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Not blue pill.. but laughter's best medicine
- Thread starter yinyang
- Start date
A Brit and Chinese TCSS
British: Can you swim?
Chinese: No
British: Then a dog is better than you because it swims.
Chinese: Can you swim?
British: Yes!
Chinese: Then what's the difference between you and the dog…
British was Shocked!!
Chinese Rocks!
European : Why do you Chinese come in all colors; look at us, we are all white..?
Wong Fei Hoong: Horses too come in different colors but donkeys are all the same..!!!
British: Can you swim?
Chinese: No
British: Then a dog is better than you because it swims.
Chinese: Can you swim?
British: Yes!
Chinese: Then what's the difference between you and the dog…
British was Shocked!!
Chinese Rocks!
European : Why do you Chinese come in all colors; look at us, we are all white..?
Wong Fei Hoong: Horses too come in different colors but donkeys are all the same..!!!
Bar code? :p
For several years, a man had been having an affair with an Italian woman. One night, she confided to him that she was pregnant.
Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he paid her a large sum of money if she would go back to Italy to have the child in secret.
Also, if she stayed in Italy to raise the child, he would provide child support until the child turned 18.
She agreed, but asked how he would know when the baby was born.
To keep it discrete, he told her to simply mail him a postcard, and write "Spaghetti" on the back when the child was born.
He would then arrange for the Child Support Payments to begin.
One day, about 8 months later, he came home to his confused wife.
"Honey," she said, "You received a very strange postcard today."
"Oh, just give it to me and I'll explain it later," he said.
The wife obeyed and watched as her husband read the card, turned white, and fainted.
On the card was written:
Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti.
Three with meatballs, two without.
Send extra sauce.
For several years, a man had been having an affair with an Italian woman. One night, she confided to him that she was pregnant.
Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he paid her a large sum of money if she would go back to Italy to have the child in secret.
Also, if she stayed in Italy to raise the child, he would provide child support until the child turned 18.
She agreed, but asked how he would know when the baby was born.
To keep it discrete, he told her to simply mail him a postcard, and write "Spaghetti" on the back when the child was born.
He would then arrange for the Child Support Payments to begin.
One day, about 8 months later, he came home to his confused wife.
"Honey," she said, "You received a very strange postcard today."
"Oh, just give it to me and I'll explain it later," he said.
The wife obeyed and watched as her husband read the card, turned white, and fainted.
On the card was written:
Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti.
Three with meatballs, two without.
Send extra sauce.
Last edited:
Blondie
THE DUMB BLONDE:
One day while on patrol, a police officer pulled over a car for speeding. He went up to the car and asked the driver to roll down her window. The first thing he noticed was how hot the driver was - blue eyes, blonde, the works.
“I’ve pulled you over for speeding, Ma’am. Could I see your drivers license?”
“What’s a license?” replied the blonde, instantly giving away the fact that she was as dumb as a stump.
“It’s usually in your wallet,” replied the officer. After fumbling for a few minutes, the driver managed to find it.
“Now may I see your registration?” asked the cop.
“Registration….. what’s that….?” asked the blonde.
“It’s usually in your glove compartment,” said the cop impatiently. After some more fumbling, she found the registration.
“I’ll be back in a minute.” said the cop and walked back to his car.The officer called in to the dispatch to run a check on the woman’s license and registration.
After a few moments, the dispatcher came back,
“Ummm… is this woman driving a red sports car?”
“Yes.” replied the officer
“Is she a drop dead gorgeous blonde?” asked the dispatcher.
“Uh… yes.” replied the cop.
“Here’s what you do,” said the dispatcher. “Give her the stuff back, and drop your pants.”
“What? I can’t do that. It’s inappropriate!” exclaimed the cop.
“Trust me. Just do it.” said the dispatcher.
So the cop goes back to the car, gives back the license and registration and drops his pants, just as the dispatcher said.
The blonde looks down and sighs… “Ohh no… not another breath-analyzer!!!"
THE DUMB BLONDE:
One day while on patrol, a police officer pulled over a car for speeding. He went up to the car and asked the driver to roll down her window. The first thing he noticed was how hot the driver was - blue eyes, blonde, the works.
“I’ve pulled you over for speeding, Ma’am. Could I see your drivers license?”
“What’s a license?” replied the blonde, instantly giving away the fact that she was as dumb as a stump.
“It’s usually in your wallet,” replied the officer. After fumbling for a few minutes, the driver managed to find it.
“Now may I see your registration?” asked the cop.
“Registration….. what’s that….?” asked the blonde.
“It’s usually in your glove compartment,” said the cop impatiently. After some more fumbling, she found the registration.
“I’ll be back in a minute.” said the cop and walked back to his car.The officer called in to the dispatch to run a check on the woman’s license and registration.
After a few moments, the dispatcher came back,
“Ummm… is this woman driving a red sports car?”
“Yes.” replied the officer
“Is she a drop dead gorgeous blonde?” asked the dispatcher.
“Uh… yes.” replied the cop.
“Here’s what you do,” said the dispatcher. “Give her the stuff back, and drop your pants.”
“What? I can’t do that. It’s inappropriate!” exclaimed the cop.
“Trust me. Just do it.” said the dispatcher.
So the cop goes back to the car, gives back the license and registration and drops his pants, just as the dispatcher said.
The blonde looks down and sighs… “Ohh no… not another breath-analyzer!!!"
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