Finances are top stumbling block to marriage
by Sophie Hong
THE majority of single Singapore women still hope to get married between the ages of 25 and 30, despite national statistics showing a trend of them putting off marriage.
In a recent straw poll done by my paper of 70 single women aged 35 years old and below, 57 women indicated that they hope to tie the knot eventually.
However, their dreams of attaining marital bliss are obscured by financial woes and finding that elusive Mr Right.
Among the reasons why they remain single, 32 women said that it is because they have yet to find the right partner.
Others who hold white-collar jobs with a monthly income of more than $2,000 stated that they are looking to establish a career first before shifting their focus to their love lives.
"Women are getting more educated, compared to the past. Now, more Singaporean women hold master's or PhD degrees," said Ms Violet Lim, founder of dating agency Lunch Actually.
According to the Census of Population 2010, women make up almost half of university graduates in Singapore.
To top it off, the number of female doctoral-degree students at Nanyang Technological University (NTU) has gradually climbed, from 31 per cent to 35 per cent over the last five years.
NTU has also enrolled more than 4,000 female students in its postgraduate courses in the last academic year.
Meanwhile, 38 per cent of the students who enrolled in a postgraduate programme at Singapore Management University last September are female. Similarly, the National University of Singapore (NUS) saw an 83 per cent increase in its number of female doctoral-degree students, compared to 2005.
The time taken to complete a postgraduate programme can range from one to five years.
Ms Lim said: "When you have spent so much time on your education, you would want to build up a career first before moving on to relationships."
However, there might be factors other than a higher education that have contributed towards women becoming more career-minded as well as an increase in the number of career- minded women.
Said Associate Professor Tan Ern Ser of NUS' Department of Sociology: "Singaporean women also value their independence, which would be compromised if they take on the role of both a wife and a mother."
Women are also delaying marriage due to finances, with 29 women polled saying that their biggest concern is whether they have enough savings. A further 13 women worry about being unable to afford a house.
Among the 70 women polled, 64 earn a monthly income of less than $4,000.
"A house is an investment, and if I'm going to be spending a small fortune on it, I want to make sure that it is in a good location," said 24-year-old operations executive Stephanie Kay.
She added that she may still need financial help from her parents after marriage if she wants "a decent place".
Said Ms Kay: "I would feel comfortable letting my husband be the sole breadwinner only if he earns $20,000 a month."
Ms Lim also commented on what former prime minister Lee Kuan Yew said to a 27-year-old female PhD student during a university dialogue held at NTU on Sept 5.
Mr Lee had advised the unmarried student not to waste time starting a family, as it was "more important and more satisfying than your PhD".
Ms Lim said: "I can tell you, from my experience in the industry, that there is truth to what he said. Time is not on our side."
She added: "It might be a good strategy for men to focus on their careers before their relationships, but that is not the case for women."
Ms Lim stressed that having a career and a love life are not mutually exclusive, and finding a balance between the two is not impossible.
"Be disciplined in setting aside time to go out, relax and socialise," she advised.
Survey of 70 single women aged 35 and below
57 women plan to get married.
Out of these, 44 plan to have kids; 42 plan to tie the knot before they turn 30 years of age; and 26 plan to have children two years after their wedding.
13 women say they do not plan to get married.
They cite reasons such as the cost of living and that Singapore men are boring.
32 women say they are single because they have yet to find the right partner.
Another 20 say they are focusing on their careers while 12 women say they are focusing on their education.
These women are aged between 21 and 30 years old.
Six women cite following reasons why they are single: They are uninterested in dating; they do not have enough time for relationships; and there are not enough eligible men in Singapore.
42 women say they worry about financial matters when it comes to marriage.
Their biggest concerns are whether they have enough savings (29) and whether they have the means to buy a house (13).
35 women say they will consider having children if they are offered better maternity benefits.
