In step

Burdens . . . Bad?

Count it all joy, my brothers—James 1:2-4

This age regards the burdens of struggle/hardship/pain as simply bad, to be avoided at all cost—the loss of a job, loss of a career, loss of financial stability, loss of an image, loss of a marriage. So we medicate, distract, deny—anything to make them go away. And, when we just can’t, we direct our frustration toward God: “Where are you?” “How could you allow this?”

But . . . what if . . . these burdens are actually good things? Constructive things? What if they have a purpose? What if they’re not random things, but parts of a program to make us more mature, more focused, more rugged, more fruitful? Jesus taught that God prunes “every branch that does bear fruit,” so that “it may bear more fruit” (John 15:2). And, indeed, most men will concede that—while they’ve certainly not enjoyed the struggle/hardship/pain of the past—they do like the people they’ve become as a result. They prefer their post-burden selves to the men they were before.

Maybe we’ve got this upside down. Maybe we need to think differently about struggle/hardship/pain? Maybe the words of James aren’t so crazy?

“Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing” (James 1:2-4).


Are you going through something tough, right now? If not, enjoy this time. If you are, recognize the pain. Talk about it with trusted friends. But don’t try to escape it. Let it do its work. And, trust that it will not last forever. Trust that, after a little while, it’ll go away and you’ll emerge a better version of you.

For reading & meditation - Romans 8
"To set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace." (v. 6, RSV)

Although it may be impossible to prevent evil thoughts from entering your mind, make a conscious decision not to entertain them. A well-worn phrase puts the same thought in this way: you can't stop the birds from flying into your hair, but you can prevent them from building nests. Burns, the famous poet, said that when he wished to compose a love song, his recipe was to put himself on "a regimen of admiring a beautiful woman."

He deliberately filled his mind with pictures that were extremely dangerous to his passionate nature. Shairp, his biographer, said of him, "When the images came to be oft repeated, it cannot have tended to his peace of heart or his purity of life." Augustine, one of the great early Christians, also trod this dangerous path. He came to Carthage with its tinseled vice and began at once to coax his own carnal appetites. He said: "I loved not as yet, yet I loved to love; and with an hidden want I abhorred myself that I wanted not.

I befouled, therefore, the spring of friendship with the filth of concupiscence, and I dimmed its lustre with the hell of lustfullness; and yet, foul and dishonorableas I was, I craved, through an excess of vanity to be thought elegant and vain. I fell; precipitately then." Augustine's experience, like that of many others, goes to show the folly of entertaining evil thoughts and desires. Make up your mind, then, that although you may not be able to stop evil thoughts crowding into your mind, you will not play host to them.

Prayer: Father, although I know what I should do, it is often hard - though not impossible - to do it. I give my will to You again today. Take it and strengthen it, so that it will do Your bidding. In Jesus' Name I pray. Amen.

Gott Ist Gut

"Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus."1

In the book, Finding Hope Again, Roy Fairchild told how he had come to Vienna after a two-week illness in a small Austrian village. He had spent most of his money on medical costs and his last cent to take a train to Vienna to try and find his friends with whom he had been traveling.

As he was standing in one of the street car stations in the center of the city, tired, hungry and discouraged, a little old wrinkled lady, one of the ladies whose job was to sweep out the station, came to him and asked him if he were hungry.

Before he could answer she took her own lunch from a brown paper bag and offered him half of it. He said he was so moved by her action that he has never forgotten her face or her kindness and the sparkle in her eye.

They talked for more than an hour about her life. She was raised in the country on a farm knowing only hard work. Since then she had lost her husband and two sons in the Resistance. Only her daughter had survived but she said that she was very thankful for many things.

When asking her why she offered him half her lunch the lady simply said, "Jesu ist mein Herr. Gott ist gut (Jesus is my Lord. God is good)."

This story reminds me of one of my favorite hymns written by Kate B. Wilkinson. Let's make it our prayer for today and every day:

"Dear God,

May the mind of Christ, my Savior,
Live in me from day to day,
By his love and pow'r controlling,
All I do and say.
May his beauty rest upon me
As I seek the lost to win,
And may they forget the channel,
Seeing only him.

Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus' name, amen."

