Serious The strange phenomenon of mixed marriages in the Malay community, and repercussions

Firstly, I want to preface this by saying, it’s my own personal opinion and of course my 2 cents worth. Also, this is based on what I have observed empirically, and from my personal interactions with Malay friends and what not.


I have noticed that among the various ethnic communities in Singapore, Malays tend to have the higher ratio of mixed marriages. Now, I am not aware of any studies into this at all, but it seems to be so from a personal point of view. I mean every community has its own Sarong Party Girls and Sarong Party Guys. Lots of Chinese girls have married white men, or Indians, and a few Chinese men I know have also married muslim women. But as a percentage of the overall marriages in this community, its not that high.


As for the Malay community, it seems to me that this phenomenon is of a much higher occurrence. I know many malay girls who have married white men, as well as Indians and other races. It almost seems to me that they prefer foreign white men to local malay muslim men. Is this because there is something wrong with the local malay male? Its not just the rank and file Malay boys and girls who have this preference. But look at their political and cultural leaders. Minister Yacob Ibrahim has married a white Puerto Rican girl, and he of all people must know the implications this would have in his own community. I daresay this caused him a short as EP for this coming elections. But other famous Malays like Fandi Ahmad have also married out of their race and religion, his wife being a South African Caucasian woman.


What are the repercussions? Look at Halimah now. A product of a Malay and Indian marriage. Are there no more 100% pure born Malays anymore? Will Malays die out down the road as a racially exclusive community? Why is this not happening in Malaysia, among their Malays? If the PAP intends to go on passing more and more racial laws, they are going to have to get more and more creative with what is a Malay.

Re: The strange phenomenon of mixed marriages in the Malay community, and repercussio

Papsmearer said:

Firstly, I want to preface this by saying, it’s my own personal opinion and of course my 2 cents worth. Also, this is based on what I have observed empirically, and from my personal interactions with Malay friends and what not.


I have noticed that among the various ethnic communities in Singapore, Malays tend to have the higher ratio of mixed marriages. Now, I am not aware of any studies into this at all, but it seems to be so from a personal point of view. I mean every community has its own Sarong Party Girls and Sarong Party Guys. Lots of Chinese girls have married white men, or Indians, and a few Chinese men I know have also married muslim women. But as a percentage of the overall marriages in this community, its not that high.


As for the Malay community, it seems to me that this phenomenon is of a much higher occurrence. I know many malay girls who have married white men, as well as Indians and other races. It almost seems to me that they prefer foreign white men to local malay muslim men. Is this because there is something wrong with the local malay male? Its not just the rank and file Malay boys and girls who have this preference. But look at their political and cultural leaders. Minister Yacob Ibrahim has married a white Puerto Rican girl, and he of all people must know the implications this would have in his own community. I daresay this caused him a short as EP for this coming elections. But other famous Malays like Fandi Ahmad have also married out of their race and religion, his wife being a South African Caucasian woman.


What are the repercussions? Look at Halimah now. A product of a Malay and Indian marriage. Are there no more 100% pure born Malays anymore? Will Malays die out down the road as a racially exclusive community? Why is this not happening in Malaysia, among their Malays? If the PAP intends to go on passing more and more racial laws, they are going to have to get more and more creative with what is a Malay.

Click to expand...

The concept of a Malay is already difficult. This is a collection of disparate tribes from different parts of Malaya (not Malaysia) and Indonesia falling under the Achinese, Boyanese, Sundanese etc. banners. But that aside, we know who a Malay is in Singapore by their way of life and coupled with appearance. Leave religion aside. Not all "Malays" are Muslims. There are lots of Christian Malays in Indonesia. It just so happens most Singapore Malays are Muslims (not all).

The reason many Malay girls marry outside the race is bacause they can. The reason they do this is because they want a better future. Period. I guess others can elaborate on this. Often the spouse will become a Muslim in order to be accepted by the family. So the religious obstacle is overcome.

