AWARE should be made known of this, woman should find their husband early in Uni, not regret that they can't find any later in life.
http://www.smh.com.au/lifestyle/life/advice-to-the-daughters-i-never-had-20130403-2h5qx.html
http://www.smh.com.au/lifestyle/life/advice-to-the-daughters-i-never-had-20130403-2h5qx.html
Advice to 'the daughters I never had'
Date
April 3, 2013 - 10:34AM
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Sarah Berry
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Princeton mother's letter telling female students to 'find a husband on campus' sparks worldwide outrage.
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Jill Dolan Nina Bahadur Gender and Sexuality Studies York Magazine 's The Cut
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Subject of mockery: Susan Patton appears on America Live.
The pearls of wisdom offered by one Princeton mother to female students has caused such a commotion that it apparently crashed the university's website.
In the letter to the editor titled Advice for the young women of Princeton: the daughters I never had, former Princeton student, Susan Patton said: "Forget about having it all, or not having it all, leaning in or leaning out - here's what you really need to know that nobody is telling you... Find a husband on campus before you graduate."
Other gems from her op-ed included:
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"For most of you, the cornerstone of your future and happiness will be inextricably linked to the man you marry, and you will never again have this concentration of men who are worthy of you.
"I am the mother of two sons who are both Princetonians. My older son had the good judgment and great fortune to marry a classmate of his, but he could have married anyone. My younger son is a junior and the universe of women he can marry is limitless. Men regularly marry women who are younger, less intelligent, less educated. It's amazing how forgiving men can be about a woman's lack of erudition, if she is exceptionally pretty. Smart women can't (shouldn't) marry men who aren't at least their intellectual equal. As Princeton women, we have almost priced ourselves out of the market. Simply put, there is a very limited population of men who are as smart or smarter than we are. And I say again — you will never again be surrounded by this concentration of men who are worthy of you."
She also suggested that while it is OK for men to date younger women, the same does not work in reverse. Therefore, the logic went, the female students must nab a man early on in the piece because as they progress the pool of men on offer will be but a mere puddle, while "frankly, [the male students] now have four classes of women to choose from."
To that, Huffington Post Assistant Editor, Nina Bahadur replied: "So you're saying not only that older women can't get younger men but also that younger men don't want to date older women, even when the age difference is just a couple of years. Wanna bet?"
Patton's letter even prompted a response by Princeton's director of Gender and Sexuality Studies, Jill Dolan. "Susan Patton is, of course, entitled to her opinion and to her priorities. And as a 1977 female alum, she was among Princeton's gender pioneers," Dolan said.
"But I regret that her rhetoric encourages current Princeton students toward a version of higher education that was popular in the 1950s which assumed – to everyone's detriment – that female students enrolled only to find husbands – that is, for an Mrs. degree."
Dolan's response was relatively delicate compared to the one Patton received from the American media, who were openly astounded by her archaic attitudes. Gawker wrote a piece titled Some Poor Kid's Mom Wrote a Letter to Princeton's Student Newspaper Begging Girls to Date Her Son, saying her letter to the editor "might, in polite circles, be called 'intriguing.' Everywhere else: batshit crazy and extremely offensive. Also, embarrassing!"
New York Magazine's The Cut also weighed in on the letter. Writer Mareen O'Connor said: "it's worth noting that this embarrassing window into how Ivy Leaguers talk to each other should be as cringe-inducing to modern audiences as Patton's take on gender relations is. Some of the dumbest and most intellectually incurious people I've known were in my class at Princeton. And some of the smartest I've known went to state schools, or community colleges, or didn't go to college. I even dated a few of them."
The reaction did not demur Patton. Instead, the human resources consultant who recently divorced her non-Ivy-League husband of thirty years went on American Live TV, wrote an explanatory piece in The Huffington Post and attempted to justify her stance to The Cut.
"I'm astounded by the extreme reaction," she said. "Honestly, I just thought this was some good advice from a Jewish mother. It's not that I'm anti-feminist. I completely understand that not all women want to be married, not all women want a family, not all women are heterosexual. I get all of that! [But] women go to college for a lot of reasons... I'm just saying, if as a young [Princeton] woman, you are thinking that you would like to have not just professional success but personal success as part of your life happiness, keep an open mind to the men that you're surrounded with now.
"Because these are the best guys. You'll meet wonderful men outside of Princeton, but you'll never have the numbers in your favour the way you do now."
And, as she said in her original story, "If I had daughters, this is what I would be telling them."
Princeton has since called for submissions "in the interest of furthering this conversation". They intend to publish the responses in the student newspaper section of the website later this week.
Read more: http://www.smh.com.au/lifestyle/lif...i-never-had-20130403-2h5qx.html#ixzz2PLz7fb5b
