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Not blue pill.. but laughter's best medicine
- Thread starter yinyang
- Start date
Priest and Customs
In Catholic schools students are taught that lying is a sin. Instructors are also advised that using a bit of imagination is OK to express the truth differently without lying.
This is a perfect example of this teaching: Getting a Hairdryer Through Customs.....
An attractive young woman on a flight from Ireland asked the priest beside her, 'Father, may I ask a favour?'
Of course child. What can I do for you?'
'I bought my mother an expensive hair dryer for her birthday. It is unopened but well over the customs limits and I'm afraid they'll confiscate it. Is there any way you could carry it through customs for me? Could you possibly hide it under your robes for me?'
'I would love to help you my dear but, I must warn you, I will not tell a lie.'
'With your honest face, Father, I'm sure that no one will question you.'
When they got to customs, she let the priest go first. The official asked, 'Father, do you have anything to declare?'
'From the top of my head down to my waist I have nothing to declare.'
The official thought this answer a little strange, so he asked,
'And what do you have to declare from your waist to the floor?'
'I have a marvelous instrument that has been designed for use on women,
but which, to date, remains unused.'
Roaring with laughter, the official said, 'Go ahead, Father. Next please!’
In Catholic schools students are taught that lying is a sin. Instructors are also advised that using a bit of imagination is OK to express the truth differently without lying.
This is a perfect example of this teaching: Getting a Hairdryer Through Customs.....
An attractive young woman on a flight from Ireland asked the priest beside her, 'Father, may I ask a favour?'
Of course child. What can I do for you?'
'I bought my mother an expensive hair dryer for her birthday. It is unopened but well over the customs limits and I'm afraid they'll confiscate it. Is there any way you could carry it through customs for me? Could you possibly hide it under your robes for me?'
'I would love to help you my dear but, I must warn you, I will not tell a lie.'
'With your honest face, Father, I'm sure that no one will question you.'
When they got to customs, she let the priest go first. The official asked, 'Father, do you have anything to declare?'
'From the top of my head down to my waist I have nothing to declare.'
The official thought this answer a little strange, so he asked,
'And what do you have to declare from your waist to the floor?'
'I have a marvelous instrument that has been designed for use on women,
but which, to date, remains unused.'
Roaring with laughter, the official said, 'Go ahead, Father. Next please!’
3 m&d PMs
Pak Lah, Tun Mahathir and Najib got arrested for a severe offense in Malaysia, so for the terrible crime they are all sentenced 20 lashes each of the whip.
As they were preparing for their punishment, the Judge announced:
“It’s my wife’s birthday today, and she has asked me to allow each of you one wish before your whipping..”
Pak Lah was first in line, he thought for a while and then said: “Please tie a pillow to my back..”
This was done, but the pillow only lasted 10 lashes & Pak Lah had to be carried away bleeding and crying with pain.
Najib was next up. After watching Pak Lah in horror he said smugly: “Please fix two pillows to my back.”
But even two pillows could only take 15 lashes & Najib was also led away whimpering loudly.
Tun M was the last one up, but before he could say anything, the Judge turned to him and said:
“You are the most intelligent and smartest man. For this, you may have two wishes!”
“Thank you, your My Lord and Merciful Judge,” Tun M replied. “In recognition of your kindness, my first wish is that you give me not 20, but 100 lashes.”
“Not only are you an honourable, handsome and powerful man, you are also very brave.” The Judge said to Tun M with an admiring look on his face.
“If 100 lashes is what you desire, then so be it.
“And what is your second wish, ?” the Judge asked.
Tun M smiled
and said,
“Tie Najib to my back” !!!
Pak Lah, Tun Mahathir and Najib got arrested for a severe offense in Malaysia, so for the terrible crime they are all sentenced 20 lashes each of the whip.
As they were preparing for their punishment, the Judge announced:
“It’s my wife’s birthday today, and she has asked me to allow each of you one wish before your whipping..”
Pak Lah was first in line, he thought for a while and then said: “Please tie a pillow to my back..”
This was done, but the pillow only lasted 10 lashes & Pak Lah had to be carried away bleeding and crying with pain.
Najib was next up. After watching Pak Lah in horror he said smugly: “Please fix two pillows to my back.”
But even two pillows could only take 15 lashes & Najib was also led away whimpering loudly.
Tun M was the last one up, but before he could say anything, the Judge turned to him and said:
“You are the most intelligent and smartest man. For this, you may have two wishes!”
“Thank you, your My Lord and Merciful Judge,” Tun M replied. “In recognition of your kindness, my first wish is that you give me not 20, but 100 lashes.”
“Not only are you an honourable, handsome and powerful man, you are also very brave.” The Judge said to Tun M with an admiring look on his face.
“If 100 lashes is what you desire, then so be it.
“And what is your second wish, ?” the Judge asked.
Tun M smiled
and said,
“Tie Najib to my back” !!!
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