" column where senior writers would take turns writing articles along a themed line.

I am sure others might have other ideas and this being the start of the holiday season, let have a bit of fun with this.

The idea is nice but the name is not. The bell doesn't ring right, and the personality doesn't fit.

Maybe the name should be "Alamaking!" with the exclamation mark for emphasis. Many of the ingredients and the persona is there, though the long rambling without cutting to the chase, or the incessant pandering to the obvious to the point of complete staleness is absent. There is however one ingredient that stands out, and it's the word "drivel".

There can also be a side column, entitled, "Scroo you!", where the stalkers and brickbats get to have their soapbox.

 

[scroobal]

A lot of research was undertaken before this programme was launched. My first idea was similar to "Scroo you" but an independent study found that my "fan club" is rather limited and the content tend to be repetitious. Believe me it would have uplifted my ego but numbers are numbers.

I then found that there are people who indeed write rubbish on things that they have no clue. No malice but genuinely like to contribute. And the PAP and grassroots is full of them and Ms Tin is a classic case. Imagine suggesting Universal Studios in a political interview. Don't you think her article right up this alley and timely too. Another veteran in this space is Ex-Minister Lim Boon Heng who suggested tertiary education qualification come with expiry date. I am sure it is not lost on you that despite your quality contributions to this esteem forum, your points do not reflect that. I therefore cannot put your name down as the anchor title as you do not have the points and you also write with substance - lost on both counts. The pool is rather limited where high points and lack of content are requirements. I have excluded Alamaking as he has never attempted to his credit to be pretentious. As someone suggested, he wears his heart on his sleeve.

Anyway the search is on for next contributor to this Column. Anyone know how to reach Lionel?

The idea is nice but the name is not. The bell doesn't ring right, and the personality doesn't fit.

Maybe the name should be "Alamaking!" with the exclamation mark for emphasis. Many of the ingredients and the persona is there, though the long rambling without cutting to the chase, or the incessant pandering to the obvious to the point of complete staleness is absent. There is however one ingredient that stands out, and it's the word "drivel".

There can also be a side column, entitled, "Scroo you!", where the stalkers and brickbats get to have their soapbox.

 

[scroobal]

This lady is clearly a nutcase. Writing such a letter during a period of concern. We are talking about passengers stuck in a dark tunnel, window broken to get fresh air, repeat of the same etc. She should reflect what would have happened in a serious incident. For goodness, so many rail claws missing.

Firstly, I wish to thank Ms Tin for consenting to be "sideswiped". I am sure she prefers being poked. On FB I mean, you dirty teekopeks!

You didnt say so, but I hope your shopping style has not been cramped by all these SMRT breakdowns.

I am so glad that you are putting aside your extraordinary company and instead descended from your perch and proving yrself to be one of us, the great unwashed, and standing up for the ordinary worker in SMRT.

As you know, one of your parliamentary colleagues has insulted our Malay and Indian brothers and sisters who worked for hard in SMRT during the breakdowns. They have been blamed for not being able to use Singlish properly, so causing the big fat mess in incident management. I wonder what you are going to do about it. It was Halimah Yacob who came out to defend her countrymen. You are not an Indian or Malay so I suppose you are lucky not to be singled out for non-defence of the races. Nevertheless, I wonder if you have gotten over yr "I dont know what to say! (stomp) (stomp)" habit and say at least a word or two in defence.

I mean, I am no MP or great leader of men, but I sure know when our brothers and sisters from the minority races are being derogated and insulted, and I take great umbrage. I sincerely hope you do too.

 

[scroobal]

At one stage, I actually contemplated titling this Column - "Gaffes and all" or even "Foot in Mouth Disease'. It did not sound distinguished. I am sure Zorrow Lim will grace this column eventually.

We the citizens of Singapore, are very utterly grateful that you M/s Tin has deign to speak to us. Your profound words to commiserate and empathise the horrendous experiences we had with SMRT contained words of wisdom, which we hold dear to our hearts and will remember to end of days.

