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Top colorectal surgeon will see us over faecal cliff: PM Lee
SINGAPORE: A by-election will be held for Punggol East Single Member Constituency (SMC). President Tony Tan Keng Yam issued a writ of election today setting Nomination Day for next Wednesday. Polling day would be on January 26.
The single seat SMC has been vacant since Member of Parliament Michael Palmer resigned for crossing the age boundary in his party mandate as “auntie-killer”.
Mr Palmer had “killed” a People’s Association sweet young thing instead.
The surprise announcement came after Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong said he was still mulling over whether to call a by-election. Insiders revealed that the government was actually searching desperately for the President, who had gone missing.
The head of state was last seen queuing for paddler Lee Jiawei’s autograph at the London Olympics last August while serving as Chief Cheerleader for the China table-tennis B team. There was relief all around government quarters when he showed up today, a little red-faced with the writ in one hand and a table-tennis bat in the other.
Apparently, the President has just returned from China. “[The bat] is a farewell gift from Jiawei. Personally signed, of course,” said the misty-eyed President, even as nobody asked.
PM Lee said after the resignation of Mr Palmer that his first priority was to find a candidate who is less good-looking and charismatic.
“The uglier, the better,” said PM Lee. “No more extra-marital affairs, okay? I need a candidate who is totally charmless and a complete turn-off to scare away our PA ladies.”
“Someone like Teo Chee Hean,” said PM Lee, thoughtfully, before adding with a giggle: “Or even better, Mah Bow Tan and Wong Kan Seng!”
- http://www.voiddecker.com/2013/01/top-colorectal-surgeon-will-see-us-over-faecal-cliff-pm-lee/
SINGAPORE: A by-election will be held for Punggol East Single Member Constituency (SMC). President Tony Tan Keng Yam issued a writ of election today setting Nomination Day for next Wednesday. Polling day would be on January 26.
The single seat SMC has been vacant since Member of Parliament Michael Palmer resigned for crossing the age boundary in his party mandate as “auntie-killer”.
Mr Palmer had “killed” a People’s Association sweet young thing instead.
The surprise announcement came after Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong said he was still mulling over whether to call a by-election. Insiders revealed that the government was actually searching desperately for the President, who had gone missing.
The head of state was last seen queuing for paddler Lee Jiawei’s autograph at the London Olympics last August while serving as Chief Cheerleader for the China table-tennis B team. There was relief all around government quarters when he showed up today, a little red-faced with the writ in one hand and a table-tennis bat in the other.
Apparently, the President has just returned from China. “[The bat] is a farewell gift from Jiawei. Personally signed, of course,” said the misty-eyed President, even as nobody asked.
PM Lee said after the resignation of Mr Palmer that his first priority was to find a candidate who is less good-looking and charismatic.
“The uglier, the better,” said PM Lee. “No more extra-marital affairs, okay? I need a candidate who is totally charmless and a complete turn-off to scare away our PA ladies.”
“Someone like Teo Chee Hean,” said PM Lee, thoughtfully, before adding with a giggle: “Or even better, Mah Bow Tan and Wong Kan Seng!”
- http://www.voiddecker.com/2013/01/top-colorectal-surgeon-will-see-us-over-faecal-cliff-pm-lee/