1. Philippians 2:4-5 (NIV).

The first thing to do
For reading & meditation: Psalms 42
"These things I remember as I pour out my soul: how I used to go with the multitude ' to the house of God '" (v.4)

Over the past few days we have seen how the psalmist was caught in the hiatus between the moment when he stopped himself from sliding and the moment when he started to climb again. This, we said, is a very critical time - critical because it makes us inclined to accept easy answers. The perplexity did not end when the psalmist stopped himself from slipping. His thoughts still went around in circles and he continued to have great anguish of heart and mind. How, then, were his thoughts concerning the prosperity of the ungodly resolved?

Not by grabbing at superficial answers, but by going into the sanctuary of God, where he could begin to see the whole situation from God's point of view. Listen to how he puts it: "When I tried to understand all this, it was oppressive to me till I entered the sanctuary of God; then I understood their final destiny"(Psa. 73:16-17). The word "sanctuary" here literally means the physical house of God. Some translations use the phrase, "till I entered the secret of God", but that is incorrect. Read Psalm 74 and read Psalm 76 and you will find that they both refer to the material building where God was worshipped. Had the psalmist, I wonder, like so many of us when we are filled with doubt and uncertainty, stayed away from the sanctuary of God? How strange that the last thing we want to do when our hearts are filled with doubts and misunderstandings is meet with our fellow believers in the house of God. Yet that is the very first thing we ought to do.

Prayer:
Gracious Father, I am so grateful that You have ordained that Your people meet together. Help me understand more clearly than ever the value and benefits that flow from being with Your people. In Jesus' Name I ask it. Amen.

The Bishop Who Lost His Way

Jesus said, "Heaven can be entered only through the narrow gate! The highway to hell is broad, and its gate is wide for all . . . who choose its easy way. But the Gate-way to Life is small, and the road is narrow, and only a few ever find it."1

Some years ago Bishop Fulton J. Sheen was scheduled to speak at the town hall in an unfamiliar city. He decided to walk and on the way got lost. He saw some boys so asked them the way to City Hall.

"What are you going to do there?" asked one of the boys.

"I'm going to give a lecture," replied the bishop.

"About what?"

"On how to get to heaven. Would you care to come along?"

"Are you kidding?" said the boy, "You don't even know how to get to City Hall!"

How tragic that so many people are lost, not on their way to any human address but on the way to their eternal destination. So many believe, as I once did, that if I did enough good things to outweigh the bad things I had done, that would get me into God's heaven.

Not so, I'm afraid. Jesus said, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father [God] except through me."2 This is because, no matter how good we may be by human standards, every one of us is born with the "dis-ease of sin." And if God allowed sin's disease into heaven, it would destroy heaven as it has earth.

The only way to God and heaven is not through our good works but by accepting God's Son, Jesus Christ, as our personal Lord and Savior. Jesus died to pay the penalty of our sin so he could deliver us from the effects of sin's disease which is eternal death and separation from God—the source of all love and life.

Because of what Jesus did, God now offers you and me a free pardon for all our sins. All we need to do is admit we are sinners, thank Jesus for dying on the cross in our place for our sin, invite him into our life as personal Lord and Savior, and accept his forgiveness, his gift of eternal life, and a home in heaven forever. This is God's special Christmas to all who believe.

Had there been any other way to be in a right relationship with God and heaven, then God never would have had to send his Son to die on the cross for us. So, if you have never accepted God's gift of forgiveness and eternal life, and would like help to do that right now, be sure to read: How to Be Sure You're a Real Christian without having to be religious at: http://tinyurI.com/real-christian.

Suggested prayer: "Dear God, thank You for Your great Christmas love gift to the world and for giving Your Son, Jesus, to die on the cross for my sins. I believe and ask You to forgive all my sins. And Jesus, thank You for dying on the cross in my place and I invite You into my heart and life to be my Lord and Savior. Help me to live for You always in all ways. Thank You for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus' name, amen."

1. Matthew 7:13-14 (TLB) (NLT).
2. John 14:6 (NIV).

A redeeming, healing fellowship
For reading & meditation: Hebrews 10:19-25
"Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another '" (v.25)

Yesterday we ended with the thought that the very first thing we ought to do when seeking to break out of the vicious circle of doubt is to go to the house of God. The psalmist has been prevented from falling by considering the consequences of his actions upon his brethren, so now his next step is to go and meet with them in the sanctuary. Whether it be in a cathedral or a cottage, how wonderful it is to join with Christian brothers and sisters. It is not so much the place that is important as the redeeming and healing fellowship we find there.

Oftentimes people find release just by sitting down among their brothers and sisters and feeling the healing power of their warmth and love. One famous preacher said: "The house of God has delivered me from 'the mumps and measles of the soul' a thousand times and more - merely by entering its doors." What is it about being among our fellow believers that is so helpful and encouraging? One thing is the very fact that our fellow believers are there.