These benefits include longer maternity leave, equal chances of promotion when they return to work and a bigger Baby Bonus.
by Sophie Hong
THE majority of single Singapore women still hope to get married between the ages of 25 and 30, despite national statistics showing a trend of them putting off marriage.
In a recent straw poll done by my paper of 70 single women aged 35 years old and below, 57 women indicated that they hope to tie the knot eventually.
However, their dreams of attaining marital bliss are obscured by financial woes and finding that elusive Mr Right.
Among the reasons why they remain single, 32 women said that it is because they have yet to find the right partner.
Others who hold white-collar jobs with a monthly income of more than $2,000 stated that they are looking to establish a career first before shifting their focus to their love lives.
"Women are getting more educated, compared to the past. Now, more Singaporean women hold master's or PhD degrees," said Ms Violet Lim, founder of dating agency Lunch Actually.
According to the Census of Population 2010, women make up almost half of university graduates in Singapore.
To top it off, the number of female doctoral-degree students at Nanyang Technological University (NTU) has gradually climbed, from 31 per cent to 35 per cent over the last five years.
NTU has also enrolled more than 4,000 female students in its postgraduate courses in the last academic year.
Meanwhile, 38 per cent of the students who enrolled in a postgraduate programme at Singapore Management University last September are female. Similarly, the National University of Singapore (NUS) saw an 83 per cent increase in its number of female doctoral-degree students, compared to 2005.
The time taken to complete a postgraduate programme can range from one to five years.
Ms Lim said: "When you have spent so much time on your education, you would want to build up a career first before moving on to relationships."
However, there might be factors other than a higher education that have contributed towards women becoming more career-minded as well as an increase in the number of career- minded women.
Said Associate Professor Tan Ern Ser of NUS' Department of Sociology: "Singaporean women also value their independence, which would be compromised if they take on the role of both a wife and a mother."
Women are also delaying marriage due to finances, with 29 women polled saying that their biggest concern is whether they have enough savings. A further 13 women worry about being unable to afford a house.
Among the 70 women polled, 64 earn a monthly income of less than $4,000.
"A house is an investment, and if I'm going to be spending a small fortune on it, I want to make sure that it is in a good location," said 24-year-old operations executive Stephanie Kay.
She added that she may still need financial help from her parents after marriage if she wants "a decent place".
Said Ms Kay: "I would feel comfortable letting my husband be the sole breadwinner only if he earns $20,000 a month."
Ms Lim also commented on what former prime minister Lee Kuan Yew said to a 27-year-old female PhD student during a university dialogue held at NTU on Sept 5.
Mr Lee had advised the unmarried student not to waste time starting a family, as it was "more important and more satisfying than your PhD".
Ms Lim said: "I can tell you, from my experience in the industry, that there is truth to what he said. Time is not on our side."
She added: "It might be a good strategy for men to focus on their careers before their relationships, but that is not the case for women."
Ms Lim stressed that having a career and a love life are not mutually exclusive, and finding a balance between the two is not impossible.
"Be disciplined in setting aside time to go out, relax and socialise," she advised.
Survey of 70 single women aged 35 and below
57 women plan to get married.
Out of these, 44 plan to have kids; 42 plan to tie the knot before they turn 30 years of age; and 26 plan to have children two years after their wedding.
13 women say they do not plan to get married.
They cite reasons such as the cost of living and that Singapore men are boring.
32 women say they are single because they have yet to find the right partner.
Another 20 say they are focusing on their careers while 12 women say they are focusing on their education.
These women are aged between 21 and 30 years old.
Six women cite following reasons why they are single: They are uninterested in dating; they do not have enough time for relationships; and there are not enough eligible men in Singapore.
42 women say they worry about financial matters when it comes to marriage.
Their biggest concerns are whether they have enough savings (29) and whether they have the means to buy a house (13).
35 women say they will consider having children if they are offered better maternity benefits.
These benefits include longer maternity leave, equal chances of promotion when they return to work and a bigger Baby Bonus.
