Love, Mum: After 13 years of taking any job to provide for her daughter, single mum finally pursues her dream career
Ms Roslindah Aziz, a 40-year-old single mother who recently got help to pursue her dream career.
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This Mother's Day, TODAY speaks to three mothers each facing their own unique challenges when it comes to parenthood. From a mother of autistic twin boys to a single mother who put her dreams on hold, we look at the resilience and love of these mothers who choose to put their children first.
BY
NIKKI YEO
Published May 12, 2024Updated May 12, 2024
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SINGAPORE — When she was a child, Ms Roslindah Aziz would spend her days playing pretend, imagining she was a young teacher reciting the alphabet to her students.
She would lovingly "cook" meals too for her young charges and hand out homework sheets, reminding each of them to finish them on time.
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Her childhood dreams of being an educator however were put on hold when she went through a divorce at 25.
With little help from her ex-husband, her career and dreams took a backseat as she focused her energies on placing food on the table for her then three-year old daughter.
Over the last 15 years, the 40-year-old has gone through a myriad of jobs such as being a receptionist and a hair stylist, taking whatever came her way so that she could provide for her daughter in their one-room rental flat in Circuit Road.
Decades after she first thought of being an educator, she got her big break two years ago to fulfill that dream.
She now cares for a class of close to 30 primary school pupils from 11am to 7pm on weekdays as a student care provider in Big Heart Student Care Centre in Serangoon.
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“I love kids, but I never thought I could be a (student care teacher). To me, I thought maybe that job needs a really higher education, like a university certificate,” said Ms Roslindah, whose highest qualification is an N-Levels certificate.
In 2022, her social worker referred her to Daughters of Tomorrow, a local charity that helps underprivileged women become financially independent and works mainly with individuals who reside in Government-subsidised rental flats.
Ms Roslindah graduated from the charity's eight week Confidence Curriculum course where she received career coaching sessions and was recommended to her current employer, which is one of the charity's partners.
The courses are designed to help women get back into the workforce and gain practical skills such as what to say during an interview. There are also workshops where mothers learn from other mothers on how they coped with their financial and family difficulties.
A team at the charity then helps to provide these women referrals for stable employment.
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THE STRUGGLES OF DOING IT ALONE
When she got married at 21, Ms Roslindah became a full-time homemaker after leaving her job as a receptionist.Her then husband took care of the bills and she was "pampered" by him, as he made arrangements for housing and daily expenses for her and her daughter.
“I was young at that period of time, when the divorce happened, and I didn’t have the mindset of being afraid of life and didn’t think about what I would have to do to support my family,” said Ms Roslindah, who also supports her parents who are in their 70s.
When her divorce was finalised and her ex-husband also stopped providing maintenance after three months, the realisation that she would now have to do everything alone hit her hard.
"It was most challenging to raise a child, because you're alone and this is your first experience, without for example a helper or parents' help. Money wise, managing finances was also hard, especially the starting two or three years," said Ms Roslindah.
Returning to work was also difficult, as her daughter struggled with being separated from her.
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“It’s very hard for me to go out to work. Each time I wanted to go out, she would cry... When we needed to be separated, I really couldn’t focus on work at the start,” said Ms Roslindah, who declined to be photographed for this article.
While her mother initially helped to take care of her daughter while she was working, she eventually sought out childcare options once her daughter was around four years old as her mother had health problems.
Financial issues aside, Ms Roslindah was also unprepared for the negative comments she received as a single mum.
People she knew and considered friends would say things like “I don’t think you can make it as a single parent” and “you will only be trouble to your parents, family, friends”.
She has since learnt to brush off such comments.
“I know a lot of negativity will be out there. I want to think positive, because it’s my life, no one is going to stop you or feed you and you have to stand up for yourself,” said Ms Roslindah.
“Challenges are always there, it’s just that you need to have a brave face and do not ever give up.”
STARTING FROM ZERO
When she started her job at the student care centre, Ms Roslindah said she was not confident about her abilities and second guessed herself since she had no experience in the sector.But she soon decided to bring her experience as a mother and the lessons she has learnt over the years as a parent into the classroom.
Her hard work has been rewarded with the “Extra Mile” award from her employer, which she obtained last year for her good attendance and the way she has interacted with the students in her care.
While she was aware of the odds being stacked against her to enter this field, Ms Roslindah said she never gave up on the dream and was just waiting patiently for the right opportunity.
“At last, I’ve achieved the goal. Even without a (higher education) certificate, I’ve achieved it. I didn’t think it was possible. It’s tiring, but I enjoy it,” she said.
She now hopes to upgrade her skills and take courses so that she will one day be able to look after younger children in a childcare setting.
Her other goal is to puchase a three-room flat so that her daughter, who recently graduated from Institute of Technical Education with a higher Nitec certificate in Passenger Services, can have a room of her own.
Her daughter, Nish, she said, wants to become a Singapore Airlines stewardess or further her education at a polytechnic.
"She told me ‘Mommy, you don’t have to work, let me stabilise work for one year and then I’ll support you and make you have a comfortable life’,” Ms Roslindah said with a laugh.
Her 20-year-old daughter said she was filled with joy to see her mother pursue her passion and make a positive impact on other children’s lives — the same way she did in her own life.
When asked what she wanted to say to her mother, Nish said: “I want to express my deepest gratitude to my mom for her unconditional love, endless support, and tireless sacrifices.
"Thank you for being my rock and my inspiration."