You see, in our private misery and perplexity we could easily run away with the idea that there is nothing very much in the Christian faith after all, and that it is not worth our going on. But when we enter into the Lord's house and see our fellow believers coming together, often our doubts disappear. We say to ourselves, albeit unconsciously: "Here are people who think the Christian life is worth continuing with. My uncertainties must be wrong - there must be something in it after all."

Prayer:
O Father, help me see the power that flows towards me through Christian fellowship. Just as I am encouraged by it, help me to encourage others. In Jesus' Name I pray. Amen.

Successful Failure

"According to your faith will it be done to you."1

In the book, Chicken Soup for the Soul, Chuck Webster tells a story about Monty Roberts, the son of an itinerant horse trainer. Growing up Monty went with his father from stable to stable, farm to farm, and ranch to ranch training horses. Consequently he missed much of his high school education. As a senior he was asked to write a paper on what career he wanted to pursue. That night he wrote a seven-page paper describing in great detail his goal to build and own a dream horse ranch.

The next day he turned his paper in. Two days later he received it back. On the front page was a large red "F" with a note that read, "See me after class." When he saw the teacher, he asked why he was given an "F".

"The teacher said, 'This is an unrealistic dream for a young boy like you. You have no money. You come from an itinerant family. You have no resources. Owning a horse ranch requires a lot of money. You have to buy the land. You have to pay for the original breeding stock and later you'll have to pay large stud fees. There's no way you could ever do it.' Then the teacher added, 'If you will rewrite this paper with a more realistic goal, I will reconsider your grade.'"

After thinking about it for a week, he turned the paper back in exactly as he had first written it saying to the teacher, "You can keep the F and I'll keep my dream."

Today, "Monty Roberts owns a 4,000-square-foot house in the middle of a 200-acre horse ranch in San Ysidro [California]. Oh, and he still has that school paper framed over the fireplace. He didn't allow his teacher to crush his dream.2 I believe that he also owns a ranch in Santa Ynez Valley in Southern California.

Do you have a dream—especially if it is a God-given dream—don't let Satan or anyone else "pouf" it out.

Suggested prayer: "Dear God, help me to know what Your God-given purpose and dream for my life is, and give me the faith and persistence to never give up until it is fulfilled. Thank You for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus' name, amen."

Others have suffered too
For reading & meditation: 2 Peter 2:4-10
"' the Lord knows how to rescue godly men from trials '" (v.9)

We continue developing the thought that meeting together with our brothers and sisters can bring about a radical change in our perspective. Tell me, have you ever gone to church feeling a little disconsolate or depressed and found, as you have looked round and seen people who have gone through much greater struggles than you, that your heart has been strangely lifted and your burdens have seemed lighter? You see a widow, perhaps, who has been left with several children, and as you watch her singing praises to God you see your problem in a different light.

You notice a man whom you know has gone through the most horrifying experiences, but he is still there worshipping and magnifying God. This again works to change your perspective. Paul reminds us in 1 Corinthians 10:13: "No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear." One of the things the devil delights to do is to persuade us that the trial we are going through is unique. When you come in contact with others in the family of God you begin to see that is just not true.

You rub shoulders with people you know suffered extremely painful experiences - experiences more distressing than you have ever faced. Yet they still continue to sing God's praises. You see, in the church we have an opportunity to evaluate 1 Corinthians 10:13 in a clear light. The truth is seen in its highest form. Others have gone through what we have gone through, and the knowledge of this helps us in our suffering.

Prayer:
Father, the more I dwell on the benefits of Christian fellowship, the more I see how wise and considerate are Your purposes. Help me not to neglect this most marvellous and helpful means of grace. In Jesus' Name I pray. Amen.

Is There Life After Death? Part I

"Yet we have this assurance: those who belong to God shall live again! Those who dwell in the dust shall awake and sing for joy! For God's light of life will fall like dew upon them."1

Dr. Billy Graham, world-renowned speaker who is well-known for his radio and television programs, says that the question most often asked him was, "Is there life after death?"

This is an age-old question. From earliest times people have believed that life does not end with the grave. "Indeed," writes Dr. Raymond A. Moody, Jr., in his book,Life After Life. "graves from very early sites all over the earth give evidence of the belief in human survival of bodily death."2

Is man's desire for life beyond death just wishful thinking? Or is there evidence to support this belief?

