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My friend in need of some advice of divorce on daughter primary school overseas trip

kobe23

Alfrescian
Loyal
Hi guys , need some advice here for a case.

My divorced friend been paying $350 monthly for around 8-9 months without fail to his daughter which he transfer to his ex wife account due to the court order.

He had joint custody but care and control to his ex wife.

Access for his daughter is 2hrs per week and 1 over night on each weekend. And he got to drive her for pick up and drop off for 8-9years.

Now his daughter is primary 5, age 11 years old, will be going to a Korea trip on this coming June school holiday onnsome exchange programme arrange from her school.

There was no discussion or even a call or email from my friends ex wife to inform my friend tipsy for their daughters overseas trip expenses.

Then the ex wife e mail my friend telling him to pay 50% of her expense for air ticket+ Korean allowance+miscellance etc including renewed of passport total up to $650.

My friend refuse to pay and only indicate that he will only pay the monthly $350 only based on court order.

Of course , he will also give some. Cash to his daugher for the trip off by himself as he have never have the intention to declare it.

So the question is, can he don't pay the Korean trip expense and only pay the monthly $350 based on court order?.
 

scroobal

Alfrescian
Loyal
Re: My friend in need of some advice of divorce on daughter primary school overseas t

He needs to check the court order carefully. There might be conditions that apply when such situations come about. The wordings may be open to interpretation. If not he does not have to cough up more than the monthly. This sort of things are quite common. Divorced kids treated extraordinarily sometimes because of the guilt arising from the split or the teach the other partner a lesson. Either they become spoilt. Once he caves in , it will continue and the moment he stops, it will become his fault.

If he needs to reward his child over and above the order, he can do so on his own terms. It is however best done in collaboration with the ex-partner if they are still are amicable.
 

kobe23

Alfrescian
Loyal
Re: My friend in need of some advice of divorce on daughter primary school overseas t

Yeah, I did ask him to check on his court order but he told me only the monthly$350. Of course school holidays are half half each and alternate public holiday access to my friend.

The order did not spelt out any more.

So how?
 

kobe23

Alfrescian
Loyal
Re: My friend in need of some advice of divorce on daughter primary school overseas t

Btw , both my friend and his ex-wife are not in good terms at all after so many years of divorce.his ex wife abit siao siao type even after she remarry and give birth to 2 more kids.

Btw, his ex wife was caught in adultery when they divorce and even have a baby before finalizing their divorce proceeding.
 

eatshitndie

Alfrescian (Inf)
Asset
Re: My friend in need of some advice of divorce on daughter primary school overseas t

Yeah, I did ask him to check on his court order but he told me only the monthly$350. Of course school holidays are half half each and alternate public holiday access to my friend.

The order did not spelt out any more.

So how?

he is not obligated to pay for extra-curricular expenses outside the court order. however, to build goodwill towards his child, it's good long term investment for establishing close relationships in taking care of eca expenses that benefit the child. and it's important that the child knows these gifts are made thru' simple gestures and language such as "here honey, here's an angpow for your trip, and enjoy it!" it's then up to the primary custodian, his ex spouse, to use the angpow money to cover for part of the trip expenses. it's generous to ensure angpow money covers at least half of trip expenses. the child must receive the angpow directly from him during one of those stay-with-dad weekends. if he wishes to be a silent giver and not impress upon the child, he can always pay for half of the trip expense by credit card or check in order to keep a record.
 

kobe23

Alfrescian
Loyal
Re: My friend in need of some advice of divorce on daughter primary school overseas t

he is not obligated to pay for extra-curricular expenses outside the court order. however, to build goodwill towards his child, it's good long term investment for establishing close relationships in taking care of eca expenses that benefit the child. and it's important that the child knows these gifts are made thru' simple gestures and language such as "here honey, here's an angpow for your trip, and enjoy it!" it's then up to the primary custodian, his ex spouse, to use the angpow money to cover for part of the trip expenses. it's generous to ensure angpow money covers at least half of trip expenses. the child must receive the angpow directly from him during one of those stay-with-dad weekends. if he wishes to be a silent giver and not impress upon the child, he can always pay for half of the trip expense by credit card or check in order to keep a record.

That's what I told my friend. Just pay the $350 to her will do.although it's a school arrangement for overseas trip, for all these years that mynfriend have paid up, it's more tha enough to cover.

Btw my friend have told he daughter that he will paid the $350 directly to his daughter as overseas allowance.
 

Narong Wongwan

Alfrescian (Inf)
Asset
Re: My friend in need of some advice of divorce on daughter primary school overseas t

Never use the child as a tool to spite the ex.
See open a bit life will be easy for all, just a few hundred bucks to your own kid no need follow everything down to the letter.
$350 per month not enough to even for milk powder to raise a kid at all, give more treat as bonus.
 

BuiKia

Alfrescian (InfP)
Generous Asset
Re: My friend in need of some advice of divorce on daughter primary school overseas t

If not indicated, he can dun pay but the ex-wife can raise it in court and he may be asked to pay later. Women are pain-in-the-ass when it comes to money.

