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Coffeeshop Chit Chat - ATTN : Madmansg</TD><TD id=msgunetc noWrap align=right> </TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE><TABLE class=msgtable cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=0 width="96%"><TBODY><TR><TD class=msg vAlign=top><TABLE border=0 cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=0 width="100%"><TBODY><TR class=msghead><TD class=msgbfr1 width="1%"> </TD><TD><TABLE border=0 cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=0><TBODY><TR class=msghead vAlign=top><TD class=msgF width="1%" noWrap align=right>From: </TD><TD class=msgFname width="68%" noWrap>alochong <NOBR></NOBR> </TD><TD class=msgDate width="30%" noWrap align=right>3:55 am </TD></TR><TR class=msghead><TD class=msgT height=20 width="1%" noWrap align=right>To: </TD><TD class=msgTname width="68%" noWrap>ALL <NOBR></NOBR></TD><TD class=msgNum noWrap align=right> (1 of 7) </TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE></TD></TR><TR><TD class=msgleft rowSpan=4 width="1%"> </TD><TD class=wintiny noWrap align=right>44545.1 </TD></TR><TR><TD height=8></TD></TR><TR><TD class=msgtxt>http://sgforums.com/forums/1390/topics/422799
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Addict taintedlove
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4 posts since Jun '10
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14 Feb `11, 5:01PM
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Hello everyone, I have lots of things to say/ask.
I hope someone had post something smiliar before. I don't wanna get charge. I'm really scare.
I don't know what to say but hope I can make myself clearer to you guys.
I'm now PES C9 L9 storeman trainee, I use to be a very happy person who can makes around well and do jokes a lot and welcome challenges . I had lots of interest in Fashion Design, I can cope very well when working outside and my bosses likes me a lot. I used to be in Cross Country and can run well but after I went to CMPB for checkup and that's when I know I had Beta Thalassemia, a kind of blood disorder. I was given PES C9 L2. Every friend of mine thinks well of me and thinks that I will be very garang in NS life.
The first day I got enlisted to Tekong and got into a C9 company. I was different from what I imagined was. Instead I was very stress and depressed. So different that I am so vex / stress till I cried and felt suicidal everyday single day. I can't adapt to the enviroment, I don't even know what's stressing me so much. After around the 3 bookout all my friends and girlfriend find that I had changed. They told me you wasn't acting like you use to be a happy and cheerful person. A person that everyone's likes to being with and followed.
I love drawings and imagine a cloth that it will look awesome when it attached to someone. I took out all of my drawing material and found out that I can't think or imagine anymore. I flare up and throw all my drawings and port folio away and that's when I felt useless and worthless. Till 1 day my gf wanted me to become her Fashion Adviser and change her style. I didn't do anything on that day and was just saying everything is OK. She then told me she notice I had changed and she told me " You are useless now, I don't know what you are thinking anymore. "
I went through a 7 weeks BMT and that's when I start to be paranoid. I became anti social, Everyday I come to camp, all I do is just sit at 1 corner and smoke and smoke and wait for 5.30pm to bookout. I will go to poly clinic to take MC and it's like almost every week. After some times the Doctor doesn't wants to give me MC anymore, Thats when I start to do stuff like trying to break my leg. I've done it and I don't have enough strength to break it. I posted on facebook and etc ....... that I will pay 500 bucks if someone help to break my leg. Lots of reply but none wanted to help me. I approached my friend and they didnt want to help too.
I know I'm useless and everyone said it's just 2 years just endure with it. No one understand me. I didnt mention that I was at first a Driver Trainne. It's until when I went for the driving course and it requires to stay in. I just can't stay in and that makes me even more worse till one of my friend that I went to driving course with drag me to see the MO. My friend who I know him for about 2 weeks told me that I must be suffering from depression.So I went in and I don't know what to tell the MO and ended just saying i'm stress and I got refer to the SAF MMI. And that's how I got OOC.
I was scare to tell psychiatrist what I wanted to say. I don't trust them instead I just told them I'm stress and my family issue. The psychiatrist told me I was suffering from depression and got down PES to C9 L9. They gave me Lexapro and a kind of sleeping pill to eat. I don't know whether should I trust them? Should I tell them everything? My psychiatrist seems to be very scary person or I'm just paranoid?
It's around 4 - 5 months ago, I would go back home and starting screaming and throwing things. If someone is at home I would go down to the nearby park and start screaming. It's until when my gf and I started to quarrel and I heard someone telling me that I must cut her. I couldn't control myself that I kick her in the stomach and she vomit a small pool of blood. My Mom and Sis saw it and they stopped me.
