The facts of life

A Singaporean

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*THE WORDS MAY SOUND NAUGHTY BUT THEY ARE FACTS.......*


_*CLOTHES*_

*We all love to spend lots of money buying new clothes, but we never realise that the best moments in life are enjoyed without clothes......!*

_*PRICELESS*_

*Having a cold drink on a hot day with few friends is nice, but having a hot woman friend in bed on a cold night after a few drinks is PRICELESS......!*

_*BREAKING NEWS*_

*Condoms don't guarantee safe sex anymore! A friend of mine was wearing one when he was shot dead by the woman's husband......*

_*SIZE ACTUALLY DOES NOT MATTER*_

*Arguing over a woman’s breast size is like choosing between Papaya and Water Melon or Orange and Apple. Men may state their preferences, but will grab whatever is available......!*

_*THE CAUSE OF COMMITTING SUICIDE*_

*Isaac Newton committed suicide because he saw a completely naked woman and observed that something going up in his pant which was against his own Laws Of Gravity......!*

_*SILENT SEX*_

*Why are vegetarian women silent during sex? Because they are in a state of shock that a piece of meat can give so much pleasure......!*

_*LOCATION OF BREASTS*_

*Why are breasts located in the upper half of a woman's body? It because milk should be kept away from the pussy.*

*_DEFINITION OF BLOWJOB*_

*A blowjob is the only job in the world that cannot be included in your resume despite years of experience and a number of references......*

*_BALLS THEORY*_

*If you have two balls between your legs it means you are a man. If you have four, it does not mean that you are a superman. You must have guessed by now that someone's taking your ass.*

*_EXPLANATION*_

*Bio teacher: _Girls, the size of a penis should be at least 2.5 inches for successful penetration.*_

*Girl: _Madam, how about 9 inches?_*

*Bio Teacher: _I am talking of necessity not luxury.*_

*VIAGRA*

*All medicines have Side effects, only VIAGRA has Front effect.*

*_BURNING LOVE*_

*Q: _What is the definition of "burning love"?*_

*A: _It is when at night you reach out for the Vaseline gel and pick up Vicks by mistake.*_
 
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