Modern science seems to support it. For example, many people who have been pronounced "clinically dead" have come back to life and have given vivid accounts of being fully conscious after they had been pronounced dead by medical personnel.

For over a half-decade, Dr. Moody, who is (or was) also a psychiatrist from the University of Virginia Hospital, made a study of more than a hundred of these cases.

One of these persons described his experience this way: "I heard the doctors say that I was dead and that's when I began to feel as though I were tumbling through this blackness, which was some sort of enclosure. Everything was very black, except that, way off from me, I could see this light, but not too large at first. It grew larger as I came nearer and nearer to it.

"I was trying to get to that light at the end, because I felt that it was Christ, and I was trying to reach that point. It was not a frightening experience. For immediately, being a Christian, I had connected the light with Christ who said, 'I am the light of the world.' I said to myself, 'If this is it, if I am to die, then I know who waits for me at the end, there in the light.'"3

To be continued . . .

Suggested prayer: "Dear God, thank You for the promise from Your Word, the Bible, that 'those who belong to God shall live again.' This is a wonderful hope. Please help me to live with this assurance of eternity with eternal values in view. Thank You for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus' name, amen."

History is His-story
For reading & meditation: Ephesians 2:14-22
"In him the whole building is joined together and rises to become a holy temple in the Lord." (v.21)

There can be little doubt that meeting together with other members of God's family is a powerful way of bringing about a changed perspective. Another thing that happens when we go to church or meet together in Christian fellowship is that we are reminded that the very existence of the Church in today's world is proof positive that God is on the throne. Voltaire, the French infidel, said: "It required eleven men to build the Church; I will prove that it needs only one man to knock it down."

He was wrong on two counts: first, it was not eleven men who built the Church, it was one man, the Man, Christ Jesus, and second, no one can ever knock it down, for its omnipotent Founder declared: "I will build my church, and the gates of Hades will not overcome it" (Matt. 16:18). The mere existence of the Church is, I submit, decisive proof that the living Christ is in the midst of it. Voltaire is dust; Christ lives on.

Think of the tempests the Church has weathered through the centuries. Think also of the persecutions through which it has victoriously come, and try, if you can, to account for this extraordinary phenomenon apart from the fact that its Founder and Protector is Jesus Christ. The next time you meet together with your fellow Christians, reflect on the fact that, although every generation has produced people who have predicted the downfall of the Christian Church - it is still here. The realisation of this is yet another thing, I suggest, that helps to put our doubts into the right perspective.


Prayer:
O Father, how can I thank You enough for the times my own perspective has been changed after meeting together with Your people. I have greater insight now why You commanded us not to neglect assembling together. And I am grateful. Amen.

Is There Life After Death? Part II

"'Men of Galilee,' they [the two angels] said, 'why do you stand here looking into the sky? This same Jesus, who has been taken from you into heaven, will come back in the same way you have seen him go into heaven.'"1

Yesterday we shared the words of one person who had had a near-death experience. Another person explained, "The first thing he (the being of light) said to me was, that he kind of asked me if I was ready to die, or what I had done with my life that I wanted to show him?"2

Others experienced a deep sense of loneliness immediately after death. One person said, "I was aware the whole time of being alone—very alone—almost like I was a visitor from someplace else. It was like all relations were cut. I know—it was like there was no love or anything."3

While these experiences are interesting, the most reliable textbook we have on life after death is God's Word, the Bible, which says, "Yet we have this assurance: those who belong to God shall live again! Those who dwell in the dust shall awake and sing for joy! For God's light of life will fall like dew upon them!"4

In the New Testament Paul wrote, "I am telling you this strange and wonderful secret: we shall not all die, but we shall all be given new bodies…. For our earthly bodies, the ones we have now that can die, must be transformed into heavenly bodies that cannot perish but will live forever."5

While the most reliable textbook of life after death is the Bible, the greatest proof is Jesus Christ's own resurrection from death. He wasn't classified as merely "clinically dead" for a brief time. After dying on a Roman cross, he had been dead and in the grave for three days when he came back to life again.

Both the Jewish and Roman leaders hated Christianity. So all they had to do to destroy it forever was to find the body of Christ—which nobody ever did, for the Christian faith was established on the fact of his resurrection.

Christ's disciples were so convinced of his resurrection that each one gave his life for preaching that Christ had risen from the dead. They believed this because they had seen him killed, buried and resurrected for themselves.

