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The Prime Minister would like to inform you that he is a heathen, and therefore does not believe in Resurrections. Thank you for your understanding.

The Prime Minister announced today that Singapore will be sending its biggest gambler and the world's most high rolling gambler, Mrs. Ho Jinx nee Lee, to Las Vegas casinos. Mrs. Ho has a proven track record of gambling billions of dollars on one role of the dice, and will no doubt make Singapore...

The Prime Minister is easily scared by loud noises such as firecrackers, his wife's snoring, etc. and therefore, the ban will continue.

The Prime Minister is outraged to learn that a street has been named after Sam Leong, but no street has been named after himself. Orchard Road will henceforth be changed to Lee Gay Loong Road. Thank you for your co-operation.

The Prime Minister's Office would like to inform Teekee that since the taxpayer is paying for the full cost of the funeral, no expenses will be spared when the PM is buried. Thank you for your understanding.

The Prime Minister's Office would like to correct your assertion that magenta/powder purple is the Prime Minister's favourite colour. His favourite colour in fact, is Lava Pink. Thank you for your obedience.

The Prime Minister's Office would like to take this opportunity to inform Mr. TeeKee that Platinum has already be reserved for the casket of his most reverend Mentor Minister. Therefore, The Prime Minister cannot be buried in metal reserved only for godlike father figures. Your obedience is...

The Prime Minister's Office categorically deny that the Prime Minister was at Siloso Beach during the time of this molestation incident. Furthermore, the Prime Minister denies that transexuals excite him in a strange and unexplained way and that his excellency at no time has considered his wife...

The Prime Minister's Office is pleased to announce that when His Excellency, the Prime Minister dies, he too will be buried in a gold casket. As The Prime Minister is no son of an ordinary Mafia Boss, and is rather the son of an extraordinary Cambridge educated Mafia Boss, his casket will...