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Woman feels sexually harassed by Caucasian boss making 'weird comments' and eyeing her
www.stomp.sg
Ivan Lim
TNP
Sept 11, 2025
A woman working in a multi-national company who posted on Reddit that she feels sexually harassed by her Caucasian boss has been offered plenty of advice - some of it actually useful.
Redditor hehehhihi, 26, said it started when the big boss of the company abruptly mentioned something that made her uncomfortable - while he was ticking her off.
"That day, my big boss was scolding me halfway when he stopped mid-sentence, mid-scolding, to point out that I have a tanline on my shoulder," she said.
This was followed by "weird comments".
She cites an instance when, during a call with Thai stakeholders, the boss texted, "How's your Thai?" He even greeted her with "Sawadeeka" after the call - even though he knows she isn't Thai.
In a third instance, the boss pointed out at a meeting that she was wearing a jacket when everyone else in the room was also wearing one, too. A male colleague later told her the boss had been eyeing her during the entire meeting, even moving to another spot, possibly for a better view.
She admits the instances may not seem very sexually charged. But she added that her colleagues have also noticed there is something off and are worried for her, and that the attention has made her uncomfortable.
She has also stopped wearing sleeveless tops at work, even though her office does not have a strict dress code.
"Record and report to HR. With the record of evidence signed by your colleagues who were witnesses," said one.
"I'm assuming this is a proper MNC with a proper HR department," said another. "Can you talk to HR and list down all the incidents that have been happening? Make sure you are objective and share dates and time. Also make sure you have written statements from colleagues to back you up."
"Remember, HR reports to the CEO. They protect the business. Without solid evidence, they won't do anything. Don't be naive. Unless you have solid evidence, don't even bother. Move to another workplace is better," said one.
"HR is not your friend. If he's more valuable to the company then you will be seen as the problem worker and fired. Record as much as you can and try and pass it directly to the super seniors (c level)."
"Nothing to report really. Pointing out someone's tan line, asking about thai aren't really something HR can take action about," said one.
"I'm not seeing the 'sexual harassment' here. Your boss is at worst being annoying. You're reading way too much into this. And not sure what him being angmo has to do with your story and why you had to tell us that detail," said an unsympathetic commenter.
Another advised her to wait for more evidence: "Don't listen to those comments saying, complain to HR. Like you said, these comments are not obvious that is it sexual harassment…just suck it up for now until the harassment gets more obvious or worse so you have ammunition."
Others offered very specific measures.
"Ring AWARE's helpline. They can guide you through your options," said one.
While agreeing her case was weak, another advised: "The 3 incidents are pretty far away from sexual harassment. I do believe that something is going on because your colleagues are catching the vibe too, but your boss has restrained himself pretty well," said the Redditor.
"However, if he does comment on your body or attire again, you should say, 'you're making me uncomfortable'. The key to having a case for harassment is that the culprit has to know that his speech/actions are unwelcome. Otherwise when HR has an intervention, the culprit will just say that he was just being friendly or joking around, and he had no idea that you took it differently."
www.stomp.sg
TNP
Sept 11, 2025
A woman working in a multi-national company who posted on Reddit that she feels sexually harassed by her Caucasian boss has been offered plenty of advice - some of it actually useful.
Redditor hehehhihi, 26, said it started when the big boss of the company abruptly mentioned something that made her uncomfortable - while he was ticking her off.
"That day, my big boss was scolding me halfway when he stopped mid-sentence, mid-scolding, to point out that I have a tanline on my shoulder," she said.
This was followed by "weird comments".
She cites an instance when, during a call with Thai stakeholders, the boss texted, "How's your Thai?" He even greeted her with "Sawadeeka" after the call - even though he knows she isn't Thai.
In a third instance, the boss pointed out at a meeting that she was wearing a jacket when everyone else in the room was also wearing one, too. A male colleague later told her the boss had been eyeing her during the entire meeting, even moving to another spot, possibly for a better view.
She admits the instances may not seem very sexually charged. But she added that her colleagues have also noticed there is something off and are worried for her, and that the attention has made her uncomfortable.
She has also stopped wearing sleeveless tops at work, even though her office does not have a strict dress code.
Report to HR
A good number of commenters told her to report the matter to the company's human resources department."Record and report to HR. With the record of evidence signed by your colleagues who were witnesses," said one.
"I'm assuming this is a proper MNC with a proper HR department," said another. "Can you talk to HR and list down all the incidents that have been happening? Make sure you are objective and share dates and time. Also make sure you have written statements from colleagues to back you up."
HR is not your friend
Others felt HR would likely back the big boss and advised her to consider leaving the company."Remember, HR reports to the CEO. They protect the business. Without solid evidence, they won't do anything. Don't be naive. Unless you have solid evidence, don't even bother. Move to another workplace is better," said one.
"HR is not your friend. If he's more valuable to the company then you will be seen as the problem worker and fired. Record as much as you can and try and pass it directly to the super seniors (c level)."
Nothing to report, you're overreacting
Some felt it was much ado over nothing."Nothing to report really. Pointing out someone's tan line, asking about thai aren't really something HR can take action about," said one.
"I'm not seeing the 'sexual harassment' here. Your boss is at worst being annoying. You're reading way too much into this. And not sure what him being angmo has to do with your story and why you had to tell us that detail," said an unsympathetic commenter.
Another advised her to wait for more evidence: "Don't listen to those comments saying, complain to HR. Like you said, these comments are not obvious that is it sexual harassment…just suck it up for now until the harassment gets more obvious or worse so you have ammunition."
Others offered very specific measures.
"Ring AWARE's helpline. They can guide you through your options," said one.
While agreeing her case was weak, another advised: "The 3 incidents are pretty far away from sexual harassment. I do believe that something is going on because your colleagues are catching the vibe too, but your boss has restrained himself pretty well," said the Redditor.
"However, if he does comment on your body or attire again, you should say, 'you're making me uncomfortable'. The key to having a case for harassment is that the culprit has to know that his speech/actions are unwelcome. Otherwise when HR has an intervention, the culprit will just say that he was just being friendly or joking around, and he had no idea that you took it differently."
