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WHEN she ran away from a girls' home in April three years ago, 14-year-old Mary (not her real name) knew little of the endless worry that her mother would have to endure.
A Family Court judge had sent Mary to the home for two years in September 2006, after she failed to turn up at a hearing called because her mother had filed a Beyond Parental Control order against her.
Madam Loh (also not her real name), 53, explained to my paper that her daughter had mixed with bad company, was lying to teachers constantly and sneaking out of the house at night.
Barely six months into her stay, Mary fled from her mother's car while on the way back to the girls' home after the usual weekly home leave. She had planned her escape carefully, taking her mother's credit card, some cash and her older sister's passport.
Madam Loh said she gave chase but was unable to catch up. She called her husband and younger daughter for help, and they searched the areas nearby, to no avail.
Mary was found two months later after the girls' home lodged a missing-persons report with police. Now, she is residing in an institution in the western part of Singapore, but her mother has not stopped worrying.
"I'm afraid that she may go down the wrong path. It's a never- ending headache," said Madam Loh, who has two other daughters.
According to police statistics, an average of 3,000 people were reported missing every year from 2005 to last year. At least 73 per cent of them were traced.
my paper understands that most teenagers reported missing are runaways.
Dr Carol Balhetchet, director of youth services at the Singapore Children's Society, said: "From my records, many parents who tell us that their child has run away from home are the ones who make missing-persons reports with the police."
Mr Joseph Tan, who runs Crime Library, a volunteer group which helps find missing people, also said that most missing- persons cases reported on his website are runaway youth.
"Teenagers are rebellious because they are close to entering adulthood and they don't like parents telling them what to do," he said.
"Parents should spend more time to understand their kids better. Children should also understand that it is emotionally distressing for their parents when they run away."
The reasons for teenagers to run away are widely varied, although psychologists say that family and friends are linked to some of the main reasons.
Psychiatrist Adrian Wang said: "This happens more commonly in dysfunctional families where conflict is high and parenting skills are poor."
He added that those in their early teens are usually more impressionable.
They can be easily influenced by older peers, or their boyfriends or girlfriends, to leave home and move in with them.
However, there is a more worrying trend. Dr Balhetchet noticed that children who are running away from home in recent years can be as young as seven.
"For the younger ones, their perception of freedom is different from adults'," said Dr Balhetchet.
"They consider it as going on an exciting adventure, with no one telling them what to do, especially if they run away with another friend."
To address this, children's homes which deal with runaways will help them understand that it is not practical to break away from their families at such a young age.
Said Ms Gwen Koh, the manager of YouthReach, a joint project by Catholic Welfare Services and Boys' Town: "Most, if not all, eventually realise that they cannot survive on their own."
Other solutions include engaging a third party to intervene.
Said Dr Wang: "The runaways are usually unhappy at home. In these cases, a mediator, such as a counsellor, a teacher or a close relative, is needed to help them come up with a working solution."
As for Madam Loh, she hopes that her daughter will learn from her mistakes.
She said: "I don't expect her to take care of me when I'm old. I just want her to find her own path in life."
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A Family Court judge had sent Mary to the home for two years in September 2006, after she failed to turn up at a hearing called because her mother had filed a Beyond Parental Control order against her.
Madam Loh (also not her real name), 53, explained to my paper that her daughter had mixed with bad company, was lying to teachers constantly and sneaking out of the house at night.
Barely six months into her stay, Mary fled from her mother's car while on the way back to the girls' home after the usual weekly home leave. She had planned her escape carefully, taking her mother's credit card, some cash and her older sister's passport.
Madam Loh said she gave chase but was unable to catch up. She called her husband and younger daughter for help, and they searched the areas nearby, to no avail.
Mary was found two months later after the girls' home lodged a missing-persons report with police. Now, she is residing in an institution in the western part of Singapore, but her mother has not stopped worrying.
"I'm afraid that she may go down the wrong path. It's a never- ending headache," said Madam Loh, who has two other daughters.
According to police statistics, an average of 3,000 people were reported missing every year from 2005 to last year. At least 73 per cent of them were traced.
my paper understands that most teenagers reported missing are runaways.
Dr Carol Balhetchet, director of youth services at the Singapore Children's Society, said: "From my records, many parents who tell us that their child has run away from home are the ones who make missing-persons reports with the police."
Mr Joseph Tan, who runs Crime Library, a volunteer group which helps find missing people, also said that most missing- persons cases reported on his website are runaway youth.
"Teenagers are rebellious because they are close to entering adulthood and they don't like parents telling them what to do," he said.
"Parents should spend more time to understand their kids better. Children should also understand that it is emotionally distressing for their parents when they run away."
The reasons for teenagers to run away are widely varied, although psychologists say that family and friends are linked to some of the main reasons.
Psychiatrist Adrian Wang said: "This happens more commonly in dysfunctional families where conflict is high and parenting skills are poor."
He added that those in their early teens are usually more impressionable.
They can be easily influenced by older peers, or their boyfriends or girlfriends, to leave home and move in with them.
However, there is a more worrying trend. Dr Balhetchet noticed that children who are running away from home in recent years can be as young as seven.
"For the younger ones, their perception of freedom is different from adults'," said Dr Balhetchet.
"They consider it as going on an exciting adventure, with no one telling them what to do, especially if they run away with another friend."
To address this, children's homes which deal with runaways will help them understand that it is not practical to break away from their families at such a young age.
Said Ms Gwen Koh, the manager of YouthReach, a joint project by Catholic Welfare Services and Boys' Town: "Most, if not all, eventually realise that they cannot survive on their own."
Other solutions include engaging a third party to intervene.
Said Dr Wang: "The runaways are usually unhappy at home. In these cases, a mediator, such as a counsellor, a teacher or a close relative, is needed to help them come up with a working solution."
As for Madam Loh, she hopes that her daughter will learn from her mistakes.
She said: "I don't expect her to take care of me when I'm old. I just want her to find her own path in life."
[email protected]