The girl is 10 years old, the mother will poison her mind claiming that your friend is a lousy father who does not want to pay for her expenses. The mother may even use the lack of money as the reason to withdraw her from the programme. The daughter will hate your friend for it.

Is it really worth it to save such money?
 

kobe23

Alfrescian
Loyal
Re: My friend in need of some advice of divorce on daughter primary school overseas t

Never use the child as a tool to spite the ex.
See open a bit life will be easy for all, just a few hundred bucks to your own kid no need follow everything down to the letter.
$350 per month not enough to even for milk powder to raise a kid at all, give more treat as bonus.

The problem is that my friend ex wife stillnvery nasty to my friend even she remarried and got 2more kids.
The $350 per month , my friend have been giving for the pass 8-9 years. My friends daughter do not need milk powder anymore.she is already 11yrs old.
Btw, his ex wife have already paid the Korea trip expense , now she Judy drop a mail to my friend friend and ask for 50-50 with my friend.
 

kobe23

Alfrescian
Loyal
Re: My friend in need of some advice of divorce on daughter primary school overseas t

My friend daughter also know her own mother is like that.dun seems to me she will hate my friend as his father.
Btw, ex wife already paid



If not indicated, he can dun pay but the ex-wife can raise it in court and he may be asked to pay later. Women are pain-in-the-ass when it comes to money.

The girl is 10 years old, the mother will poison her mind claiming that your friend is a lousy father who does not want to pay for her expenses. The mother may even use the lack of money as the reason to withdraw her from the programme. The daughter will hate your friend for it.

Is it really worth it to save such money?
 

Perspective

Alfrescian
Loyal
Re: My friend in need of some advice of divorce on daughter primary school overseas t

Ask your friend to just pay half of the air ticket to the ex-spouse, and the rest give directly to daughter.
 

singveld

Alfrescian (Inf)
Asset
Re: My friend in need of some advice of divorce on daughter primary school overseas t

+1, i agree with everything you said.

If not indicated, he can dun pay but the ex-wife can raise it in court and he may be asked to pay later. Women are pain-in-the-ass when it comes to money.

The girl is 10 years old, the mother will poison her mind claiming that your friend is a lousy father who does not want to pay for her expenses. The mother may even use the lack of money as the reason to withdraw her from the programme. The daughter will hate your friend for it.

Is it really worth it to save such money?
 

Hwheels

Alfrescian
Loyal
Re: My friend in need of some advice of divorce on daughter primary school overseas t

Does ur friend love his daughter? Can take it as a treat to sponsor her trip? I don't see what's the problem here if the kid really wishes to go on the trip and ur friend has the means to make his daughter happy.
 

Boliao

Alfrescian
Loyal
Re: My friend in need of some advice of divorce on daughter primary school overseas t

Don't get married and have children if he cannot afford $650. His ex-wife is obviously out to spite him. Just pay and get over with it.
 

tonychat

Alfrescian (InfP)
Generous Asset
Re: My friend in need of some advice of divorce on daughter primary school overseas t

Why your friend marry a sinkie woman, that is the stupidest thing a man can do.
 

looneytan

Alfrescian (Inf)
Asset
Re: My friend in need of some advice of divorce on daughter primary school overseas t

Why your friend marry a sinkie woman, that is the stupidest thing a man can do.

Why tonychat still kpkb in this forum, that is the stupidest thing half a man like him can do.
 

Cestbon

Alfrescian (Inf)
Asset
Re: My friend in need of some advice of divorce on daughter primary school overseas t

$650 just paid la. Is a small amount and is for the daughter holiday. U friend really stingy le.
 

tonychat

Alfrescian (InfP)
Generous Asset
Re: My friend in need of some advice of divorce on daughter primary school overseas t

$650 just paid la. Is a small amount and is for the daughter holiday. U friend really stingy le.

The thing is not about pay or not pay. The thing is the sinkie woman try to take the chance to rob him. I would suggest not to pay but give some holiday allowance to his kid
 

laksaboy

Alfrescian (Inf)
Asset
Re: My friend in need of some advice of divorce on daughter primary school overseas t

Go and get proper legal advice from a lawyer, not from a forum. Don't be cheap.

My hunch tells me he should pay only the minimum legal requirement and nothing more, but I am not a lawyer.

And to all the single men out there,
Still want to get married and get fucked over by the Women's Charter?
And no, even if you avoid Sinkie women and marry a foreign bride, as long as you have registered your marriage in Singapore, you're still subject to the Women's Charter.

I have made an affirmed decision to consciously avoid marriage. Join me.
Retain your freedom, your money and most importantly, your sanity.
No bitch to nag you, no in-laws to pester you, no need to ask for permission for evening nights out or on a solo vacation, no need to justify how I spend the money I earn, no chores to help out with and no weekend errands to do.

Life is pretty damn good as a single man.
Trust me.
 

bushtucker

Alfrescian (Inf)
Asset
Re: My friend in need of some advice of divorce on daughter primary school overseas t

as a one time expense, just pay the $650 and forget about it. if your friend loves his daughter then he should support her.

the problem arises when the ex-wife abuses the money and use it for something else like paying for the expenses of her own kids, or worse still, pay off gambling debts or new hubby's debts.
 
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