You have also shown those other MP's, your colleagues that it is not difficult at all to comment on the incident without putting your foot in the mouth. A disease prevalent amongst your colleagues and to which was very much evident as amplified by the Honourable Mr. Seng Han Tong in his attacks on our lowly Malay and Indian SMRT employees. It was admirably done and we believe the way you showed us how not to put your foot into your mouth is to stomp on them while speaking. Now that is an art all by itself and we hope those colleagues will learn by watching you and to stamp their feet all the time whilst speaking, thus avoiding this deadly disease.

We thank you for taking your precious time away from your photo-taking sessions to read our humble letter.

Yours truly,
Windsor (The SBF Team)

 

[eatshitndie]

would be more heart warming and blissful if this is renamed the "asswipe" column. :p

 

[scroobal]

Does sound more regal and appropriate.

would be more heart warming and blissful if this is renamed the "asswipe" column. :p

 

[Perspective]

Robots in disguise...

That's why I don't choose nicks that are nouns like a robot, a person, a book, whatever. I use a nick that is a verb.

I'm not trying to join in the blanket party and have my own differences with TS. But this chap was a real chicken-and-duck talk when he used to hang around the Politics section. Am relieved he is somewhat out of there - which means I am saved from the irritation of that and he moves to comment on things he is probably better at. Mutually beneficial.

 

[scroobal]

Quite a comment about you choosing your "nick"

That's is the trouble when you join a forum with your real name. People know who you are. You no longer can be truthful as you might offend your friends and your party where your wife is a key member. You will have defend your friends and your party even if their comments and actions don't make sense. We on the hand can make independent comments as we have no allegiance or affinities to look after. To you is Chicken and Duck - inconsistent. If you were well schooled you can understand it straight away. The other issue is the lack of education is making you feel left out as you cannot comprehend. So it again chicken and duck. Its the same with Zihau sadly, he now seldom engages in conversations to avoid confrontation. And we all know his EQ is very high. This will continue to plaque you . You have to make the comments because you have to show your allegiance and that is human nature. As no one knows who the rest of us are, we don't have to carry that chip on our shoulders. Your ego and not your poor education that is letting you down here. Most people will use real life experiences to learn.You have not.

Despite your identity known for over 8 to 9 years, you still carrying on. GMS is shooting for parliament and he wants that branding and that was for you as well for sometime. Not sure why now. Its common sense. Would Jixiaolan say anything bad about GMS and You. Certainly not as GMS is his client and he hopes to complete another transaction for him. This is despite GMS and you having a bitter fall out and you constantly at him in this forum. Jixiaolan and you need each other for your trade so the same applies. And your conducts are clearly reflected in these forums.

Ramseth has been with WP and again allegiance is an issue. When he creates a mess, you keep quiet. He and his personal friend brought down the political folder and you think you are King there when you remained silent through out the mess. Quite rich don't you think. One day, I explain your "political acumen" in this forum. And it won't be a chicken and duck conversation. You and the rest will know as well.

That's why I don't choose nicks that are nouns like a robot, a person, a book, whatever. I use a nick that is a verb.I'm not trying to join in the blanket party and have my own differences with TS. But this chap was a real chicken-and-duck talk when he used to hang around the Politics section. Am relieved he is somewhat out of there - which means I am saved from the irritation of that and he moves to comment on things he is probably better at. Mutually beneficial.

 

[OverTheCounter]

Quite a comment about you choosing your "nick"That's is the trouble when you join a forum with your real name. People know who you are. You no longer can be truthful as you might offend your friends and your party where your wife is a key member. You will have defend your friends and your party even if their comments and actions don't make sense. We on the hand can make independent comments as we have no allegiance or affinities to look after. To you is Chicken and Duck - inconsistent. If you were well schooled you can understand it straight away. The other issue is the lack of education is making you feel left out as you cannot comprehend. So it again chicken and duck. Its the same with Zihau sadly, he now seldom engages in conversations to avoid confrontation. And we all know his EQ is very high. This will continue to plaque you . You have to make the comments because you have to show your allegiance and that is human nature. As no one knows who the rest of us are, we don't have to carry that chip on our shoulders. Your ego and not your poor education that is letting you down here. Most people will use real life experiences to learn.You have not.

Merry Christmas Scroobal.