Re: The strange phenomenon of mixed marriages in the Malay community, and repercussio

Agree.

This was reported in the ST last week. http://www.straitstimes.com/opinion/mixed-marriages-should-debunk-idea-of-pure-race

"Such inter-ethnic marriages were more prevalent among the Muslim community. These marriages made up one in three - or 33.9 per cent - of Muslim marriages, compared with 18.2 per cent of civil marriages."

The Malays are generally not prohibited to marry outside their race and do not face parochial issues to marry within the own community nor do they look down on other races. The problems is the pressure to adopt Islam by their non-muslims partners. Singapore Arabs of Yemeni extract have been here for 2 centuries but they try to avoid marrying into other races and even into the Malay community despite both sides being Muslims. Like everything there are exceptions.

Satyr said:

The concept of a Malay is already difficult. This is a collection of disparate tribes from different parts of Malaya (not Malaysia) and Indonesia falling under the Achinese, Boyanese, Sundanese etc. banners. But that aside, we know who a Malay is in Singapore by their way of life and coupled with appearance. Leave religion aside. Not all "Malays" are Muslims. There are lots of Christian Malays in Indonesia. It just so happens most Singapore Malays are Muslims (not all).

The reason many Malay girls marry outside the race is bacause they can. The reason they do this is because they want a better future. Period. I guess others can elaborate on this. Often the spouse will become a Muslim in order to be accepted by the family. So the religious obstacle is overcome.

Click to expand...

Re: The strange phenomenon of mixed marriages in the Malay community, and repercussio

Papsmearer said:

As for the Malay community, it seems to me that this phenomenon is of a much higher occurrence. I know many malay girls who have married white men, as well as Indians and other races. It almost seems to me that they prefer foreign white men to local malay muslim men. Is this because there is something wrong with the local malay male?

Click to expand...

I can speak from personal experience. I had a Malay girlfriend. The relationship lasted about 8 months. Her previous boyfriend was a non Malay too.

I asked her why she had two non Malay non muslim boyfriends in a row and the answer was that she considered her own kind to be lazy and lacking ambition. "Of course there are exceptions" she admitted but she insisted the generalisation was accurate.

She also said that Malay men invariably evoke Islam in order to try to gain the upper hand in the relationship.

Many years have passed and she is now happily married to a Chinese Singaporean. They have 2 children.

Re: The strange phenomenon of mixed marriages in the Malay community, and repercussio

Malays are minority race in Singapore that is why the rate of mixed marriages in Singapore is higher. Check Malaysia I bet it is lower.

Same with non white races in Canada marrying mixed is also higher.

Simple.

Re: The strange phenomenon of mixed marriages in the Malay community, and repercussio

Its a matriarchal society and the guys laze around. Same with the Philippines. The religion adds to it. In countries such as the US, UAE etc where married couples are admitted in if one partner has a working visa, its the girls from Philippines who hold down jobs such as Nurses, service staff etc while the husband drives the family car to drop the wife off at work and then hang around with friends.

Leongsam said:

I can speak from personal experience. I had a Malay girlfriend. The relationship lasted about 8 months. Her previous boyfriend was a non Malay too.

I asked her why she had two non Malay non muslim boyfriends in a row and the answer was that she considered her own kind to be lazy and lacking ambition. "Of course there are exceptions" she admitted but she insisted the generalisation was accurate.

She also said that Malay men invariably evoke Islam in order to try to gain the upper hand in the relationship.

Many years have passed and she is now happily married to a Chinese Singaporean. They have 2 children.

Click to expand...

Re: The strange phenomenon of mixed marriages in the Malay community, and repercussio

Malay have no problem with interracial marriage but the offsprings of such marriages must adopt Islam and identify themselves as Malay rather than the other way. This is regardless whether the father or mother is Malay. This is rather different from other male dominant Asian culture where the race of the child follows the father.

Hence govt is worried about how other non Malay perceived halimah race issue particularly amongst the 'Indian '.

