Simple pleasures of life. On your last bit, better still if a chabor can suck your dick (with no obligations):o:p
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Not blue pill.. but laughter's best medicine
- Thread starter yinyang
- Start date
True Friendship Among Golfing Buddies
| A man brings his best golf mate home, unannounced, for dinner at 18:30, after golf. His wife screams her head off while his friend sits open mouthed and listens to the tirade. "My bloody hair & makeup are not done, the house is a mess, the dishes aren't done. Can't you see I'm still in my pyjamas and I can't be bothered with cooking tonight! Why the heck did you bring him home unannounced you stupid idiot?" “Because he’s thinking of getting married..." |
Life's a sperm? :p
Today is Sperm Appreciation Day
Today, lets have a Moment of Silence in Honour of those children who were not born But were......
1. Swallowed during a Blow job,
2. Thrown away in a Condom,
3. Washed in trousers during Masturbation,
4. Dropped on someones breast and died in
tissue paper,
5. Slipped on someones hips and lost with
water..
6. Suffocated in the darkness of some arseholes (male and female),
7. Died in the orifice of goats, cows and camels (especially in the Middle East)..
8. And many more untold incidents. ...
Consider Yourself very lucky to be alive. Coz You made it!
You are a Sperm That Survived!!
You were the fastest swimmer and you made it!!
You were a Sperm that survived while billions of others Perished.
So do not feel down. Live Life and Enjoy Life. If you made it when you were a Sperm... You can make it in
Life too!
Today is Sperm Appreciation Day
Today, lets have a Moment of Silence in Honour of those children who were not born But were......
1. Swallowed during a Blow job,
2. Thrown away in a Condom,
3. Washed in trousers during Masturbation,
4. Dropped on someones breast and died in
tissue paper,
5. Slipped on someones hips and lost with
water..
6. Suffocated in the darkness of some arseholes (male and female),
7. Died in the orifice of goats, cows and camels (especially in the Middle East)..
8. And many more untold incidents. ...
Consider Yourself very lucky to be alive. Coz You made it!
You are a Sperm That Survived!!
You were the fastest swimmer and you made it!!
You were a Sperm that survived while billions of others Perished.
So do not feel down. Live Life and Enjoy Life. If you made it when you were a Sperm... You can make it in
Life too!
Work Perks
Workplace-review site Glassdoor recently unveiled a user-generated list of the top company benefits–and they go well beyond day care and free snacks. Here’s a sampling:
NETFLIX
A year of paid maternity and paternity leave for new parents
REI
Two “Yay Days,” paid time off during which employees are supposed to enjoy themselves outdoors
AIRBNB
$2,000 per year to travel and stay in company listings around the world
FACEBOOK
$4,000 in “baby cash” for new parents
PWC
$1,200 per year to reimburse student debt
BURTON
“Snow days,” so employees can hit the slopes after a large snowfall
EVERNOTE
Free team-building classes on subjects like macaroon baking
WORLD WILDLIFE FUND
“Panda Fridays,” which are essentially free days off, every other week
Workplace-review site Glassdoor recently unveiled a user-generated list of the top company benefits–and they go well beyond day care and free snacks. Here’s a sampling:
NETFLIX
A year of paid maternity and paternity leave for new parents
REI
Two “Yay Days,” paid time off during which employees are supposed to enjoy themselves outdoors
AIRBNB
$2,000 per year to travel and stay in company listings around the world
$4,000 in “baby cash” for new parents
PWC
$1,200 per year to reimburse student debt
BURTON
“Snow days,” so employees can hit the slopes after a large snowfall
EVERNOTE
Free team-building classes on subjects like macaroon baking
WORLD WILDLIFE FUND
“Panda Fridays,” which are essentially free days off, every other week
| A Chinese moves to USA after 50 years of living in Shanghai. He bought a home on a small piece of land. The friendly American neighbor decides to go across and welcome the new guy. He goes next door but on his way up the drive-way he sees the Chinese man running around his front yard chasing about 10 hens. Not wanting to interrupt these 'Chinese customs', he decides to put the welcome on hold for the day. Next day he decides to try again, but just as he is about to knock on the front door, he looks through the window and sees the Chinese urinate into a glass and then drink it. Not wanting to interrupt another 'Chinese custom', he decides to put the welcome on hold for yet another day. A day later he decides to give it one last go, but on his way next door, he sees the China-man leading a bull down the drive-way ....pause....and then put his left ear next to the bull's butt. The American bloke can't handle this, so he goes up to the China-man and says, 'Jeez Mate, what the hell is it with your Chinese customs? I come over to welcome you to the neighborhood and see you running around the yard after hens. The next day you are pissing in a glass and drinking it, and then today you have your head so close to that bull's butt, it could just about shit on you.' The China man is very taken back and says, 'Sorry sir, you no understand, these no Chinese customs I doing, these American Customs.' 'What do you mean ' says the neighbor, 'Those aren't American customs.' 'Yes they are, man at travel agent tell me' replied the China-man 'He say to become true American, I must learn to ..... chase chicks, ..... get piss drunk, and .... listen to bull-shit.... 
|
TGIF :p
Prince Charles and the Hooker
Prince Charles decided to take up walking every day. At the same street corner he passed, a hooker was standing there every day.
He learned to brace himself as he approached her for what was almost certain to follow.
"One hundred and fifty pounds!" she'd shout.
"No! Five pounds!" he said from the side of his mouth, just to shut her up.
This ritual between him and the hooker became a daily occurrence. She'd yell, "One hundred and fifty pounds!"
He'd yell back, "Five pounds!"
One day, Camilla decided to accompany her husband. As the couple neared the hooker's corner, Prince Charles realized she'd bark her £150 offer and Camilla would wonder what he'd really been doing on all his past outings. He figured he'd better have a good explanation for his wife
As they neared the hooker’s corner he became even more apprehensive than usual. Sure enough, there she stood. He tried to avoid eye contact as she watched the pair pass.
Then, the hooker yelled:
"See what you get for five pounds, you cheap bastard!"
Prince Charles and the Hooker
Prince Charles decided to take up walking every day. At the same street corner he passed, a hooker was standing there every day.
He learned to brace himself as he approached her for what was almost certain to follow.
"One hundred and fifty pounds!" she'd shout.
"No! Five pounds!" he said from the side of his mouth, just to shut her up.
This ritual between him and the hooker became a daily occurrence. She'd yell, "One hundred and fifty pounds!"
He'd yell back, "Five pounds!"
One day, Camilla decided to accompany her husband. As the couple neared the hooker's corner, Prince Charles realized she'd bark her £150 offer and Camilla would wonder what he'd really been doing on all his past outings. He figured he'd better have a good explanation for his wife
As they neared the hooker’s corner he became even more apprehensive than usual. Sure enough, there she stood. He tried to avoid eye contact as she watched the pair pass.
Then, the hooker yelled:
"See what you get for five pounds, you cheap bastard!"
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