The morning of his resurrection, Christ was seen by Mary Magdalene6 and women returning from the empty tomb.7 That same day he was seen by Peter,8 later by two of his followers on the road to Emmaus,9 and at night by the disciples.10

To be continued . . .

Suggested prayer: "Dear God, thank You for the record in Your Word, the Bible, regarding the witnesses who saw the 'Living Christ' following His death, burial and resurrection. And thank You again for Your promise of life after life for all Your true followers. Thank You for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus' name, amen."

And we all . . . are being transformed
. . . from one degree of glory to another—2 Corinthians 3:18

There’s a pattern to the lives of men trying to follow Jesus Christ: sin, confession, repentance, change . . . sin, confession, repentance, change. There are other aspects to these men’s lives, but this pattern is always present. It ensures that lives are transformed, over time—that sins changeand lessen in severity through the cycles of the pattern. It is, in this way, an upward spiral of increasingly coming into the character of Jesus. The pattern ensures that no man gets stuck in sin, or worse, in a downward, ever more severe, spiral of sin.

God the Holy Spirit—when and if we offer our lives to Jesus—will guide us into upward spirals. If we hold onto our lives, though, we’ll inevitably slip into downward ones. It may not be obvious at first, maybe not for years, until we can deny it no longer—until anger, anxiety, depression, despondency, loneliness, isolation, boredom, or rebellion take over. And, even then, we can still offer our lives to Jesus and begin upward spirals. The penitent thief, crucified next to Jesus, began one just minutes before his death (Luke 23:40-43).

Now, being men, a question arises: can we hit the throttle of change? Can we speed the velocity of our upward spirals? Absolutely. The Spirit does most of the work—it’s called grace. But, we can couple more and more of our obedience to more and more of his grace and, thereby, crank up the speed of our transformations . . . and, in fact, the transformations of our faith communities.



Get into community with other men. Create a safe place for authentic, raw confession. Encourage each other to turn from sin, from wrong beliefs about yourselves and about God. Pray expectantly for ever more change. Do just those . . . and things will get interesting quickly.

Life's greatest science
For reading & meditation: Ephesians 3:14-21
"' that you... may be able to comprehend with all the saints '" (vv.17-18, NKJ)

We are seeing that once we enter the sanctuary of God our perspective changes. This can happen to us when we are alone, of course, but the chances are it will happen more swiftly in the act of corporate worship. It is a command of God that we meet together, not only that we might come to know each other better, but that we might also come to know Him better. And here's the interesting thing - the more effectively we relate to one another, the more effectively we relate to Him. We come to know God better through the act of corporate worship than when we worship on our own.

That is not to say that the shut-ins, or those who for various reasons are unable to meet together in worship, cannot know God intimately, but something special flows out of the act of corporate worship. Listen to how C.S. Lewis put it: "God can show Himself as He really is only to real men. And that means not simply men who are individually good but to men who are united together in a body, loving one another, helping one another, showing Him to one another.

For that is what God meant humanity to be like; like players in one band, or organs in one body. Consequently the only real adequate instrument for learning about God is the whole Christian community, waiting for Him together. Christian brotherhood is, so to speak, the technical equipment for this science - the laboratory outfit." Christians who neglect attendance at the church, or choose to deprive themselves of fellowship with other Christians, miss out on life's greatest science - learning about God.

Prayer:
My Father and my God, I am so thankful that, although I can know You when I am alone, I can know You even better through the fellowship of the Church. Help me to learn about You in every way I can. In Jesus' Name I ask it. Amen.

Is There Life After Death? Part III

"I am telling you this strange and wonderful secret: we shall not all die, but we shall all be given new bodies…For our earthly bodies, the ones we have now that can die, must be transformed into heavenly bodies that cannot perish but will live forever."1

Yesterday we gave references of those who saw Jesus following his resurrection from the grave. Following are more witnesses: Eight days after his resurrection, Jesus is seen again by the disciples2 and at the Lake of Tiberias by seven of the disciples—including Peter, James, and John.3

On a Galilean mountain Jesus appeared to more than 500 of his followers at one time.4 He also appeared to his brother, James, who prior to Christ's resurrection totally rejected him as the Messiah.5 Perhaps one of the strongest evidences of the resurrection is this dramatic change in James, who became one of the chief leaders in the early Christian church.