Re: The strange phenomenon of mixed marriages in the Malay community, and repercussio

scroobal said:

Its a matriarchal society and the guys laze around. Same with the Philippines. The religion adds to it. In countries such as the US, UAE etc where married couples are admitted in if one partner has a working visa, its the girls from Philippines who hold down jobs such as Nurses, service staff etc while the husband drives the family car to drop the wife off at work and then hang around with friends.

Click to expand...

Why must everything blame on the religion? Quote me verses fm the Quran tat command Muslims to laze around and tcss? On the contrary the Quran and beloved Prophet had this to say:

Quran:

"Read" In the name of your Lord: (Surah Alaq)

Say: Are those equal, those who know and those who do not know? It is those who are
endured with uderstanding that remember (Allah's knowledge) (Zumar-9)

The Hadith: Sayings of the Prophet saw

"Seeking knowledge is an obligation upon every Muslim" (Saheeh)

Re: The strange phenomenon of mixed marriages in the Malay community, and repercussio

Papsmearer said:

Firstly, I want to preface this by saying, it’s my own personal opinion and of course my 2 cents worth. Also, this is based on what I have observed empirically, and from my personal interactions with Malay friends and what not.


I have noticed that among the various ethnic communities in Singapore, Malays tend to have the higher ratio of mixed marriages. Now, I am not aware of any studies into this at all, but it seems to be so from a personal point of view. I mean every community has its own Sarong Party Girls and Sarong Party Guys. Lots of Chinese girls have married white men, or Indians, and a few Chinese men I know have also married muslim women. But as a percentage of the overall marriages in this community, its not that high.


As for the Malay community, it seems to me that this phenomenon is of a much higher occurrence. I know many malay girls who have married white men, as well as Indians and other races. It almost seems to me that they prefer foreign white men to local malay muslim men. Is this because there is something wrong with the local malay male? Its not just the rank and file Malay boys and girls who have this preference. But look at their political and cultural leaders. Minister Yacob Ibrahim has married a white Puerto Rican girl, and he of all people must know the implications this would have in his own community. I daresay this caused him a short as EP for this coming elections. But other famous Malays like Fandi Ahmad have also married out of their race and religion, his wife being a South African Caucasian woman.


What are the repercussions? Look at Halimah now. A product of a Malay and Indian marriage. Are there no more 100% pure born Malays anymore? Will Malays die out down the road as a racially exclusive community? Why is this not happening in Malaysia, among their Malays? If the PAP intends to go on passing more and more racial laws, they are going to have to get more and more creative with what is a Malay.

Click to expand...

PAP has made it very messy. Traditionally, a child of a mixed marriage follows the race of the father. Anything wrong with that belief?

Re: The strange phenomenon of mixed marriages in the Malay community, and repercussio

Leongsam said:

I can speak from personal experience. I had a Malay girlfriend. The relationship lasted about 8 months. Her previous boyfriend was a non Malay too.

I asked her why she had two non Malay non muslim boyfriends in a row and the answer was that she considered her own kind to be lazy and lacking ambition. "Of course there are exceptions" she admitted but she insisted the generalisation was accurate.

She also said that Malay men invariably evoke Islam in order to try to gain the upper hand in the relationship.

Many years have passed and she is now happily married to a Chinese Singaporean. They have 2 children.

Click to expand...

The yearning for a better life and the labelling of one's own male race species as being lazy and lacking in ambition can be heard everywhere, especially in developing countries. It can be a Vietnamese or a Thai or even a PRC. Thus, the females always welcome and accept the advances of foreign or non same race males and in many cases these would result in marriages.

However, what I want to highlight is another phenomenon, that is, the middle age female about turn syndrome.

