Female Redditer: Dating a divorcee with a child

[Insouciant]

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Dating a divorcee with a child​

I need advice!

For context: 33F, 42M divorced with a young child. Ex-wife is still living in the same residence, but I’m not clear on the exact arrangement or how long that’s for.

He’s quite different from my usual type, in terms of looks, personality and age range but I’ve been enjoying our conversations and find him intellectually attractive. I’m also open to exploring something different this time. He was upfront about his situation from the get-go, which I saw as a green flag.

A few things on my mind:

• I don’t have children and don’t intend to have any, so I don’t have experience or interest in childcare. That said, I know not all single parents expect that from a partner.
• Communication has been consistent and straightforward, no mind games. But things are moving slower than what I’m used to, which makes me wonder if he’s just busy, being cautious, or not fully ready.
• It’s still early (3 dates), so I’m not sure what’s reasonable to clarify at this stage.
• Part of why I’m considering this seriously is because it’s not easy to find someone to genuinely click with, especially at this age. That said, I’m also mindful that this isn’t a reason to overlook potential incompatibilities.

Would really appreciate hearing from anyone who’s been in a similar situation, either dating or as the divorced parent:

• What should be I be mindful of early on?
• Are there any red flags or green flags I should look out for?
• How important is it to understand the living arrangement with the ex at this stage?
• When is it appropriate to have conversations about boundaries, expectations, or involvement with the child/his ex?
• What would you look for or expect from your potential partner, as a divorcee with a child?
• Any advice in general

Also open to general views on whether this is a situation worth exploring, or if it tends to be more complex than it’s worth. I’m aware that if it’s not the right fit, it’s probably easier to step away earlier rather than later.

Thank you in advance!

/edit: grammar. Also, not a bot!

 

[WangChuk]

divorced and still living together??? wow .... she join in become 3P for him ah??