Chicken, duck, lack of education, inconsistent, avoid confrontation, show allegiance, cannot be truthful.

What a mouthful. Enjoy your dinner Scroobal. Don't forget Christmas is time of joy and giving.

Bless your heart.

 

[scroobal]

Merry Xmas and Happy New Year to you as well Bro.

Will it not be easier to use one nick and not have 2 to play both sides of the coin. I was told it was quite a vehicle in the old movie days to have the star play both the good and bad roles.

If you want to fight the PAP, bold. Avoiding confrontation will only result in a compliant society. You can see it hear, despite the anonymity, people are want to be popular. I can understand that with those whose identity is known, business and friendship cannot stand in the way of principles. Easier to call it chicken and duck so on can sleep nights.

Bless you as well. And I do meet it. Retiring for this year unless someone has problems with chicken and duck again.

Merry Christmas Scroobal.

Chicken, duck, lack of education, inconsistent, avoid confrontation, show allegiance, cannot be truthful.

What a mouthful. Enjoy your dinner Scroobal. Don't forget Christmas is time of joy and giving.

Bless your heart.

 

[scroobal]

Looks like he still thinks he working for SPH or looking for his time in the sun.

Sideswipe Column #2 - 24th Dec: - Dr Cherian George


There's enough real racism in Singapore – TOC needn't cry wolf

by Cherian George December 22nd, 2011

Reading The Online Citizen’s sensational report on what a PAP MP said about Malay and Indian MRT drivers and then watching the video itself, I wondered how the website’s reporters might have covered Barack Obama’s landmark speech after winning the Democratic Party nomination in 2008.

TOC might have said something like this:

Barack Obama has told Americans that “our sights were set too high” and that “this country was too divided; too disillusioned to ever come together around a common purpose”.

If you think this pessimistic prognosis from a president famous for giving people hope sounds suspect, you're right. Obama did say the words above, but they are taken slightly out of context. He actually said, “They said our sights were set too high. They said this country was too divided; too disillusioned to ever come together around a common purpose.”

Omitting to mention that the speaker you’re quoting is quoting someone else can be a little misleading. That didn’t stop TOC, whose report on a TV forum is headlined, “MP Seng Han Thong: SMRT’s unpreparedness also due to Malay and Indian staffs English language inefficiency”.

TOC’s reporter goes on to say, “He said that because some staffs are “Malay(s), they are Indians, they cannot converse in English good, well enough”.”

In the 13-odd hours since the article went up, more than 200 readers have posted comments, practically all of them outraged by the MP's remarks as reported by TOC.

But what Seng actually said was, “And I notice that the PR mentioned that some of the staff, because they are Malay they are Indian, they cannot converse in English good, well enough, so that also we can learn from. I think we accept broken English.”

Seen in context, Seng was quoting the comment as part of a larger point he was making, that SMRT should have proper SOPs in place, and that in an emergency the drivers’ standard of English is no excuse for silence.

As an MP (and NTUC leader representing workers), Seng can certainly be faulted for not distancing himself explicitly from the view he was citing.

His slip could have been due to political naivety rather than racism. Surely, he should know better. But so should the editors of what, by default, is Singapore’s leading citizen journalism website. There is enough genuine racism in the country; TOC doesn’t help by crying wolf.

TOC did the right thing by highlighting this gaffe. But it would have lost nothing by reporting it accurately. It could have said something like:

PAP MP Seng Han Thong quoted a view, which he attributed to SMRT's PR officer, that Malay and Indian drivers' poor English was to blame for SMRT's poor response to the emergency. He did not contradict this view.

The facts are bad enough. They didn't need to be misrepresented. …

 

[Leongsam]

Another veteran in this space is Ex-Minister Lim Boon Heng who suggested tertiary education qualification come with expiry date.

I am in complete agreement with this suggestion. I was at the time it was made and I still am today.

Would you want to be treated by a doctor who gained his qualifications in the 70s when the medical world still believed that the primary cause of stomach ulcers was stress and had not kept up to date regarding developments on the medical world?

Would you want to be flown across the world by a pilot who had not been certified in the last 5 years?

Would you hire a cobol programmer to develop your website?