Amongst the above mixed marriages, we often see after a few years of marriage or in the middle ages the females often have a turnaround and instead start favouring males of their own kind. The reason they often give is that the husbands do not always understand them because of differences in language, culture or practices. They also say they feel lonely, esp if they happen to be residing in foreign land. They thus seek the company of their own kind, whenever they have the chance to meet their own kind. Turns out often, their own kind are usually younger (of course not always) males who seem attentive to these females. In many cases, these contacts resulted in affairs and when these affairs are discovered, they can result in breakup, divorces and in dramatic cases, murders, killings and other mayhem. Many of such cases are reported in the media of foreign wives killing their foreign husbands, with the help of their lovers of their own kind.

These are tragedies, where people could not or are not satisfied playing the happy roles of being a foreign wife, living the better lives than they possibly could if they marry their own kind or stay in their own countries. The previous culture, way of life and practices they had been accustomed while young will always raise they heads to lead these woemen to seek their own kind in middle age, mid life or just after a few years of marriage.

The moral of the above phenomenon is that, be warned, if a man marries a foreign wife, somewhere and some time into the marriage, the foreign wife will feel lonely and seek the company of their own kind. This is where the tragedies may happen, given the right circumstances.

Bros who may have come across such cases may also share their experiences.

Good day.

Re: The strange phenomenon of mixed marriages in the Malay community, and repercussio

3_M said:

Malay have no problem with interracial marriage but the offsprings of such marriages must adopt Islam and identify themselves as Malay rather than the other way. This is regardless whether the father or mother is Malay. This is rather different from other male dominant Asian culture where the race of the child follows the father.

Hence govt is worried about how other non Malay perceived halimah race issue particularly amongst the 'Indian '.

Click to expand...

Nonsense! My relative daughter married to a male chinese convert. Children follow father surname and race indicate "Chinese"

Re: The strange phenomenon of mixed marriages in the Malay community, and repercussio

whoami said:

Why must everything blame on the religion? Quote me verses fm the Quran tat command Muslims to laze around and tcss? On the contrary the Quran and beloved Prophet had this to say:

Quran:

"Read" In the name of your Lord: (Surah Alaq)

Say: Are those equal, those who know and those who do not know? It is those who are
endured with uderstanding that remember (Allah's knowledge) (Zumar-9)

The Hadith: Sayings of the Prophet saw

"Seeking knowledge is an obligation upon every Muslim" (Saheeh)

Click to expand...

Religion can be misused. Christianity is no exception. You can cherry pick scriptures to support any position you want.

Re: The strange phenomenon of mixed marriages in the Malay community, and repercussio

Satyr said:

Religion can be misused. Christianity is no exception. You can cherry pick scriptures to support any position you want.

Click to expand...

Wat cherry pick? I already told u. U just pay a visit to Darul Arqam. Make enquiry tere. Dont alway rely on heresay or fm social media like sbf.

Just to add further. The children even took Mandarin as 2nd language. Hows tat? I no BS. So will u guys still said they are not proud of their mum race as Malay cos their children are taking Mandarin instead of malay as 2nd language?

Re: The strange phenomenon of mixed marriages in the Malay community, and repercussio

I read a news article before that majority of Malay women marry down when they marry Malay men.

If Malay women wasn't Muslim by default, many Chinese men will go for these brownies.

Re: The strange phenomenon of mixed marriages in the Malay community, and repercussio

although papigs is shoving 害你妈 as down everybody throat as a malay, there nothing everyone can do about it. kpkb here also useless, it will be a walkover as papigs will not want a kfc result or worse result to happen. As long she dont mati after one term, she will serve at least 2 term as sElected President as it will give papigs another 10 years to think of new laws to pass into the constitution to preserve papig rule for the forseeable future. singapore as a nation will be screw again and again and again.

Re: The strange phenomenon of mixed marriages in the Malay community, and repercussio

whoami said:

Nonsense! My relative daughter married to a male chinese convert. Children follow father surname and race indicate "Chinese"

Click to expand...

Children learn Malay or Chinese in school?