At the Mount of Olives, on the day of his return to heaven, Christ was again seen by the eleven disciples, the brothers of Jesus and several women, including his mother.6 Later the ascended Christ appeared in a blinding light to Paul on the road to Damascus,7 to Stephen when he was being stoned to death,8 to Paul again at the Temple,9 and finally to John on the Isle of Patmos.10

In about A.D. 100 Josephus, the Jewish historian, wrote in his Antiquities that Jesus "appeared to them alive on the third day, as the divine prophets had foretold these and ten thousand other wonderful things concerning him."11 Since Josephus was a Jew writing to please the Romans, this story would not have pleased them in the slightest. He would hardly have included it if it were false.12 Ancient men believed that there was life after death. Jesus Christ himself taught this and proved it by his own resurrection. Josephus, the Jewish historian, reported Christ's resurrection. And now modern science seems to confirm what the Bible has been teaching for several thousand years—that there is life after death.

The crucial point, however, is to be sure that we are personally ready for life beyond the grave. We can be by confessing our sinfulness to God, by acknowledging our need of God, and by responding to Jesus Christ's call to receive him as personal Lord and Savior. To assist you in doing this and to be sure that you are prepared for life after death, read: "How to Be Sure You're a Real Christian—without having to be religious" at: http://tinyurI.com/real-christian.

God's Word says, "For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life."13

Suggested prayer: "Dear God, thank You again for the assurance from Your Word, the Bible, of life after death for all Your true followers. Please help me to know for certain that I have accepted Jesus as my Savior and am prepared for the life to come after my life here on earth. Thank You for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus' name, amen."

Changed perspectives in church
For reading & meditation: Luke 24:28-35
"Were not our hearts burning within us while he talked with us on the road and opened the Scriptures to us?" (v.32)

Another thing that brings about a changed perspective when we make our way to the house of God is the reading and exposition of the Scriptures. I make this statement on the assumption that the Scriptures are expounded in your church, for, sadly, in some congregations this is not so. In the days of the psalmist, of course, they did not have the Bible as we know it today, but the portions of the Word of God that they did have they recited and meditated upon.

How many times have you gone to church feeling confused about God's dealing with you, only to find that as the Scriptures are opened your view of God and life changes, causing you to leave refreshed and reinvigorated? Calvin put it like this: "As the elderly, or those with poor sight can hardly make out the words in a book, but with the help of glasses can read clearly, so Scripture crystallises ideas about God which had been very confused, scatters the darkness and shows us the true God clearly." You could, and should, read the Scriptures at home, but there is something special about hearing the Word of God expounded in church.

Merely to hear a well-known text spoken by someone who emphasises a word which we might not emphasise, can strike us in a way that adds new meaning to it. Do you have a jaundiced view of God and life at this very moment? Go to church on Sunday, to a Bible-believing church, and expect God to speak to you from His Word. I have it on the highest authority that He will.

Prayer:
Father, forgive me for taking for granted the revelation that flows from Your Word - whether it comes privately or in church. From now on, whenever I am "talked to" by the Scriptures, help me to recognise it and to receive it with gratitude. Amen.

Personal Honesty: Key to Effective Relationships Part I

"So he said, 'I heard Your voice in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; and I hid myself.'"1

There was a time in my life when I thought that to be liked, I had to be strong—strong like the Rock of Gibraltar. Let the storms rage, the lightning strike, the winds blast, and the seas beat violently against it, and there it stands, solid as a rock and secure.

To me, fear was weak and anger bad, so you never showed these emotions, and as a man you certainly never showed your hurt feelings or cried. Through years of practice, I learned to hide many of my emotions, put on a brave front, and pretend to be something outwardly that I wasn't feeling inwardly.

The trouble with being a rock, however, is that rocks don't feel. They aren't real either, and they can't relate intimately to anyone. Neither could I. Like the first man, Adam, who feared rejection, "I, too, was afraid, so I hid myself."

One of the serious side effects of denying and hiding our emotions is that we deposit them in our unconscious memory bank where they build up unhealthy interest. The payoff is that we either withdraw or become defensive, touchy, hostile, non-feeling, cold and distant, and/or depressed.

Or we act out these buried emotions through destructive behavior or physical illnesses. Medical science reminds us that unresolved emotions such as fear, sorrow, envy, resentment and hatred are responsible for many of our sicknesses. Estimates vary from 60 percent to nearly 100 percent.2

The point is, whenever we fail to admit our faults and talk or write out our negative feelings in creative ways, we inevitably act them out in self-destructive ways.