I always felt sucidal until last month I heard that someone tells me that it's stupid. Now I don't know why I always feel or wants someone to die with me. This 2 months I got into fight outside for 2 times. I don't like the way they look at me. They must be up to something. I got warded for 2 days because I said I wanted to kill someone.
I'm tired, I will stop here.
Can I have some comments what should I do? And The psychiatrist always ask me what can they help me. I really don't know whether should I told them all this? I have so much to say but I can't say it out and I guess they can't help me.
TS's note : I have wanted to advise him, but don't know how to. sianz...
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Addict taintedlove
Addict taintedlove's Avatar
4 posts since Jun '10
Cog
* Email Send Message
*
14 Feb `11, 5:01PM
Cog
o Page_white_edit Reply/Quote spinner
Hello everyone, I have lots of things to say/ask.
I hope someone had post something smiliar before. I don't wanna get charge. I'm really scare.
I don't know what to say but hope I can make myself clearer to you guys.
I'm now PES C9 L9 storeman trainee, I use to be a very happy person who can makes around well and do jokes a lot and welcome challenges . I had lots of interest in Fashion Design, I can cope very well when working outside and my bosses likes me a lot. I used to be in Cross Country and can run well but after I went to CMPB for checkup and that's when I know I had Beta Thalassemia, a kind of blood disorder. I was given PES C9 L2. Every friend of mine thinks well of me and thinks that I will be very garang in NS life.
The first day I got enlisted to Tekong and got into a C9 company. I was different from what I imagined was. Instead I was very stress and depressed. So different that I am so vex / stress till I cried and felt suicidal everyday single day. I can't adapt to the enviroment, I don't even know what's stressing me so much. After around the 3 bookout all my friends and girlfriend find that I had changed. They told me you wasn't acting like you use to be a happy and cheerful person. A person that everyone's likes to being with and followed.
I love drawings and imagine a cloth that it will look awesome when it attached to someone. I took out all of my drawing material and found out that I can't think or imagine anymore. I flare up and throw all my drawings and port folio away and that's when I felt useless and worthless. Till 1 day my gf wanted me to become her Fashion Adviser and change her style. I didn't do anything on that day and was just saying everything is OK. She then told me she notice I had changed and she told me " You are useless now, I don't know what you are thinking anymore. "
I went through a 7 weeks BMT and that's when I start to be paranoid. I became anti social, Everyday I come to camp, all I do is just sit at 1 corner and smoke and smoke and wait for 5.30pm to bookout. I will go to poly clinic to take MC and it's like almost every week. After some times the Doctor doesn't wants to give me MC anymore, Thats when I start to do stuff like trying to break my leg. I've done it and I don't have enough strength to break it. I posted on facebook and etc ....... that I will pay 500 bucks if someone help to break my leg. Lots of reply but none wanted to help me. I approached my friend and they didnt want to help too.
I know I'm useless and everyone said it's just 2 years just endure with it. No one understand me. I didnt mention that I was at first a Driver Trainne. It's until when I went for the driving course and it requires to stay in. I just can't stay in and that makes me even more worse till one of my friend that I went to driving course with drag me to see the MO. My friend who I know him for about 2 weeks told me that I must be suffering from depression.So I went in and I don't know what to tell the MO and ended just saying i'm stress and I got refer to the SAF MMI. And that's how I got OOC.
I was scare to tell psychiatrist what I wanted to say. I don't trust them instead I just told them I'm stress and my family issue. The psychiatrist told me I was suffering from depression and got down PES to C9 L9. They gave me Lexapro and a kind of sleeping pill to eat. I don't know whether should I trust them? Should I tell them everything? My psychiatrist seems to be very scary person or I'm just paranoid?
It's around 4 - 5 months ago, I would go back home and starting screaming and throwing things. If someone is at home I would go down to the nearby park and start screaming. It's until when my gf and I started to quarrel and I heard someone telling me that I must cut her. I couldn't control myself that I kick her in the stomach and she vomit a small pool of blood. My Mom and Sis saw it and they stopped me.
I always felt sucidal until last month I heard that someone tells me that it's stupid. Now I don't know why I always feel or wants someone to die with me. This 2 months I got into fight outside for 2 times. I don't like the way they look at me. They must be up to something. I got warded for 2 days because I said I wanted to kill someone.
I'm tired, I will stop here.
Can I have some comments what should I do? And The psychiatrist always ask me what can they help me. I really don't know whether should I told them all this? I have so much to say but I can't say it out and I guess they can't help me.
TS's note : I have wanted to advise him, but don't know how to. sianz...
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