Re: The strange phenomenon of mixed marriages in the Malay community, and repercussio

fupikee said:

The yearning for a better life and the labelling of one's own male race species as being lazy and lacking in ambition can be heard everywhere, especially in developing countries. It can be a Vietnamese or a Thai or even a PRC. Thus, the females always welcome and accept the advances of foreign or non same race males and in many cases these would result in marriages......

Click to expand...

I think this phenomena is also called the middle age crisis

It effects both men & women. It is difficult when you are married to someone of the same race & background but can be worse in mixed marriages because there are more room for conflicts in a marriage.

Had a neighbour who married a thai. For years she was happy enough & had 2 kids. She didn't have to work because the hubby owned a business. Then one day she decided to go back to her village because she didn't feel fulfilled. She wasn't happy at just being a housewife. Anyway this is how my neighbour explained it.

Re: The strange phenomenon of mixed marriages in the Malay community, and repercussio

3_M said:

Malay have no problem with interracial marriage but the offsprings of such marriages must adopt Islam and identify themselves as Malay rather than the other way. This is regardless whether the father or mother is Malay. This is rather different from other male dominant Asian culture where the race of the child follows the father.

Hence govt is worried about how other non Malay perceived halimah race issue particularly amongst the 'Indian '.

Click to expand...

That is why this phenomenon is so strange to me. Malays when they marry other races, require that race to convert to Islam. I know many white spouses of malay women who have converted, and have even taken muslim names. but in reality, many are sham conversions. Once they return home to the country of the spouse, the spouse just ignores the conversion and eats pork or whatever he likes. With this conversion as an impediment to potential marriage partners, malays still go out to look for other races to marry.

I mean Chinese girls don't have this issue with conversion, so you would think it would be issue to for them to marry other race, and there would be more mixed marriages then malays, but the opposite is true.

Re: The strange phenomenon of mixed marriages in the Malay community, and repercussio

sleaguepunter said:

although papigs is shoving 害你妈 as down everybody throat as a malay, there nothing everyone can do about it. kpkb here also useless, it will be a walkover as papigs will not want a kfc result or worse result to happen. As long she dont mati after one term, she will serve at least 2 term as sElected President as it will give papigs another 10 years to think of new laws to pass into the constitution to preserve papig rule for the forseeable future. singapore as a nation will be screw again and again and again.

Click to expand...

Yup. I always thought that only the Malay community can save themselves from this kind of shit perpetrated on them by the PAP. But the comments on this thread so far seems to indicate that Malays themselves do not respect their own race and wants to marry outside of it. Even prominent Malays don;t marry within their own community eg. one third of malay marriages are to non malays? Wow. Like that, if they don't respect their own race and will not fight the PAP, then why should the other racial communities care?

Re: The strange phenomenon of mixed marriages in the Malay community, and repercussio

johnny333 said:

I think this phenomena is also called the middle age crisis

It effects both men & women. It is difficult when you are married to someone of the same race & background but can be worse in mixed marriages because there are more room for conflicts in a marriage.

Had a neighbour who married a thai. For years she was happy enough & had 2 kids. She didn't have to work because the hubby owned a business. Then one day she decided to go back to her village because she didn't feel fulfilled. She wasn't happy at just being a housewife. Anyway this is how my neighbour explained it.

Click to expand...

Thanks Johnny for sharing.

You are right - many times it is also mid life crisis mixed in. A rationale person would have thought that life as a wife who does not need to work, whose children are growing bigger and bigger and who presumably no longer needs full attention of the mother would be happy in a city where more or less, most things work, things can be done relatively fast. Husband, don't stray around, always come back with the money, etc, etc. This is a good marriage life. Yet, somewhere, there is something missing, a yearning of being close to others who share the same language, culture and or racial practices. The yearning of the past which cannot be replaced by material well being alone.

It only awaits the appearance of some same race/cultural bro or sister to trigger the reflect to want to return back to their 'roots'. That is where actions will be taken and tragedies start to be enacted.

So sad to see such things happening to supposedly happy mixed marriages - but unfortunately, they did really happen often.....