learn a word a day

erection2015

Alfrescian (InfP) + C
Joined
May 20, 2011
Messages
13,972
Points
113
Necrophilia....making love to a dead person


A man was brought before the judge and charged with NECROPHILIA
The judge told him, "In 20 years on the bench, I've never heard such a
disgusting, immoral thing. Just give me one good reason why I shouldn't
lock you up and throw away the jail keys in the toilet?"

The man replied, "I'll give you THREE good reasons:

1. It's none of your damn business;
2. She was my wife; and.....
3. I didn't KNOW she was dead, she ALWAYS acted that way!"
 
I saw this one on a show made by Mr Bean's actor..

One day a lady came for confession it went like this:

Lady - Forgive me, Father.. for I have sinned.
Priest - The Lord forgives all who repent, my child. Now tell me, what sin have you committed?
Lady - I performed FELLATIO on a man.. but he's not my husband...
Priest - err.. my child, forgive me.. but..
Lady - Yes, yes Father.. I know it's wrong.. but it was so long since...
Priest - Child.. I'm sorry for interupting.. but.. what is.. FELLATIO?
Lady - ... you don't know what it is, Father?
Priest - No, my child. I'm afraid I don't...
Lady - .. all right.. let me go over to your side and I'll SHOW YOU.

After that day, whenever a lady came to confess to the same priest about performing FELLATIO.. his response was

"What is FELLATIO?"

PS - sorry bro. din mean to hijack ur thread.. but i loved this joke.. wakaka
 
ah no probs bro....i dont consider my threads hijacked ....rather they take on their on life as they move......mine however usually drops dead after about 3 posts :(
 
sounds like when i was in school...stupid english teacher say must have 5 new words in front shirt pocket everyday...so lan lan every day do lor cos he will spot check and then read to class during english lesson...

one day, no time liao cos wake up late.. so took my uncle playboy magazine and just copy a few words like clitoris, cunt, bondage, etc..

wah lao, sway sway that day i kena spotcheck!

teacher took the paer from my pocket and then stared at me! Then say, after lesson come see me in office instead of reading to class...hahahaha....kena f terok terok ...
 
sounds like when i was in school...stupid english teacher say must have 5 new words in front shirt pocket everyday...so lan lan every day do lor cos he will spot check and then read to class during english lesson...

one day, no time liao cos wake up late.. so took my uncle playboy magazine and just copy a few words like clitoris, cunt, bondage, etc..

wah lao, sway sway that day i kena spotcheck!

teacher took the paer from my pocket and then stared at me! Then say, after lesson come see me in office instead of reading to class...hahahaha....kena f terok terok ...

It is a classic if you are reciting a true story!
 
Ok bro, I continue ah...

One day a Farmer came to the govt clinic and was very anxious
when the female nurse attended to him, he told the nurse what he needed.. and the nurse slapped him and walked off.. her face fully red.

Feeling confused, the farmer approached another nurse and he got slapped twice by the other female nurse.

Feeling even more confused, the farmer sat down and looked around, but no other female nurses would attend to him.
Sitting next to him was a male patient, and he wondered what the farmer had told the female nurses to get them to respond that way. So he asked the farmer -

Man - Hey, what did you tell those nurses to get such a response?
Farmer - I don't know..?! My wife was feeling pretty down the past few weeks until she came here. And after seeing a doctor, she was smiling and cheerful all day.. I asked her what happened, and she said the doctor performed some procedure on her and she felt very much better. So, I thought I could come here to cheer meself up too..
Man - Oh? What did the doctor perform on your wife?
Farmer - Don't know.. she said it was CUNNILINGUS.. but she said it was only possible with women.. I thought, bugger.. maybe there was a woman who could cunnilingus me, right?
 
below are taken from

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/fellatio

The website even has sound files to help you pronounce it.

fel·la·ti·o - [fuh-ley-shee-oh, -lah-tee-oh, fe-] Show IPA
noun
oral stimulation of the penis, especially to orgasm.

cun·ni·lin·gus -  [kuhn-l-ing-guhs] Show IPA
noun
the act or practice of orally stimulating the female genitals.
 
Back
Top