Dr. Cecil Osborne, author and counselor wrote, "Many persons bury feelings which they find unacceptable. For instance, one learned as a child that hate, greed, jealousy, fear and lust were 'bad.' 'You shouldn't feel that way,' is the message which the child received, verbally or otherwise. Furthermore, by a clever bit of unconscious dishonesty, one may have said to himself, 'A Christian never hates. I am a Christian, therefore I never feel hatred.' And the aggression which is part of the normal equipment of an average human being is then buried in the unconscious, only to come out in some unacceptable form, often as a physical symptom."3

Denial of emotions also acts as poison to relationships. It erects "brick walls" around the heart and suffocates love, intimacy and closeness.

To be continued …

Suggested prayer: "Dear God, please deliver me from the sin of dishonesty (denial) and help me to be honest and real with myself, others, and with You. Thank You for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus' name, amen."

Missing from the meeting!
For reading & meditation: John 20:24-31
"Now Thomas ' was not with the disciples when Jesus came." (v.24)

We said a couple of days ago that those who choose to deprive themselves of fellowship with other Christians miss out on life's greatest science - learning about God. I heard one preacher say: "People who neglect attendance at the house of God are fools because on some favoured occasion something special and powerful will happen - and they will not be there."

The passage we have read today tells us of that glorious post- resurrection appearance of our Lord to His disciples. The disciples thought He was dead, and although there were rumours of His resurrection, they were not convinced. Suddenly, He appeared to them - they saw Him, heard Him, and felt the impact of His mighty presence. But here is the heart-rending tragedy of it: "Thomas ' was not with the disciples when Jesus came." Why was Thomas missing from that meeting? Many preachers have speculated on the reasons for his absence, and they vary from Thomas not expecting Jesus to be there, to being afraid for his life.

My own view, for what it is worth, is that there was something wrong with Thomas himself. The root cause of his defection, so I believe, was his own doubting and denying heart. My experience in the ministry has taught me that those who profess to be Christians and yet deliberately absent themselves from fellowship with their brothers and sisters, are the ones who are usually most in need of this fellowship.

Prayer:
Gracious and loving heavenly Father, help me realise that the very time I need to be among my brothers and sisters is when I am at my lowest spiritually. Burn this truth into my consciousness so that it will never leave me. In Jesus' Name. Amen.

Personal Honesty: Key to Effective Relationships Part II

"But you [God] desire honesty from the heart, so you can teach me to be wise in my inmost being."1

In speaking about personal honesty in regard to interpersonal relationships, best-selling author, Dr. John Powell, believes that "most of us feel that others will not tolerate emotional honesty in communication. We would rather defend our dishonesty on the grounds that it might hurt others, and, having rationalized our phoniness into nobility, we settle for superficial relationships. Consequently, we ourselves do not grow, nor do we help anyone else to grow. Meanwhile, we have to live with repressed emotions—a dangerous and self-destructive path to follow. Any relationship which is to have the nature of true personal encounter must be based on honest, open, gut-level communication. The alternative is to remain in my prison, to endure inch-by-inch death as a person."2

Denial of emotions (and motives) also causes the exaggeration of opposite characteristics. Saccharine-sweet people often seethe inwardly with hostility. People who withdraw take their anger out on others in underhanded passive-aggressive ways. Withdrawal is a "dirty way to fight." The dogmatic are riddled with self-doubts. The overconfident are insecure. The extremely prudish are overcompensating for sexual inadequacies. Others silence painful feelings in over-busyness or go-go-go activity, substance dependency, destructive behavior, overeating, constant talking, unbalanced religious fervor, theological rigidity, a controlling attitude, and so on.

Others project their faults onto others, seeing in them the very faults that lie hidden within themselves. They simply cannot accept in others what they refuse to accept in themselves. Or they might displace their bad feelings by taking them out on somebody else. For example, Fred may be angry at his boss, but fearing he may lose his job if he says anything, takes his feelings out on his wife and children.

We can also become experts at rationalization. For example, when we deny our fears, we can unconsciously sabotage our relationships, or set ourselves up to fail in certain situations. We then brush off our failures by making excuses, blaming others, or even by saying what happened must have been God's will!

The challenge is, how do we learn to be honest with ourselves? It isn't easy. For many, it's like learning a new language. And as long as we are not honest with ourselves, there is no way we can be honest with God or anyone else. And without personal honesty, it is impossible to have closeness and true intimacy with anybody. However, there are some positive steps we can take. We will discuss these in tomorrow's Daily Encounter.

To be continued …

Suggested prayer: "Dear God, please help me to get in touch with all my emotions and my motives, and be honest about these so that I will know wisdom in my innermost being. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus' name, amen."

Natural versus spiritual thinking
For reading & meditation: 1 Corinthians 2:6-16
"The man without the Spirit does not accept the things that come from the Spirit of God '" (v.14)

We have been seeing that by going "into the sanctuary" - the place where God had made provision to meet with His people - the psalmist has put himself in a position where his perspectives can be changed. This section of the psalm is probably the most vital part, for it is here that his thinking begins to change from natural thinking to spiritual thinking. He had been thinking like a natural man, considering life from just one perspective, but in the sanctuary he begins to see life from God's point of view. What is the difference between natural thinking and spiritual thinking?

Natural thinking is on the level of the earth - the level of man; spiritual thinking is on a higher level altogether - the level of God. It is surprising that so many Christians think naturally about their problems rather than spiritually. The psalmist was a good and godly man but under the pressure of circumstances he had reverted to thinking naturally about his problem.

We will never learn to live effectively until we understand that the whole of life is spiritual, not just parts of it. In the chapter before us today the apostle asks, in effect, why it was that none of the rulers of this world recognised the Lord Jesus Christ when He was here. It was because they looked at Him from a natural perspective - they saw only a carpenter. Without the Holy Spirit operating upon their minds, they just could not understand. Ultimately, the problems and difficulties of life are all spiritual; so the sooner we learn to think spiritually, the better we will be.

Prayer:
Gracious and loving heavenly Father, I realise that if I am to become a spiritual thinker I must allow You to think in me. I have given You my heart, help me now to give You my mind. Think in me, dear Lord. Amen.

Personal Honesty: Key to Effective Relationships Part III

"So get rid of all malicious behavior and deceit. Don't just pretend to be good! Be done with hypocrisy [dishonesty] and jealousy and backstabbing. You must crave pure spiritual milk so that you can grow into the fullness of your salvation."1

To help become personally honest, authentic and real, and thereby greatly enhance our relationships, the following steps will help:

First, realize that a normal human being has a whole spectrum of emotions ranging from love, joy, peace, wonder, through to fear, hurt, anger and so on. These are all God-given emotions. Without them, life would be characteristically dull and boring. To be emotionally whole means to be in touch with every God-given human emotion.

Second, we need to see our need and strongly desire to be honest.

Third, we need to admit and accept responsibility for any problems we have, and consider the possibility that our impaired relationships, dull marriage, unsatisfactory sex life in our marriage, anxiety, depression, destructive habits and any physical symptoms we have might be caused by unresolved super-charged repressed negative emotions.

Fourth, and most important of all, we need to learn to pray the right prayer. If necessary, tell God that you don't know how, or are too afraid, to be honest with yourself and need his help. Ask him to give you the courage to see yourself as you are and to face the truth about yourself. His answer will probably come in an unexpected way—perhaps through a book, a personal setback, a friend, a difficult or broken relationship, or some other painful situation. Unfortunately, most of us only look at our inner-self if we are hurting sufficiently.

Fifth, learn through practice to express your feelings openly and honestly, especially to the people who are important to you. If you're feeling hurt, afraid, confused, or angry, admit it and say, "I feel confused or angry." Never say, "You make me angry," or "You hurt me." This blames the other person for our response, which is always our problem and responsibility. Identify why you are feeling the way you are. For example, say, "I know my feelings are my problem, and I may be overreacting, but when you speak sharply to me as you just did, I feel hurt and/or angry." Or simply, "When you say (or do) things like that, I feel very hurt and/or angry."

If the person won't accept your feelings, write them out in a letter. If you feel you should give it to the person, sleep on it and re-write it before doing so. If they still won't accept them, try what Gary Smalley and John Trent suggest in their book,The Language of Love. Share how you are feeling by using word pictures; that is, make up a story or parable that will clearly show how you are feeling.

Finally, if I love you, I will always be open and honest with you and as the Bible suggests, I will always strive to "speak the truth in love." Therefore, I will never blame you for my feelings, but will take full responsibility for them and for handling them in a loving, non-judgmental manner.

Denying our faults and feelings, acting them out blindly, or lashing out and hurting others with them, is weak and immature. Acknowledging and talking them out in a responsible manner is a hallmark of the mature adult. It may not be easy, but it is true strength, and is the only way to develop growth-producing and intimate relationships.

Suggested prayer: "Dear God, please help me to be honest with myself, and open and honest in all my relationships and with You—and thereby be a clear channel for Your love to flow through to every life I touch. Thank You for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus' name, amen."